MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

[lilseb]

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

Your childhood home would be far colder than 16. I remember the days of frozen windows, having to get dressed under the covers or run down and dress in front of the gas fire. It was miserable, Mum did her best, but we had no central heating. My current bedroom is 17 degrees, sometimes a little cooler and it is no where near as cold as my childhood bedroom.

Your husband needs to loosen the purse strings now he has a little one to care for 🙄

Listen to your MIL.

Why are you so tight with the heating? If you're that stuck for money, why did you have a baby who is going to cost hundreds of thousands for the next eighteen years.

Sixteen degrees is too cold. My inadequately insulated kitchen is sixteen degrees when its very cold outside and its too uncomfortably cold to sit and eat.

Put on the heating so your child doesn't develop lung problems and can sleep comfortably.

I think 16 is pretty cool, but not ridiculous. Husband and I both run very hot and we tend to keep ours between 16-18 and only put it up if we have guests because we know we're on the lower end of temps for most people's comfort.

Saying that your MIL needs to wind her neck in a bit and simmer down. While 16 is cool it's within the recommended range with a new baby, it's not like you're putting your baby in the freezer overnight, and your husband is a grown ass adult who can manage his own flipping asthma.

Her being kept awake worrying about it is the same ridiculous melodrama as all the people who post on here about shaking and sobbing over a minor inconvenience. It's ridiculous and over the top, and as you say - your house your baby your rules.

Tell your husband to tell his mother: message received but we're fine thank you.

18-20 is recommended for babies.

This. I don't think our heating would come on that low. Off at night though from 10.30, no heating at all.

Mil is right. 16 degrees is cold. Poor baby.

16 is too cold for a baby. I think 18 is the recommended minimum isn't it?
I would personally say 18.5 is the minimum "ok" temperature to keep the chill off, 19.5-20 is more comfortably warm.
You need to remember young children aren't as good at regulating their temperature so will feel the cold more than an adult. They just don't have the body weight or development to feel warm as easily, it's the same as how someone larger will often feel warmer, DH is slightly overweight and I'm slightly underweight and he will be ok in a t-shirt at temperatures where I will be needing a warm jumper to feel comfortable.

You know in Scandinavia it’s very common for parents to leave their babies bundled up in their prams outside in winter?

16 is a bit on the cold side inside. 18 would be better but your baby will be fine.

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21537988.amp

I am Team MIL. 16 degrees is too cold imo and not healthy. My ideal is 22 but I like it warm. I would say minimum reasonable temperature is 18.

I'd love it. I hate stuffy houses, especially bedrooms

Your tight arse husband is the issue not MIL.

This .... as my mum would say "penny wise pound foolish "
Won't put the heating on but forking out for heaters and work men

I had temp control up to 20c today. 16 is too cold . Grandson aged 7 months would be miserable. Get that heating on !

I was going to tell the OP she is being reasonable but I'm afraid you just nlew her out the water. 24 is hideous. 30 is indescribably ridiculous.

I think it's a false economy to pay a heating expert to come in and explain that your bedroom is cold because you're heating isn't on high enough. Just put the heating up! It'll cost more, but you'll save what you would have spent on the heating expert.

(Do make sure that your radiator in the bedroom is on and has been bled).

Another to add to the chorus...that's freezing. I'd have to be wearing my coat to be able to sit in your home. Our thermostat is set at 21⁰.

The property is your HOME. You and your baby's home.
You live in a damp and cold country. Put on the bloody heating and stop making excuses.

If you’re putting the heating on just in the morning and evening to get the house to 16, how cold is it when the heating isn’t on?
16 is too cold. Have it on constant 18 with a baby in the house. You can’t be tight with keeping a baby warm.

Just checked the temperature in my bedroom - it's 15°. It's fine for me, I grew up in a freezing house so I'm used to it. I'm comfortable!
Stuffy hot houses are a nightmare for me, same as hot cars, but I think 16 degrees is too cool for a baby for sure.

I don’t understand the thought behind putting the testing on at 16 then using space heaters - they will cost you more. I have my heat set at 18 but I like a cold bedroom so just have the radiator off in there, as well as the spare room. It’s on all day but it fires up if the temp drops below 18. At night I put my living room gas fire on as I love the look of it.
I’d far rather be comfortable than save a couple quid.
Have you checked the radiator in your room? Maybe it needs bleeding.

Putting baby and appropriate temps to one side for a moment. Friends of ours had a similar issue and, like you, they run a colder house. They brought the specialists in and the key advice they were given was to heat the house to a more consistent higher temperature. One side of the house was becoming prone to damp because of the lower temps.

I'm a childminder and we're recommended to keep temperatures at a minimum of 18c with babies and small children. I think 16-17 is ok overnight if you are wrapped up warm though.

I'm team 16 degrees. Another poster saying they wear a coat out when it's 16 degrees outside? 16 degrees is t shirt weather.

16 degrees is uncomfortably cool.
The minimum to feel comfortable (for me) is 18/19 degrees.

I'm sorry - but yes the house is too cold.