MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

[lilseb]

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

Against advice from Public Health England, NHS and Asthma + Lung UK. Minimum indoor temperatures guidance is 18°C and slightly higher for babies, etc. As many posters have said on this thread, OP's home temperature of 16°C is OK as it is the guidance minimum for their nursery. The Lullaby Trust advice is clearly concerning the baby's bedroom/sleeping.

We've tragically had a SIDS death in the family so we were acutely aware of low temperatures in baby's room and not swaddling, etc when DC were babies

Some would say your house is insanely warm and dangerous for a small baby.

Some would ask how babies survive in countries where the temperature never drops below 22 degrees.

Loving the frost inside the window anecdotes, this is how my Dh grew up. I used to dread staying at his parents’ place. He is a ‘cool’ person but I have Reynauds, just boosted the heating to 24 for a couple of hours.

Why is your dh discussing the house temperature with his dm? Interesting topic of conversation!

In perspective.. the AC in the car only goes down to 16 and that’s considered cold..

This is for baby’s room when sleeping, not necessarily for the whole house all day.

Re the main bedroom being too cold, get the boiler serviced, bleed the rad in there. If it’s an older property, you may have bits from the circulating water blocking the pipes (according to my plumber) . We had a new boiler put in, but there were constant issues, turns out there was a fault in a part, had to have the specialist from the manufacturer out eventually.

What about if you leave the house and it’s less than 16°c in the autumn/ winter 🙄

You put on a scarf, coat, gloves as appropriate?

Well you and baby would be wearing warm coats , baby would be wrapped up in a pushchair, not crawling around or sitting in a high chair in indoor clothing 🙄

It is considered relatively cooler than a warmer temperature.

If it was zero outside, 16 inside would feel relatively warm.

the thermostat in our house is in the main hallway, where it's colder than the rest of the house. its set to 20 currently.

At the moment its a cozy 21.4 in my lounge according to the thermometer we have in here. that's warm enough to sit in just long sleeves with no extra layers or blankets.

Soon as we open the door into the hall there is a rather cool draught from the front door and my mother having her bedroom window open all day which keeps the upstairs cooler. my bedroom thermometer is only at 18.

It means it drops cooler out there where the thermostat is before it drops in the living room.

you have to remember that just because your thermostat is set to keep it 16+, it doesn't mean that is THAT temp in every room, and the only way you can be sure the baby is in a comfortable temp, is by having a thermometer in that room.

also, as someone pointed out, the egg thermometer would be blue at 16c.

In schools in lreland if the classroom temperature drops below 16 due to malfunctioning heat etc children must be sent home. That is in a busy class with over 25 children buzzing around.
I thought dh here was a tightarse but he has it at a constant 19 and no babies around.
Better be safe. Put it up higher and don't bother with all the extra stuff.
Your mil may know her son is mean and is protecting you by raising the issue

also, as someone pointed out, the egg thermometer would be blue at 16c

But at 16.0001 degrees it would be yellow.

Going outside in winter v staying inside? Did you think about that at all before posting?

Sleeping temperatures are very different than day time temps. I wouldn’t go under 20 in the day with a small baby who will be sitting on the ground/baby chairs etc. We had friends who claimed to have a ‘clingy’ baby. Their house was absolutely freezing. At 16 during the day the baby would need to be a in a snowsuit or always wrapped in blankets.

Server rooms are kept at 16 degrees

What is the relevance to comparing equipment with humans?’

I don't think your home is ever getting warm enough to hold any heat. It's recommended to set your thermostat to 18° during the day at least. Anything less is a false economy.

Just to counter most of the comments here, ours is set to 14/15. Maybe our thermostat is not reading the temperature properly but it’ll perfectly comfortable inside and feels much warmer. We have a dehumidifier which handles the moisture and also dryer air tends to make it feel warmer inside. A light jumper is enough to be comfortable. I turn it up if anyone is feeling cold. My colleague sets hers to 23 and her heating bill for her 1 bed flat is more than ours for our 100 year old, 3 bed house. If you’re comfortable, there is absolutely nothing wrong with 16, just watch for moisture and maybe have the dehumidifier on. Your MIL sounds really paranoid and controlling.

thats too cold for a newborn. Splash out on heating for baby’s sake. MIL is trying to keep you all well.

i dont think the computers will catch a chill, but you're welcome to petition for their rights to be nice and cosy if you like.

16c no wonder she’s worried! Because you’re warm everyone else is? Keep your house warm for your baby

Ohh, I’ve only just understood your title!

It’s ’MIL not sleeping, over our house being too cold’.

I’d read it as ‘MIL not sleeping over, our house being too cold’.

Well she’s being a bit histrionic! Though also has a point about your house.

Just shows the importance of punctuation