To find this statement from DP strange

[Totaleclipseofaheart]

For context- DP and I have been together a decade and recently became parents. His mother has become incredibly overbearing and after months of keeping quiet I finally confided in my DP and told him what toll it was having on my mental well being and that I (not him or us) need to see her less. Our relationship with DP has taken a nose dive since that convo and he has recently told me that he struggling to see a future for us as HE IS AT HIS HAPPIEST WHEN HE IS WITH HIS MUM AND DAD.
Is it unreasonable of me to find this statement from a man in his late 30s who has just had a baby really strange?

Take back your control. Tell your husband you don’t want a fight but you won’t be told what to do all the time and be made miserable.

Yes. My friend’s parent are definitely the ‘we’ve raised competent adults who don’t need to rely on us’ kind.

She’s been in therapy for years as a result.

I’m struggling to answer you without outing myself @JadeSquid but trust me when I say I AM one of those other parents.
What I don’t and won’t do is get involved in their relationships. That’s their business, not mine, which suits them (and me) and is at it should be.

Fantastic post drowning in common sense.
Thank you

It sounds like a silly thing said in a fight. My husband has said silly things while arguing as have i. Equally, I really love being with my parents and can understand how the people who raised you often 'get' you the best.

HOWEVER! none of that is an excuse for poor behaviour. At the end of the day, my husband would sulk a bit at the inevitable baby take over, then he'd pull himself together and take the bins out or whatever, because thats life.

Communication is key. As long as you've made it clear that he can go over a couple of times a week with your baby to his parents, then he should have nothing to worry about.

I stopped making such an effort with my in laws recently. They were being complete know-it-alls about something and I just couldnt be listening to them. They said to my husband one day "gremlins is avoiding us" but I had to say to my husband that no, I wasn't avoiding them, I was just not making as much effort and it was really showing me how much I had previously been the one to make the effort. Im not brokering my husbands relationship with his parents or theirs with their grandkids any more!

I think you'll find once the baby stage is over, everything will settle down with your MIL. It certainly did for me once my MIL realised I wasn't going to play dolls with her 24/7 and do what she told me. Also once kids start having tantrums its less novel for the grandparents!

I think you should phone him at work when she says stuff like that- immediately, just say hang on a moment Moira, phone him, put him on speaker and say do your mum has come to visit, it seems to be to tell me we are now using the wrong nappies. Could you answer this one please?

and repeat. Tell him if he wants his mum to be allowed to visit while he’s not here he needs to be prepared to answer to her bullying a new mum and his wife, so to take your calls, or you won’t let her in.

@JadeSquid and @outofofficeagain I once had the misfortune to encounter such parents and the appalling effects they had.
Awful.

In this day and age where we have some recognition of violence against women, would you not want your adult daughter to always know she can come home, even with absolutely nothing?

Agreed but as I’m not in that situation, neither is the OP, it doesn’t apply.