DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

[Emsieo]

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

If the dolls are expensive would he also then have needed to buy something of the same value for your son? That then seems to make the trip very expensive when usually people just bring home a token gift

American Girl will ship to the UK if you phone and ask. Although it might not be affordable given the shit storm that is US shipping at the moment.
Not sure where the hideous comments are coming from, they are wholesome age appropriate dolls, with nice accessories, albeit expensive. We have a few, although mostly bought second hand.

OP your husband was being an unthinking arse. Why do people make excuses for these men, even if he wasn't sure, he could have asked you. The AG store is extensive, there is nothing like it in the UK, no idea how you'd not think to get your doll loving child something. If he'd thought they were too expensive, that would be fair, but he didn't think at all.

I duno i don't think it's the crime of the century. If it's not something you or DD have specifically mentioned i can understand thinking it's not that big a deal. Similarly if SIL had already asked and he had to bring 2 back, how much suitcase soace would he have left anyway ?

You make it sound as though he bought his nieces presents and got his own children nothing but this isn’t true. His sister asked him to bring back the dolls she wanted to give
her girls for Christmas. She gave him the money for it. He obviously had ideas about what his daughters are going to be given for Christmas. For a change I am Team DH on this one. Why would he buy them dolls when Christmas is just around the corner and they will be getting presents of both your choosing. Are you always like this op? Making problems where there are none. You have posters on here calling your dh cruel. Appalling.

This is a little extreme.. Based on the title I thought he had bought his nieces gifts and not his own DD, which is no the case.

I would agree he could have potentially discussed with his wife, regarding gettin one for their DD, but they are really expensive dolls, so it's not just a small purchase on the whim.

This wouldn't bother me and your thread title is a bit misleading.

His sister gave him money and instructions whilst he was on a business trip to buy the dolls. Unless there's a backstory where DD has said she would really like one of these specific dolls then I don't see what the big issue is.

I wouldn’t be upset about this - he was on a work trip and dashed in to get something specific requested by his sister, he wasn’t mooching around pondering who else he could lovely things for and forgot his own DD!

years ago I was in NY on a business trip and went to the American girl store for a specific doll for my DD - honestly I nearly lost the will to live in there, it’s crazy overwhelming and I just wanted to get what I needed and get out. I’d be surprised if he didn’t feel similarly

What excuse?

His sister asked him to pick up these dolls and gave him money. He still brought gifts for kids, just not a doll to add to the many his daughter already has.

Unless OP and him discussed getting said doll as a Christmas gift too, he did nothing wrong.

I can't see the issue here. SIL sent him the money and asked him to get X and Y.

You never mentioned American Girl Dolls and he presumably saw them in person and didn't think they were worth the money for his DD.

Also, if he'd bought one for DD, he'd have needed to spend the same amount again finding something for DS.

I agree with the poster saying you're annoyed because SIL thought to get two for her DD's and you didn't.

Most dads I’d like to think in a store buying something for little girls with his own little girl at home would go daughter would love one I’ll get her one as well.

DH wouldn't have done. I strongly suspect he has ADHD and it just wouldn't occur to him to get something unless I had asked him.

It could have so easily gone the other way.

”AIBU? Dh was asked to buy DNs American girls dolls so he went and bought one for DD. It was so expensive, it’s bloody huge for a doll, and she has stacks of dolls!! I know she’ll want all the accessories for it as well which we just don’t have room to store.
I know it’s nice he was generous but aibu to think he should have asked first?”

Generally I don’t stick up for husbands who say ‘I didn’t think’ but in this instance I think OP is being a bit unfair. I agree she’s disappointed SIL thought of it but didn’t say anything.

Yes, because I can't imagine that this is the only thing he's fucked up on. Once a useless, selfish test, always a selfish, useless test.

This says it really.

Can't believe people are getting so worked up either... These dolls are super expensive, at best he could have asked his wife if he should get one.

Probably because he knows his own daughter has lots of dolls already?
Why would he buy her another of something she already has lots of. The fact its a particular brand is just that brands clever marketing, they are just dolls like any other and she already has lots of dolls?!

If this was something so obvious to buy her why didnt you think to suggest it to him before he went, it can't have been that obvious a thing she would want, you didn't suggest it either.

Not only misleading but left out he did bring something for the kids, just not a doll for his daughter when OP herself says she has plenty.

Yeah, I kind of agree with this. Thread title is slightly misleading I think because it suggested (to me at least) that he'd spontaneously thought "ooh, I must buy my nieces a really special gift with my own money" and not thought of his own daughter, which would be crappy, but it sounds like he was given a very specific errand by their mum who is also going to pay him back for the dolls. Plus he did bring them back something of his own accord.

Having said that, I'm someone whose kid would buy a new doll or cuddly toy every three hours, love it the MOST for five minutes and then never play with it again, so I'm quite biased against gifts that can't be eaten or otherwise consumed!

I voted you were not being unreasonable but I've changed my mind.

Yes, would have been nice if he'd bought one for DD but it sounds like he was just following a request from SIL rather than actively Xmas shopping.

The dolls might have been a lot to carry depending on size.

What if he'd bought the doll for DD and you'd had a go at him for wasting money on expensive toys? He's not a mind reader.

Your DD is only 6 and won't be upset, unless you tell her what's happened.

I can understand why you're a bit annoyed, but I think you should just let it go.

But why has he fucked up on this? I don't see the problem and people saying why didn't he think to get his daughter one are being OTT. There is every chance he did look at them while buying the ones for his nieces using the money he was given and thought what a waste of money/glad DD already has lots of dolls so she doesn't need another.
I don't know why people are jumping on him being a useless arse. Unless DD specifically had this on her own list (which is highly unlikely) then I don't think he is in the wrong here.

Those dolls look bloody awful to me. And they are very expensive. I hope he is buying his girls something better and more thought through for Christmas, something they actually want rather than just copying his sister and making some unplanned purchase.

Oh, stop being so bloody dramatic 😂

If he had bought his nieces gifts and not your children then that would have been weird and wrong.

However, he didn't do that - he bought small gifts for his children.
And he did some shopping for his SIL.

I think the fact that it was a doll and your DD also likes dolls is a bit irrelevant actually.

Exactly.

I bet DD doesn't even know or care about American Girl Dolls anyway 😂

I'm always amazed by how low the bar is set for men and their behaviour. They get away with it because we allow them to. If I were OP I'd be giving him a mammoth kick up the arse.

He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did.

Aw for fuck sake.