DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

[Emsieo]

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

It’s a bit thoughtless, but the thread title is misleading. He didn’t buy them as a gift for his nieces, he was just doing his SiL a favour.

Wtf why? No mention of this particular American doll until the sister in law specifically wanted them for her kids so why is it now the must have doll. The kid hasn’t even asked for it herself. There are a million dolls or toys she can have for her Christmas.

I was recently on a work trip to Amsterdam and popped into the Lego store. It was fab. My son loves Lego. I didn’t bring back any for him.

So the fuck what 🙄

He was in the bloody store 😂, it would be very apparent.

Jesus. It really is a low bar.

Shit dad

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong as he was just doing a favour for someone. I don’t have a 6 year old or girls so may be completely wrong but I would have thought a 6 year old would be a bit old for a doll and wanting other things for Christmas m.

I wouldn't impulse buy an expensive extra Christmas gift for just one of my children on a trip abroad either and I have a woman brain.

Is there some reason he has to be told?

Op, be honest would you have expected him to buy this doll if SIL had not made the specific request?

Did your DD say she wanted one of these dolls for Christmas?

why didn’t you ask DH to buy one of these dolls given that he was going to be busy with work and travelling back (I speak as one who finds these things stressful. Some Godawful Trump doll would be the last thing on my mind).

Or he thought his daughter had enough dolls and didn’t see the point in buying another one especially one that is more expensive than most.

OP also hasn’t disclosed if they talked about Christmas gifts at all.

I don’t know about you, but my DH and I discuss what we are getting the kids for Christmas together. I’d be annoyed if he spent money on an American Doll if that wasn’t decided considering how expensive they are and even more so if our daughter had plenty of dolls in the first place.

This!

Exactly. The title reads as if he waltzed through the door at some family gathering and gave dolls to his nieces and nothing to his daughter. It’s ridiculous.

Why would she even know ? It’s going to be from her own parents or Santa

It's a sad world when a 6 Yr old is too old for a doll! Both my DDs loved their dolls all through primary. They learned to sew in order to make clothes for them, created room sets etc.
The AG dolls are nice in that they have realistic body shapes, unlike the unobtainable Barbie ankles. There are AG dolls to match lots of disabilities.
Sounding like an infomercial now lol, but I can't see anything objectionable about them other than the price.

Maybe he didn’t have space in his bag to carry back 3 dolls

Well he did think for himself. He thought that it wasn’t something that his daughter needed/ she would prefer having 100 plus pounds of her Christmas budget spent on something else

It sounds like he just didn’t think, rather than him being a bit of a dick.

In his head, he was going there solely to get stuff for his nieces and obviously just didn’t think.

I would let it go.

The stock photos on the website are grim. In reality, they look nothing like that and are beautiful. Originally they were just historical dolls, and each doll came with a book that was a story about the girl (represented by the doll) and her era. Each doll had a whole series of books about the era. It was a great way to introduce girls to history. The original historical line and books still exist, but they're a much smaller part of the whole thing. The most famous one is probably the ex-slave doll, Addy. It's a pity that the DH didn't get her one of the historical dolls, as they are very educational.

Are you upset that your son didn't get a special present?

I think I feel some sympathy as I’m not as thoughtful as my DW (both female) I could deffo do something like this without thinking to get my DD one. I’m also a bit tight so that wouldn’t help either

Completely unreasonable!

American girl dolls are not only very expensive £££s - there are many different types of dolls.

• girls of the year
• create your own etc
• Historical dolls

Theres tonnes of outfits and they can even get their ears pierced. As if he could just go ahead and buy a doll and not get it totally wrong.

You knew he was going to NY, why didn’t you say she would like an AGD? If you are into AGD, then you know the NY store is iconic. I’m guessing that’s why the SIL knew to ask.

AGD are also very school specific.- some schools the girls are mad for them, others have even heard of them. Probably because they are harder to get.

However, you can buy them here. There’s no issue sourcing one.
If you really wanted a doll for her Xmas and from the US- then I’m sure you would have discussed this with your DH. You didn’t, so how is this his fault?

Doesn’t read like it. Her focus is fully on the DD not getting yet another doll.

The way she words it says it all.

Why did it need to be said the SIL’s daughters’ ages and that OP thinks the doll is too old for them and better suited for her own DD?

It isn’t any of her business what her SIL gets or spends on her own children for Christmas.

FFS - that is the whole point isn't it? Why should OP be the only parent who can think about what their child might like? I fucking hate men who put no mental effort forward for their families.

😂 as in a doll is a doll
he probably looked at the price and thought ‘nah I can get this in Smyths for a tenner’

I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls.

Reads like he thought to me she had too many dolls and didn’t see the point in buying more. OP even agreed that their DD does, but thinks he should have bought another anyway.