DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

[Emsieo]

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

Blah blah blah “… Jesus is this something to comment on social media about?” (Sic)

You know you could’ve scrolled on, right?

Also I just looked up the doll and it is hideous. I don’t think I would want one even if it were free.

Nailed it. How about DS if he came back with something special from America for DD?

Honestly, this would be me too.

Different story if he’d independently picked up something for his nieces as a gift from the trip and left out your DD but that’s not what this is.

Sure it would have been nice if he’d thought about it but I wouldn’t go mad.

I wouldn't be buying an American Girl doll for anyone who hadn't specifically asked for one as they're hideous, even if i was in the store already.

American Girl Dolls are really expensive- perhaps what really happened was he decided his daughter did not need such a pricey doll.

Yeah could've, but didn't want to.

If my kid had a lot of one type of thing, I wouldn’t either and I know more about the kids toys than DH.

It tends to become more clutter that I have to remind them to clean up or do myself.

My DH has brought back NYC police cars and fire trucks for our sons but they didn’t have a lot of cars then. Definitely wouldn’t want him too now that they do have plenty of them, especially since I got rid/donated a bunch of toys they had about that they weren’t playing with and didn’t notice were gone.

Men are just really fucking thick. I could easily imagine this scenario arising with my DH.

They don't strike me as hideous but nothing special either.

Well, OP, you can get American Girl dolls here, but they’re rather expensive - https://mydollcollection.co.uk/american-girl
Perhaps if he has to buy one at these prices, next time he’ll think of his own DD.

I agree that he didn't do anything thoughtless or bad here- he brought dd a small gift and he didn't think of getting her another doll. That doesn't mean he is uncaring, in my opinion- it is disappointing as she would have liked the doll, but they are expensive, so something to mull over, perhaps.

If you want to order her an American Girl Doll, there are ways to do that (for instance, I have brought things to the UK from the US for Mumsnetters before!).

Just looked them up and they’re about £60!! Has your DD specifically expressed an interest in an American Girl doll? There’s no way I’d spend that on a doll that wasn’t sat at the very top of her Christmas list (and if it were then surely you’d have asked him to pick one up, if he didn’t already know to).

Depending on your airline, weight/size of packages can be an issue, too. Especially if you're trying to stick to cabin luggage, so that's why I wouldn't ask, not these days when you can usually buy online anyway.

He didn't buy anything for his nieces, he got the gift's on his sister's behalf. Did you specify anything he should get for your DD? If she's already got loads of dolls then he probably didn't think to get more.

Why did you marry someone you think this lowly of?

No excuse for this

Proper shitty

Does he often jump at the chance to impress other people whilst you suffer? I had a sd like that

Did he realise they were hard to get in the UK? I didn’t know this and I also have a similar aged child.

His sister asking him to get them, it’s not like he got them a gift without getting his own DC a gift.

I don't like this. Surely if you are in a cool dolls store you'd think to at least ask your DW if your daughter would like one? Or take a punt and get one anyway?

We had a mad Easter one year and my bf searched high and low to at least get my adult DSD an egg because she would be so happy. It's about thought.

Perhaps the fact that his sister gave him money to get one whilst there was a clue?

I’ve just looked at the link upthread, £65 for an outfit! For a doll

At 6, would your dd know the difference between an American doll or Design a Friend / Our Generation? I’d just buy her something like this if you want to give something similar.

So he did get his own children something.

I do think then this isn't that bad, and if your children already have dolls and nothing had previously been mentioned about getting them this specific type then I don't think he was in the wrong. I assume your kids have their own lists for Christmas?

Maybe he did think for himself & decided that she had enough dolls?

Especially if she hasn't mentioned this one(?)

I don't think this is a man thing. He bought a present from his trip for his own DC and seperately bought something specifically someone else had requested on their behalf with their money.

I wouldn't have thought to buy DD the same thing as my niece if it was me and the thing for my niece had been specifically requested.

I think you're being very U to be upset with him.

So it didn’t enter his pea brain that his own dd might like something from there. Just went in like a pre-programmed android without a thought of his own in his head.