DH didn’t get DD anything but got his nieces

[Emsieo]

This week DH was in New York on a business trip, he got back this morning. We have 2 children DS is 8 and DD is 6. He also has 2 nieces who are 2 and 4. While on his trip he went to the American Girl Doll store and got a doll for both of his nieces, he told me his SIL sent him the money and told him what to get and it’s for their Christmas. I asked if he didn’t think to get DD one and he shrugged and said doesn’t she already have loads of dolls. She does but she adores dolls and would absolutely love an American girl doll, they aren’t easy to get in the uk so she will likely never have one.
Its upset me that he made all the effort to go to a store filled with things DD would love and didn’t think to get her one for her Christmas. He says if I knew she wanted one I should have told him like SIL did. I feel as a father he should have been able to think for himself and get her one.

AIBU?

Mosf of this thread just seems crazy to me. I just cannot comprehend why some people are seeing this as "useless man" behaviour. Or worse!

I am a woman and if I had been in the DH's place I would absolutely have done the same as him. I'd have bought the dolls as asked for by the SIL in order to be helpful. However, there is no way I would have bought a big, ugly, expensive doll for my own daughter. I would probably have bought small gifts from the trip for my own children (not necessarily, tbh, depending on time constraints and whether I saw anything appropriate). I would not have consulted my DH ( I can make these decisions for myself, thank you). And if DH had gone on the trip and bought the doll I would have done some inward eye rolling.

Yes, the Our Generation dolls are cheaper, but they are also lesser quality.

For most, it isn't an issue but the hair, because of the lesser quality, doesn't stay as nice, and the vinyl is not the same quality. That said, they are very nice play dolls, especially for children who don't take care of things (which is the majority at a young age).

Gotz dolls, like Hannah and Happy Kidz cost as much as AG, but they are easy to get in the UK and difficult to get in the USA. I feel, that quality-wise, Gotz wins over all the other play dolls of that size. Sadly, they stopped making Kidz 'n Catz dolls so can only find them at secondary seller places.

Maru and Friends are beautiful and well made, but 20" tall so it's harder to get clothes, unless you can sew, as I don't know if Our Generation or AG doll clothing will fit.

I liked it years ago when there were so many makers of dolls and all were so different, yet the same size and could share clothes.

Yes, but for a child who is 6 years old and already has tons of dolls. Our generation might be a better shout than a very expensive and exclusive doll. If she's just going to grow out of playing with them in a couple of years.

One of the nieces is only two that means the doll can be kept for her.And she'll have it a while.

A six year old probably won't be brushing dolly's hair when she's eleven. So less than five years out of such an expensive toy.

Not every child needs an expensive doll costing three figures. I had quite a cheap plastic doll when I was a child and I absolutely loved her. What on earth do you think the children get whose parents can't afford these toys? Lower quality doesn't mean the child lost their doll any less. Thats an adult imposing those standards.

I find so bizarre about this thread.Is that the original poster has not given any indication that her daughter asked for another doll for christmas at all, let alone an american girl doll. Her husband probably made the right shout.But here are all the adults.Looking up even more expensive or equivalent dolls for something rhis child hasn't even asked for.

I agree the useless man comments seem incongruous. It sounds like this company has clever marketing. Like plenty of other places, build a bear springs to mind and it was ty plushies when my kids were small which had names and birthdays. I'm sure there were limited edition ones my daughter would have covered from America or wherever. But it doesn't mean she was deprived by not having one, and if someone had asked me to pick up a giant ty unicorn with super duper accessories for £££ on my business trip I would have done but wouldn't have immediately thought that it would be a good idea to get DD one too, and make it her main Christmas present. Especially if she might rather have had the penguin or whatever if she'd been there to choose and I'd temporarily taken leave of my senses enough to give her free rein.

It's massive projection to think OP's DD is missing out on some childhood staple by not having one of these particular brands of doll, which are presumably only coveted in the UK because of social media. And to build it up into a narrative that the OP's DH doesn't care enough about his DD to buy one, is just proof of how commercialism can get out of hand.

Jellycat is the next big thing. Retirements, limited editions, gloclbal exclusives.

I bought the Steepy Teabag as a niece wanted it and I happened to see it. But £25 for that shred of fabric hardly seems worth it.

People are going crazy to get hold of this limited release jelly cat though.

I can understand your disappointment, op. But these are really expensive dolls and as previous posters have said, they probably require a bit of planning beforehand as there are so many of them. They’re really pretty dolls though, and if I were a young girl again, I’d love them! Can you order one from the UK?
I know I’m probably missing the point, but this imo is an even nicer doll.

He’s an arse. My husband has been on loads of trips and managed to bring back lovely presents for me and the children because he pays attention to us.

OP's husband did bring home gifts...

Another one who hasn't read the thread

I’ve shown it to some of my friend who found it quite funny, so maybe it’s you who needs a personality transplant.

Are you in the book of world records then, as the shortest woman ever measured was still 24”. 😂

They do come in very large and bulky boxing though, part of why I said he was probably regretting agreeing to pick them up for SIL.

I'm an adult collector. Here's one of my AG boy dolls being really naughty! 🤣

As a collector, I have some Gotz dolls and they're lovely.

If he got dd a doll then would need to find something for DS as well

A flasher! I am so embarrassed! I love that there are more boy dolls being made now.

I think they are stunning! I love their eyes, hair and face shape/look.

Unfortunately, not far off.

His sister gave him an errand to run for her while he was away. Which frankly is always a pain when you're away, but you feel obliged to these things when you're lucky enough to be somewhere cool.

He wasn't buying the dolls for his nieces, he was buying them for his sister, with her money, so the OP was poorly worded.

Also the dolls were for Christmas presents. The things he bought for DD as trip trinkets were fine, and proportionate.

I would have been furious with him tbh and I DGAF if that’s unreasonable. American Girl dolls were the absolute pinnacle of dolls when my dd was that age. I wonder if those sneering at your upset know that the dolls have multiple hair colour/style/eye colour combos so they actually look like the child getting it? That’s why little girls love them so much.

We actually made it to NYC and she chose one - looks just like her ❤️ - and an outfit in her early teens.

And as ever the poll shows how people actually think rather than the MN professional sneerers, which is always nice to see.

I don't see that much sneering tbh and I'm normally the first to call it out. But not everyone agrees that DH has done anything particularly wrong.

Over £200 on those plastic my little cloney dolls?! You're welcome to them.

I disagree they are the pinnacle of dolls. They're bloody ugly. The colonial garb ones are the worst.

Haha ok I take it back that last post was quite sneery 😆

But I have two Dds and had genuinely never heard of them.

I'm not getting much sneering. But from the poll I'm going to guess that some people fell for the inaccurate title, and missed the bit about this being an errand for his sister, and that he didn't buy the drums FOR his nieces. He bought them for his sister, with her money, as she wants them as her Christmas present to her daughters.

He was simply doing a favour for his sister, he was not buying his nieces gifts from him.

I still think he should have got one for his own daughter, even with all that in mind.

i think what drives my thinking is that my children’s father is a useless twat and always puts others before them. Eg he came back from a long term business trip with presents for his bosses children and not his own because “I’ll just get them something when I see them!” When he saw them he took my little dd to the Disney shop - money no object apparently 🙄 and then got impatient when the she was too overwhelmed to pick something from all the masses of choice.

I personally, in his situation, would have bought the dolls for my sister and looked at them and thought, they’re lovely, I’ll get one for dd too, she will want one especially if she sees her cousins with one each”. Why didn’t he think that? Why is the standard always lower for fathers?