Petty issue now a big issue, because he swore on my deathbed

[ILoveHolidaysAbroad]

We had an anniversary recently. I bought my gift for him well in advance. He went to Asda on the day and clobbered together a gift bag of stuff. All nice enough, but I did mention it was a bit late in the day. One of the gifts was pyjamas. He swore they'd been in his boot for a week. I raised and eyebrow and he swore on my deathbed. Well, today I have found the receipt in the bottom of a bag and he was lying, he did buy them on the day. I now care more about the lying than the fact he bought stuff on the day. Would this bother anyone else?

No. I've more important things to worry about. Seems pretty petty to me. Move on.

I wouldn't have been rooting around looking for the receipt. If you go looking for something to be pissed off about you'll probably find it.

It doesn't matter when he bought them. Are they nice? If not at least you've got the receipt to return them.

He shouldn't have lied, you shouldn't have been interrogating him over a gift - you got pajamas, ON your birthday - what did it matter what day he bought them? (If you thought pajamas were a crap gift, tell him what you really want next time.) His swearing on YOUR death bed is weird and a little creepy.

So you would all be ok with your DH swearing on your life when it was a lie?

I just would never do that!

He shouldn't have lied. You shouldn't have checked up.

For future anniversaries, just be clear with each other what the budget is, if any, and let it go.

I wish this was my greatest problem OP.

How could he swear on your deathbed, unless you’re actually currently on your deathbed, in which case gifts will be the least of your concerns?
What very weird phrasing.

It’s ridiculous it even came to that! Why nots just say thank you for the gifts, why care when the got them?

I’ve never heard that saying before.

Why does it matter? You got gifts and you liked them
Swearing on peoples lives is just absolute bullshit tho

I wouldn't be ok with him lying. You seem to be most upset that he swore on your life - I wouldn't be bothered about that, because I'm an adult.

You could probably solve this by having a conversation about lying, and then moving on.

I really don’t like lying but then I also don’t like drama and there seems to be a lot here (over a pair of pajamas).

He got you a gift and gave you it on the appropriate day, and you complained so much that he felt he had to lie about when it was purchased.

Swearing on someone's life/deathbed is utterly meaningless, nothing is going to happen because he said it.

You sound ungrateful, as if PJs mean more if they are bought 5 days in advance.

You know swearing on something doesn't actually mean anything? It's not a magic spell that makes lying impossible.

It's pjs, does it matter when he bought them?

"Swearing on your life" is just a phrase. It doesn't actually mean anything and it isn't as if your life is somehow at risk because he lied.

He shouldn't have lied, of course. But equally, you shouldn't have made a fuss about when the gifts were purchased. You got them on your anniversary so why make such a big deal of it.

Fault on both sides as far as I can see. If you want to celebrate many more anniversaries together, then you both need to start behaving like normal functioning grown-ups imo.

Olivia Von Halle PJs bought on the day. Not a problem.Even with fibs.
Asda plus lying. LTB.

You are getting caught up in ridiculous things that don’t matter.

If you are feeling that your DH doesn’t value you then address that.

He shouldn't have lied, but in the grand scheme of things a lie about when you bought pyjamas isn't something I could get worked up about.

He should have put a bit more effort into your gift.

Swearing on people's deathbeds is something primary school children do. You absolutely shouldn't be married to a tween. Considering his mental age I'd be pleased that he got himself to Asda and bought some nice bits tbh.

Because if he swears on my life about stuff that isn't true, how can I ever know what he is saying is the truth or not? I absolutely hate lying and I never do it myself.

Has he done something else to annoy you recently? Only it sounds an awful lot like you've gone looking for a reason to start an argument and then it's spiralled from there. I've lost count of the number of times I've bought people's birthday presents or DH's anniversary presents on the day (or the day before) rather than weeks in advance. You like to do it ahead of time, he doesn't. You still get the same gift though. It doesn't mean any less.

So when he's bought you your present you've had a 'gotcha' conversation about the fact that he's bought it on the day instead of at least 5 working days in advance. And if he'd said 'yes I bought it on the day' presumably you'd have been annoyed about it instead of saying 'I'm glad you were honest with me, thank you for my gift, it's lovely'?

And so now you've gone hunting for the evidence you need to say 'Ah ha! Gotcha' again because now the fact that he lied is all-important, rather than when he bought the present.

You're not exactly making things easy for each other, are you?

I wouldn't tolerate anybody who would swear something on anybody's life except their own. I have no idea what "swearing on someone's deathbed" means

Lack of effort, care and a lie? Nah.

The immaturity of saying "i swear on your life" would give me the ick

This in abundance.
Not everyone places huge significance on anniversaries

Say, for example, if I ask him about something really important next week, how can I trust what he tells me? It's not about the pyjamas, it's about lying with such ease. And for the PP who said I shouldn't have rooted around for the receipt, I didn't, it was in the bottom of a bag with several other receipts, I pulled them all out to bin them.