Husband and Lindor

[Clementina49er]

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight

Are you expecting a medal?

If my partner told me what I was/wasn't allowed to eat from the bloody supermarket shop, I'd think he was mad.

Why then did she make reference to his weight in her OP?

If you read my initial response, I did in fact say it would be Ok to say ‘please don’t eat my chocolate’. It is the reference to his weight and his eating like a pig that I found very rude and in the context then of limiting his intake, very controlling.

One a day - Jesus Christ.

I know you’re married but is this chocolate coming out of joint household expenses or out of your own money that is put aside for you to buy what you want. In which case I see no reason why you can’t put it in a personal safe place. I know people say you shouldn’t have to, but clearly you should (or they get eaten). A bit like you wouldn't put bottles of wine in a place accessible to an alcoholic. Poor eating impulse can be a form of addiction.

I’ve made myself feel sick before over eating too much chocolate, it’s not that unusual. Was your laugh lighthearted or contemptuous? Plenty of people make themselves sick through drinking too much booze, which is much worse in my book.

I think you don’t like your husband (may well be justified) and that’s the real issue.

She doesn’t have to control how he consumes his half though, does she? She’s annoyed that he’s scoffing all of his share, then starting on hers, so she’s just controlling her fair share by removing it from his reach.

And I can eat just one chocolate, same as all the other PP’s who also can eat just one a day have said upthread…

She didn't say that to him though, she just wrote it.

She can't help what she thinks. You might find it rude thinking someone is overweight, I would only maybe think it rude if she actually said it.

I'd hide them in my knicker drawer. Problem solved.

Wilko?!

I make no comment

😂

This. If you want to savour your favourite chocolate, keep it hidden. But don't shame him.

I don't need to hide anything, but if I did, I'd put it under the spare hoover bags.

Sounds like you’ve got the ick, OP.
Theres no going back.

Go back to hiding the chocolate, it's the only way OP.

YANBU at all.

I understand the comments saying it’s no way to talk to an adult, but to me his actions are no way for an adult to behave.

There’s plenty of other stuff he could eat instead but he doesn’t. He takes the one thing you have bought because you like it, he eats so much there’s none left for you when you go for some and he doesn’t replace it. That’s childishly greedy and thoughtless.

tell him to get on mounjaro

This thread made me buy 3kg of Lindor off the Lindt website.

@BunnyLake

actually I would say it was rare for an adult to eat so much chocolate that they make themselves sick. Obviously amongst the population of people with an ED it might be more prevalent but just typical regular people- no.

@BauhausOfEliott

do you go around binging on all food your partner has bought himself though?

@Screamingabdabz

has it occurred to you that some people’s food budget is tight and a treat like a box of Lindor is a treat and not something to be scoffed mindlessly in one go? That not everyone has the money to just go buy more cos their spouse is greedy and has no self control?

I said feel sick not actually vomiting, but where you say urgh I shouldn’t have had that last bit of chocolate. Yes I have done that a few times in my adult life, I’ve never had an ED. A cup of tea is very good for cancelling out that over indulgent feeling though.

You've got far too much chocolate in the house, it's too much of a temptation. Limit yourselves to one bar a week as a treat.

@IsItWickedNotToCare

Or…he can just control himself like the adult he is is?

not every version of the lindor boxes come in bar form. Why should OP have to sacrifice the type she really wants just cos of her greedy husband?

It’s not very sexy all this is it, he would proper give me the ick

It's a bit ridiculous and erre on pandering, but if money is no option and you really want a solution. Try when next buying a treat to buy double. Clearly state theres a yours and a his portion. If he still binges the lot with zero remorse then he's just an arsehole I'm afraid and it's unlikely he'll ever change.

You are being ridiculously controlling.