Husband and Lindor

[Clementina49er]

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

No it’s not tongue in cheek. I actually do this occasionally. What’s shocked me is I’ve had more than one person declare me as ‘not normal’ and ‘eating disorder’. Yet not one person has jumped on anyone in the same way where they declare ‘can’t stop myself’ ‘box gone in one day’ etc etc. to me, that’s an eating disorder. Maybe I am a bit unusual, but I’m just me. They split perfectly down the middle btw for anyone who’s interested and hadn’t noticed - like a little egg. So you get two halves (if you’re ‘weird’ like me and fancy having two chances of the lovely chocolate taste)

OMG! I need this. I also need £200 to buy it. Fellow chocolate lovers, can you imagine receiving this as a present?

I can never read these threads without thinking of my FIL who bought my DH some chocolates for his birthday. And then asked him to get the box out and share them round after dinner that night. I protested that birthday gifts of posh chocolates were not sharing fodder, but exclusive to the birthday celebrant and offered some-still nice- chocolate instead. Wouldn’t be deflected ! My poor DH!

OP, the only socially acceptable option with your treats is to hide them and eat them at your own pace. In the interests of harmony. You are NBU to want your chocolate, when you want it, without having to race your husband for it.

but you do sound like you dislike him rather - maybe rein that in if you want to stay married, eh?

Well, she noticed there weren’t many left and predicted the box would soon be empty based on his previous form. So, enough of a binge OF HER CHOCOLATES to be bloody annoying to her.

😂😂 indeed.

Perplexed by whoever is voting you as being unreasonable. If it’s your chocolate, it’s yours to share or not. He can go to the effort of getting his own if he needs a fix. All those people who are saying you’re unreasonable would presumably be outraged if he’d eaten chocolate you were bought as a present for Easter or Christmas - what’s the difference between that and a present you’ve bought for yourself?

I find all the posts saying she's treating him like a toddler very strange indeed. What's the poor woman to do?
She's told him that she doesn't mind him having one of her chocolates a day, but doesn't want him to eat them all in a day or two.
The problem is the husband. She's dong her best to be reasonable, but he's not responding. If he keeps behaving like a toddler, eventually she will have to speak to him like a toddler. That's what his behaviour enforces.

IMO , if someone is overweight and eating too much bad food, it's the job of the partner to point it out. It's not like they're social aquaintances.

Err, wouldn't it be lovely of life was that simple? I think the OP's problem is not that her husband has a sweet tooth, but that he's making himself sick by guzzling far too much bad food. Surely you realise that obesity is a disease?

I think if it could be solved with a conversation, then OP would not have a problem. The fact is that his behaviour is not reasonable. She's trying to be reasonable, firstly, by saying nothing when he takes them, secondly , by asking him to limit his consumption. For some reason, beyond my understanding, some people think this is 'controlling' behaviour. Personally, think OP is controlled, not controlling.

Frustrating that he's eating all your chocolate? Yes. Limiting to one a day? Far too restrictive. Can't you share it equally between you? Once his half has gone tell him the rest is yours 😅 seems a lot more fair (and a lot less controlling).
I can imagine if it was a man telling his wife "only one" they'd be outrage.

I could have written this op. Honestly, my greedy husband does my head in. Earlier this week I brought home some chocolate biscuits a friend bought me from her holiday. There were 6 in total. The kids and him had one on Monday. Today I got to try one and they are all gone. He's eaten the remaining 3. Didn't pause for a second to consider that I hadn't had one. They were big too - sort of whoppee pie things.

He is 4 stone overweight and the meals we have are generally healthy. But he works from home and basically truths the kitchen like an all inclusive holiday. He has terrible habits. He will skip lunch and have half a packet of biscuits and some toast instead. He opens the fridge and just kindly takes stuff out. I once found him eating a box of croutons because he couldn't fine anything else.

Don't get me started on him doing the shopping. He will come back with boxes of Pringles, cans of fizzy drinks, ice cream. Like a 14 year old!

We come to blows about it a lot. I loose me temper with him constantly snacking and his inability to grow up and just eat 3 decent meals a day along with a reasonably sized 'treat'. Like watching him slowly eat himself to death. He doesn't exercise either and I just wish he'd take some pride in himself. He has a few health issues that I think are exacerbated by his terrible eating too. I think YANBU .

Those saying YABU either haven't read the OP properly or are fortunate enough to not have snack fiends for husbands.

Mine unfortunately is of the same vein. Once his snacks are gone or he doesn't fancy what he's got left he'll go for mine and the kids'. I don't mind for the generic snacks, but "special" treats are firmly off limits. I'll happily share, but once his share is gone, my share is still mine. I wouldn't even dream of touching his stuff. I won't even ask if I can have one. If he wants to share with me he will, but I won't make him obligated.

Luckily for me he learned his lesson years ago about not going after my special stuff. I have 4 younger siblings, so I fully admit I have a resulting possessiveness over "special" treats. Back then, while anyone who purposely stole would be punished, once it was gone it was gone. There wasn't enough money (certainly no pocket money) to replace what has been taken.

Until he learned his lesson, as I also do the vast majority of the shopping, the injustice stung that little bit more when I'd gone to all the effort of getting it in to barely get a taste of it. Sure I could buy more, but getting to and from the shop would take the better part of an hour out of my day by itself.

As with a PP, if he goes shopping himself, he'll come back with all kinds of crap. Rare are the times he'll bring back anything we actually need without needing to be asked to buy it.

Haven't read the whole thread, but where are you with a trading Wilco?

This isn’t about the Lindor - you are put off and disgusted by his obesity and eating habits which sound like symptoms of laziness and lack of care for his health. This is why you had such a disproportionate reaction to a few balls of chocolate.

I'm a size 8 and if I open a box of chocolates, they're gone in 2 sittings (and those 2 sittings might be on the same day!)
But why are you buying so many boxes of chocolates when your husband has a sweet tooth and is overweight? I'd be supporting him to eat a bit better, by buying myself an individual treat every now and again instead - like an individual chocolate bar or single cupcake - not a whole box that then sits there tempting him the whole time.

Next box of Lindor you get, also buy a bag of sprouts and some cooking chocolate.
cover the sprouts in chocolate and wrap them in the Lindor wrappers and put the box of sprouty chocs in the cupboard.
cling film the actual Lindors and put them in a tampon box.

My kids once wrapped a cherry tomato in a lindor wrapper, it was initially disappointing but very funny

Just tell him if he finished your chocolate he need to replace them.

you can’t tell a grown man how much chocolate to eat. Stop buying communal
chocolate if he scarfs it.

mine has to replace any of my treats he eats I’m not letting him get away with finishing my goodies all the time without replacement otherwise it becomes a habit.

and I don’t believe In hiding food

You both need to buy your own chocolate and eat it as you wish. YABVU to want to control another adult's chicolate consumption.
My DP buys me chocolate as gifts then complains how quickly I eat it. That's how I enjoy it. A big treat all at once - not spread out over 2 weeks. I'm not concerned that it's all gone - I enjoyed my treat.

Being of the “can’t stop myself” type (though not with Lindor chocolate as I don’t like it), I can only admire your self-restraint.

This kind of petty nonsense is what happens when people have separate finances - "my chocolate, your chocolate" like 4 year-olds. Sounds so depressing.

Can’t get past you snapping only one a day - that is a weird way to talk to an adult and you sound overbearing

My DH is like a crack addict when it comes to sweet stuff. I feel your pain OP.

The approach I take when it's 'my' chocolate (eg a gift if posh Belgians) I just firmly state 'these are mine. They are special. I'd like to enjoy them. Please don't scoff them all before I get a chance. I don't want to have to neck them all in one sitting just because everyone else can't show a bit of retstraint (or buy their own )'

It usually (mostly ) works to shame him into curbing his sugar addiction at the expense of my chocolate. My DD and I used to find ingenious hiding places to protect our choccie 😀

And to those saying not to treat him like a child - maybe he should stop behaving like one ? And it's very selfish to scoff all of the sweet stuff without sharing. Just rude.

I’ve hidden chocolate before because I don’t want to share any of it with anyone. Rather than saying you can’t have any or you can only have one I’d rather just put it away quietly. For chocolate I don’t mind sharing I will keep out in the open (and not monitor).