‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

Total CF!

Buy some chicken breasts/thighs and chuck them in when you cook the rest. Yes - it is annoying but don't make a massive issue. I had a boyfreind like this is he didn't last long but ate the same things for every single breakfast lunch and dinner. I now realise it's disordered eating but just easier to go with it.

YANBU. Outrageous to expect you to cook him pork chops on top of all the other hosting you're doing.

I will bend over backwards to accommodate if people have legitimate health needs, or if they are committed veggies/vegans, but I would not lift a finger to accommodate someone with some ridiculous faddy meat only diet.

I can understand not eating potatoes, but if he doesn't eat any vegetables he'll get scurvy.

Tell sil to bring him his own cooked chicken.. And mean it.

Aside from not being enthralled with the idea of watching someone chow down on a plate ‘piled high with meat’, the bottom line is you cater how you want to in your house, she does what she wants in hers.

I might stick an extra chicken breast in for him but that’s it. Tell your sister to either bring her pork chops cooked or not at all.

Did she actually say "mega gym bunny" 🫣🫠
Good grief what nonsense, you go to someone's for Sunday roast you only mention if you're veggie or vegan or allergies not a preference for the most expensive part of the meal!
I think what you've said is fine tbh. This must happen to him all the time.

I imagine bf would most likely feel awkward knowing someone he doesn't know has been told to cater particularly for him in their own home - most people would! Even if he is on a cut, he would eat veg anyway alongside the meat so just ignore and serve as normal.

I think you were rude. If a guest was GF surely you’d cater for them, I don’t see how this is any different? Just buy a bit extra meat so there’s enough to go round.

some people have a specific diet, either for gym or a requirement. I wouldnt expect people to cater it last minute though, and she should have said ages ago, but I feel like this post is a bit of an overreaction, because you don’t know everything…

nope. Don't go out of your way to accommodate such a silly request.

It is up to him if he doesn't want to eat the rest, but he doesn't get to hog more meat, or have OP go to extra expense on his account.

TBH in OPs shoes i'd have said: you get what you're given, stop at KFC on the way home if you're still hungry. Or disinvited him.

People who are on a cut typically don’t eat veg that’s been smothered in butter/honey etc as typical with a nice roast.

What a twat your sister is being (SIS is short for sister right? Mumsnet language still confuses me!)

You'd hope your niece has chosen a decent man, who even if he doesn't want all the trimmings he will except a couple and eat them politely or at the very least not demand a couple of pork chops are fried for him on demand and or not eat everyone else portions of meat. If he does expect and do that I'd hope he does feel unwelcome and calls it off with your niece and she'll have a lucky escape.

I imagine your sister is just venting her nervousness around the boyfriend meeting the family and she's panicking and taking it out on you. Tell her to stop being a twat and pre-warn the boyfriend it's going to be a regular Sunday lunch. He doesn't have to eat potatoes, but veg will do him no harm whatsoever!

The difference is a gluten allergy or celiac disease isn’t something someone chooses

Loads of people don't smother all their veg in butter and honey.

I don’t think hosting is for you 😂

Might not be his fault. He might have said I’d rather not go because I only eat meat and his gf and/or her mum thought they could sort it by explaining to you.
Hopefully they bring him some cooked extras and all is well. Otherwise I’d probably pre load the plates with a normal amount of meat and put the sides on the table.

Plenty of people are gluten free for lifestyle reasons, I know several.

How many of you are eating? Surely 2 chickens and a gammon between 6 adults would allow him to have extra meat?? I also think it's probably not literally a towering plate of meat he's expecting, just a few extra slices. I'd not have made an issue out of it personally.
Do you and your sister just not get on generally?

YABU. You could have just said yes that's fine. Who cares if he doesn't eat any of the sides? You'd assume he wouldn't be rude enough to take so much meat that there wasn't any for anyone else so why does it matter?

He might be in training for something, of which diet is very important.
They have given plenty of notice, not sure what else she could have done.

Your “lighthearted response” was probably more passive agressive. Why not just send a grown-up response of “we are doing x, y & z .. do you think this will be ok” instead of trying to be funny, as causing drama ?

If he's piling his plate high with meat then that's gonna cost way more than a plate of potatoes and veg!
He should either bring some of his own meat or even a pudding to offset the cost.

People who are “on a cut” shouldn’t accept an invitation to Sunday lunch, then.

Really? I thought it’s fairly typical for a roast to be indulgent beyond just plain steamed veggies?

Exactly..it doesn't even sound like it was a request, more of a jokey comment or a heads up you don't need to cater for him with veg.