‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

I don't think there's anything embarrassing about a text 'looking forward to meeting you on Sunday, planning is there anything I need to know about your likes/dislikes?'

There's enough for him to have a quarter of a chicken and some slices of gammon - so that's fine.

I would think 'piled high with meat' is just a saying.

An extra chicken leg (thigh and drumstick) roasted alongside will cost you £1.

Just carve the meat, serve out in normal portions so that everyone gets a fair share. And add his extra leg.

You have turned this into an embarrassing battle.

Probably irrelevant, but I find the idea of a diet of mostly meat really repellent. I enjoy eating meat but not for every meal and I also love all forms of vegetables, including potatoes. A diet with no veg sounds extremely unhealthy, especially for the bowels.

Aside this crazy request, I would gently tell her he is absolutely not good husband material - to be so self-absorbed that his future mother-in-law is aware of his dietary requirements? Well, there is self-care and then there is self-centredness to a degree which makes a man unsuitable to be engaged to and married to subsequently. What if times are hard in the future? What if finances in the future are such that their family will only have money to buy meat for the children only? What, will he eat up all the meat? Does he know the cost of meat, good meat these days? So, proportionally, will their family food budget be like 90% for him, plates piled high with meat and 10% her and their future children? Or is he Mr Moneybags with family trust(S because plural) and they will never have to worry about money? I don't understand.

I'd be happy to accommodate this and would include some extra ungarnished meat into the catering arrangements, but I'd be warning my sister that if Mr Carnivore utters one word about vegetables being anti-nutrients or carbs being literal poison while he's under my roof he'll be getting his arse handed to him on a plate, with a sprig of parsley on top. (I've had plenty of practice with my own accidentally home-grown vegans.) And also, if necessary, warning my parents that I don't want them making digs about what the lad is eating.

I don't think someone following this kind of diet strictly would eat chipolatas, but I do think between you and SIL you've made this a much bigger issue than it is.

He's accepted an invitation to a family Sunday lunch, he won't be expecting you to cater specially for him.

You need to pile his plate high with meat.

Also provide a bowl of cold water with ice in at his place setting, and ensure the cold water plunge is filled up, and set the clocks to 4am and remove the batteries.

That’s plenty for 11 people, around 5kg of meat between 2 large chickens and a gammon joint.

I think I’d have just bought some more meat tbh. Your probably overthinking though a lot of DH’s family are big eaters and only eat meat and potatoes I’ve never run out of food.

You're not being unreasonable, but as a one off I'd just shove some extra chicken in the oven. I can't imagine he'd actually expect to pile his plate with meat and she was just exaggerating.

Better to simply steam vegetables as retain more vitamins.

I think you win the prize for longest reach of the week

He's on Atkins. Or body building. Make him a protein shake 😀

I’d do as asked, I would want someone to feel welcome. I don’t tend to judge people by the contents of their plate.

Not to mention the constipation...

So what if he’s training for an event or is on a cut? He has the choice to decline the invitation or to go along and just eat a normal roast dinner. My BIL is a meat fiend and takes far more meat than he needs at Sunday dinners. He has NO veg but does have Yorkies and spuds. He doesn’t even go to the gym, he’s just greedy and unhealthy 😂 I think that if the guest wants a whole plate of meat and are likely to need quite a lot of it, then it would be polite of them to bring some extra meat for themselves. Catering for allergies or vegans is different. This is just a preference, whether it is related to training or not.

Plate up the meat & stuffing, and leave veggies to serve.
Give everyone the same portion and they csn choose the extras.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable!

It’s all very well people having dietary requirements, but it’s not all very well for one person to expect to hog all the objectively “best” or most expensive aspect of the meal - which the meat is generally considered to be. (I don’t eat meat but this is how it’s generally considered - meat or a veggie alternative is considered the main element of the meal, the centrepiece).

There’s also a limit to how much meat there can be in total as the bigger the cut the more oven space it will take up.

As for asking you to fry some pork chops at the same time as cooking a roast, I’m lost for words. It would be better to shove in a few extra drumsticks for him if anything, but there’s no way that frying meat should be added to the complexities already inherent in doing a roast.

As an aside, I would not be having any truck with attempts to “help”. I have this sign across the entrance to my kitchen for these sort of occasions!

No, but I'm sure we'll soon smell them!!

All of those saying It's unhealthy and bad for the gut and very restrictive etc-is he not just on a cut?

I work out, nowhere near competitive level but if I am on a cut I restrict carbs hugely, but anyone cutting doesn't do it allll the time? Vegetables (especially the starchy ones often involved in a roast, which may or may not be braised with something and may or may not require gravy) have carbs too.

I doubt he eats this way constantly unless he's on one of those crazy carnivore diets.

I mean, given the choice I might quite like an entire plate of roast potatoes and gravy but that would be rude and weird as a guest.

I'm torn. I sort of agree with you, in that the responses would be very different if the BF was vegan. I personally won't cater for vegans so I do understand where the OP is coming from, just from the other side. The double standard is what annoys me.

Surely, the BF out of politeness would eat a few veggies and not expect to follow the carnivore thing 100% of the time.

Has he told SIS that this is all he will eat on the Sunday or is she assuming?

In this case, I would plate everyone's meat up and then let them pick what they wants from the remaining veg and sides

I really like your style. Clear, direct, assertive. Well done. Stand your ground.

My brother went through that stage and it was expensive feeding him, as he'd eat so much meat! I'd ask them to bring his own whole cooked chicken and pork chops, as there won't be enough to pile high on his plate. Not sure why he and his girlfriend thinks people would accommodate this request?! Bit cheeky if you ask me! 😜