‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

There are 8 of you and you are cooking 2 chickens and a gammon joint? That's a lot anyway, I am sure he can cope with vegetables even if he doesn't eat potatoes.

OP you don’t know if it’s your sister or the boyfriend being an arse. It may well be your sister!

What on earth?!!! Both my DSs (25 & 17) would love to have a plate piled high with meat, but there is no way I would allow that. What were his parents thinking, bringing up to think that is fine? Ridiculous. He can eat like that in his own kitchen, but not in someone else’s.

au contraire, mate, i host a lot. My friends aren't twats who would spout nonsense like this though (and generally before entertaining among our group the cry goes out "bring tupperware there will be leftovers") so this wouldn't actually happen.

I'm fine for people to absolutely stuff their faces when i host. I am absolutely not fine with people adding to my cooking burden.

and plenty of gym mad type people wouldn't have the Yorkshires or potatoes, so what? Don't ask her to bring cooked meat, how embarrassing for everyone if she does, mainly you though. If there are 2 chickens and gammon there's plenty.

What did the voice note say?

So they only suggested the pork chops because you said he couldn't have just meat/there wouldn't be enough? Who the hell are you? The food police?
Just let the chap eat what he wants... Doesn't mean he's going to eat ALL the meat... Just that he'll ONLY have meat right?!
If she hadn't said anything upfront would you challenge him at the table when he didn't have any veg etc?!

I have a family member who only eats meat. Personally I think it’s the easiest thing to cater for - especially when doing a roast. I have a couple of vegetarians and a vegan and I happily cater for them, but it isn’t as quick and painless as just cooking a bit more meat on top of what I would already be cooking.

Unless you are struggling financially and that is obviously more difficult to cater for. Can you explain that to your sister? A lot of places do higher welfare meat that’s cheaper than free-range/organic.

Warn everyone quietly that they need to get a good helping of meat each as there might not be any seconds left. Try to make sure everyone has a decent amount and he can have what’s left.

”Sorry gfs parents I actually can’t come to meet your sister as I’m on a cut”?

Or, just be welcoming and buy a slightly larger chicken. When I read the way some people behave on mumsnet it doesn’t surprise me there’s often so much beef with in laws etc.

I would do as she asked assuming you can afford an extra joint of meat or chicken , for sake of arguing & I want people to feel happy and relaxed in my home . My dad ( not a gym bunny ) only eats meat and potatoes so he naturally gets more than others , it’s just not a big deal for me . Appreciate that it’s my dad and not a first time visitor.
But I would accommodate the request , & that’s coming from a vegetarian!
I also think you’re being a bit precious , not allowing her to cook the extra if she’s prepared to bring it , but I’m aware I’m no doubt in the minority with this opinion .

Reply with "Hi SIS, we'll come to you then. See you about 2pm, we'll be starving. Oh, and make sure there's plenty of Vino"
😁

I would just buy a bit extra to accommodate him this time as its a bit of a celebration, and only invite him to BBQs in future.

Bollocks. 🙄 Mega gym bunny.
Although, I understand not eating the potatoes.

But vegan is and you'd expect that to be catered for?

My issue here is the cost of meat and how much he is expecting to eat. Fine just taking the meat and not having the potatoes - but loading your plate high and expecting someone else to pay for it is a bit much

My bet is the BF knows nothing of this conversation and would be mortified if he did.

11- ME, DH, DSIS, BIL, DN, BF my DM and DF, my three adult sons
Was going to do 2 extra large chickens
Piece gammon

Why can you just dish up the meat for everyone’s portion as normal, and then when he says no thanks to potatoes say “no problem John you’re welcome to the rest of the chicken”?

I've never had butter or honey on my vegetables. Didn't realise this was a thing.

Don't blame the boyfriend, this is coming from SIL. Ignore her, serve everyone their share of the meet and put the side dishes on the table along with the leftover meat.

Cheeky bastards, your house isn’t a Toby Carvery. In fact do they not even restrict meats? I think you’re fine to tell your sister that everyone needs to get some meat so there won’t be the opportunity to “pile his plate high” with that. And then plate up the meat so the stupid prick doesn’t get to just snaffle it. Bollocks would I be accommodating this nonsense.

to me it is more about the assumption that OP can just buy and provide more meat.

What happens if the boyfriend is a real hog and just scarfs down most of the meat before anyone else has maybe had a chance at 2nds, or trying one of the other types of meat? OP doesn't know him, and of course he may be really polite and not do that. But given the way a lot of people are, she can't discount that.

I find it the height of rudeness to say "on a cut, give me more meat" as a guest, especially as a first time guest. In that case you decline, or you just eat meat and supplement as soon as you leave?

I'd happily just buy a bigger/another joint, if the joints are already purchased chuck some extra chicken legs/breasts/chops in the oven. Its really no big deal, especially when DSis has offered to being the chops.

Can’t listen at work but leaving in 15 will update then
it’s a loooonnggg one

Butter, honey, steam? You don't just whack some frozen broccoli and carrots in a saucepan for 10 minutes? I always do a cauliflower cheese and maybe some mashed suede, but butter and honey is just for Christmas round here! 😄