‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

I think you were being rude but I suspect I’m in the minority. My mum isn’t vegetarian but rarely eats meat, I know if I’m having her over I have to make a couple of vegetarian bits as she will avoid meat where possible and is our guest. Similarly, I know when I have certain male family members over for dinner, I have to increase the amount of meat on offer because they have ‘healthy’ appetites and there are certain kids who I know won’t eat veg so when they come over I have to increase the carb offerings. If you’re inviting guests, I think it’s rude not to accommodate their preferences within reason. Your Sil offered to bring the extra meat to accommodate. To ask her to bring it cooked is silly as it won’t taste great reheated.

Yanbu. Demanding a plateful of the most expensive part of a meal is madness tbh, and obviously having someone frying chops while you're busy on the other hobs/trying to get in and out the oven is a silly idea.

fuck that, leftovers are for me later or on the table for everyone. Not one person on their own because they are following some kind of diet. (and before anyone jumps: there would be no "oh you have all the carrots/broccoli/artichokes/roasties" for people who don't eat meat.

My ds talks about when he goes to his girlfriend’s house for dinner he needs to eat “hard” broccoli 🤣. But he does without complaint, and thanks them because he was raised to be polite and knows it is just one meal that isn’t exactly to his taste.

Hopefully it is just your SIL fussing over him rather than him being demanding (otherwise I feel for your niece having an arse with no manners for a finance)

I have friends who don't eat vegetable apart from potatoes. When they come round for lunch, I still do veggies for everyone else and I serve lunch on platters for people to help themselves to. I don't plate up for anyone and it's never been a problem. I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

I have a large and greedy family. I often do a tray of chicken drumsticks alongside a roast for extra. I started years ago at Christmas to stop them fighting over the 2 legs. It is rude to turn up at somebodies house and expect 40% of the meat when you are only 9% of the guests, but it’s also rude to not do a little extra meat for someone who you know isn’t going to fill up on spuds and you can’t control his (or sis) expectations and you can control your meal.

Ask for BF's details and discuss his dietary requirements with him directly.

My guess is he'll say just do what you'd planned and he'll eat around that, and not tell you he'll also eat before and after he comes.

I think anyone who "needs" a lot of food, and is fussy about it would eat before attending a family dinner and/or when they get home.

But there’s no indication he’s going to be rude. It’s unclear whether he even knows this has been said.

Anyway, the situation is on the OP to manage as host and if she really doesn’t want to buy extra chicken, she can just dole out everyone’s portion first and then offer the leftovers as extra. It’s really not a big deal and not worth making a new member of the family unwelcome over.

We must be a particularly greedy family , as that wouldn’t be anywhere near enough for that many people unless it’s the infamous Mumsnet chicken rearing its head 🤣

you've read to far into her comment of 'piling his plate high' She was just being light hearted. You've over reacted and caused a bit of a scene.

Probably explains why I’m so fat 😂

There 💯 won’t be any frying going on the hob as every ring will be in use.
it’s not about cost for sure and I think I’m uncomfortable saying bring your own bits
will get a bigger bit of gammon I think and
maybe some chipolatas.
Each to their own I suppose x

This is only a big deal if you turn it into one. Either serve up as normal and he'll just have the meat, or stick on some extra chicken thighs if you have room in the oven.

How incredibly rude of them

Incredibly rude and entitled!

If you cut out carbs that’s up to you but you don’t pass the costs on to those that are kind enough to invite you over for lunch.

Your sister sounds like she is infatuated. Assuming she is a grown woman it’s not a good look.

My guess is he’ll be embarrassed enough to not come after receiving this phone call from an auntie in law he’s not met yet, therefore solving the OPs problem!

Beyond rude on the part of your mad guests. I don't even know what to say?

Have you seem the Tik toks of the carnivore diet and the volume of meat the eat and record lol??

My foster son eats mainly protein and vegetables with just a small amount of carbs. He would happily eat chicken and gammon and lots of steamed vegetables and 1 potato but not if smothered with butter/honey or similar. I always put things like honey in a little pot so those who want it take it and those who don't are not forced into having it. He eats quite a bit of fruit too.

If it’s not about cost, then what’s the issue? It’s the same as a vegan eating a pile of vegetables surely? Maybe hosting isn’t for you?

Just serve him the meat he's entitled to and hand him the plate with it on. If he does want more and there's enough left then again serve him enough so others can still have seconds.

I would feel very weird having some stray man shovelling all the meat onto his plate and shunning everything else. I mean does he not eat vegetables?

I can imagine him wearing a shirt four sizes too small to extenuate his muscles...major ick.

No way. Bloody rude. He can bring a protein shake along with him if he needs to meet his macros. He should be eating veggies anyway although I can understand re the spuds. I'm fairly strict re my diet and go to the gym frequently but if there's a family meal etc then I accept that I'll have to be a little flexible. I certainly don't put others out

Sunday roast is by nature GF anyway though 🥴
Unless you cheat and add flour to the gravy.

The extra large ones are huge and the gammon is 1.8 kilo lol

Why would he be having extra meat, wouldn't he just have a normal portion and leave off the trimmings he doesn't want? (How healthy can it be not to eat any veg at all?)