‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

She wants him to feel welcome, fair enough.

But does she not also want him to make an effort with his fiances family. Do you have to go out of way for him? Can he not go out of way for you & slightly amend his eating habits one day?

I'd stick a massive packet of wafer thin him on his place mat.

God, I’d hate to be so stingy.
just throw in a couple of extra chicken breasts. It’s one meal.

Listened to message DSIS tying herself in knots , it will literally be a large plate of meat and no veg but he will brings some prepared sliced avocado and homemade mayo.
Won’t eat gammon, more like a chicken to himself and any more going left over
Will get a tray of thighs as-well I think
alongside what we would normally get.
Should be fine, but odd but fine xx

Whether he's on a cut or a carnivore diet, it's unreasonable to demand that he only be served meat. I'd just plate up the meat and then let him decide which of the veg he would help himself to. He can deviate from his diet for one meal.

Apart from anything else, meat is really expensive and I'd be pissed off if one of my guests had more than their fair share!

(and no this isn't like catering for a veggie or a gluten free diet - I'd do that with little complaint).

Ok to decide not to have veg/potatoes, not ok to expect to have a double or triple portion of expensive meat in exchange. He needs to accept he gets a portion, then perhaps if there are seconds going he can have a bit more, not demand a huge portion to begin.

Honestly all these bulky gym goers do my head in, its awful for the environment.

I was surprised by a guest once, the partner of a friend we were meeting for the first time. It was all a bit ah hoc, we weren't really expecting an additional person, just Oh's friend dropping in for dinner last minute.

As I was getting dinner ready they came in and asked for just chilli, no rice doing low carb. I said something along the line of I would leave the rice off. Cue a cheeky head to the side and "and replace it with extra chilli" in a single song voice. I reminded them I was already making the meal stretch and would be giving everyone the same. There would be plenty of salad available. They were disgruntled and I didn't give a shit.

It felt incredibly rude to me, I'm not responsible for proving all 2000 calories for an adult person. They arrived with nothing and drank lots of alcohol.

I am happy to cater for special diets and normally offer loads of extras and stuff to take home. I would not be piling one person's plate high in detriment to anyone else. I would probably plate the meat up and leave extras on two plates at either end.

He sounds like he is boring as fuck, all gym and no personality.

Can guarantee your adult sons will be taking the piss out of him together behind his back.

I think it sounds weird, unhealthy and very very very boring.

Vegetables are delicious, interesting and mostly healthy

which is what i said - OP has no idea which of them (or anything else) he is going to be

It is the absolute height of rudeness to accept an invitation to lunch (niece and sil here) and then to slide in with a demand that extra meat (the most expensive and arguably in demand part of the meal) be provided instead of doing what guests (absent dietry requirements, including veganism) should do: turn up with a small gift for the hosts, eat lunch, offer to help clear up, go home, write thank you note/text.

Seems pretty rude to me to want this at someone’s house not to mention very unhealthy. You need vegetables!

I wouldn’t be buying extra but I do think for 11 I would have opted for an easier option than multiple chickens - pork shoulder is my go to.

Yes one meal when he can eat less meat and, shock horror, some vegetables. Guy sounds a massive idiot

I’d serve the meat up for everyone and do veg and potatoes family style then everyone gets the same portion of meat but it’s up to him if he doesn’t fill his plate with potatoes and veg

Aside from the cost, how is it any different from catering for any other diet?

"You are a guest. This is the menu. The budget does not stretch to 'meat piled up'. He needs to learn to be grateful for what he's given and to have some manners. And no I'm serious, if he has a problem, he can bring his own dinner".

The expectation of getting a whole chicken to himself plus any extras is incredibly rude.

if he doesn’t want to eat the sides, fine, but he shouldn’t expect a bigger portion of the most expensive ingredient because of his dietary choices. He should gracefully accept a standard portion and eat before / after, like anyone else would if they went for a meal and didn’t like all of what was offered.

This isn’t a case where there’s nothing he can eat.

I wouldn't sit at a table with someone eating a whole chicken. Obscene.

Honestly, he sounds a bit rude if this is coming from him rather than your sil. I would expect him to eat the portion of meat that he is given in someone elses home and then eat before or afterwards.

In this case if you can pick up precooked chicken I would just give him that and not have the hassle of cooking a third one.

If you accept someone's hospitality, the convention is that you eat what is provided, unless you have genuine medical or conscientious reasons for avoiding certain foods. As for not eating vegetables, is this person five years old?

Well choosing to eat only meat because you're an obsessive gym goer is very different from being a celiac or a vegan or being not able to eat nuts or whatever.

Have read the updates (quite invested in this thread now lol ) and I still think for 1 meal I’d suck it up and allocate him a chicken of his own if need be 😂. A repeat invitation isn’t required .
My sister has a friend who’s husband would never socialise with them if going to a Chinese or Indian restaurant as was so extreme with his carnivore/ gym bunny protein diet he wouldn’t deviate , even for 1 meal . It’s a boring way to be , but each to their own

Fill his plate with a leaflet about colorectal health. Maybe add some information about the environmental consequences of intensive meat production if you want to really make for an interesting lunch.

Sausages and stuffing plus pudding will guarantee the other guests won’t go hungry. Extra chicken legs/things make you look like a very good host which is nice for your niece.

I won’t put it on the plate whole lol??

Irrelevant, that volume of meat is gross. I'd be uninviting the pair of them.

I would not have made any issue out of it and just chucked some extra chicken joints in a tray so there is a decent portion for him. I think you have made an issue out of none.