Partners daughter and her mother a nightmare

[Itsmebee]

It’s a long one…

partner had a child when he was 15. He had nothing to do with the child or mother but through the years when he got with me they always tried to cause trouble. He tried to have a relationship but her side of the family hated it so he left it. Been in contact on and off since she was 15 and it’s been nothing but a nightmare( she’s 20 ) They don’t want anything to do with our children at all. They constantly cause trouble and think money grows on trees. I’ve supported oh all the way through but I’m always to blame if it doesn’t go right. Fast forward and she’s had a child. After years of abuse and threats we are starting to have a relationship. Again they hate our other children dont want to know them. Keep pushing ideas on expensive days out with grandchild. Phone calls consist of mother and daughter bringing up the past and trying to cause problems, or try to make out I’m the best person ever. They record everything use stuff against us and I’m so done with it all. I pay for everything and I’m fed up. I go and get involved but I don’t feel like they really want me there. They would be happy for other half to go alone. This happened in the past but he ended up cheating with her mother. Should I shrug it all off and just be happy with the situation or not. We have been together for a very long time and this has always been a problem.

What the fuck? He abandoned his daughter, he cheated on you with his ex... and somehow the daughter and the ex are the problem here?

This is true as at that point he had contact but was hiding it. I found out and he went off to her. They are all to blame but I don’t think you understand I’ve had years of messages prank phone calls etc to the point it got too much

You can get a court ordered DNA test, so why didnt he do that?
He's had time and money and energy to have another relationship, more children and cheat on you so time/money/energy cant possibly be used as an excuse.

Your partner was 15, how old was his daughter's mum? Younger?

Is it possible "vile" means tells you a few home truths you don't want to hear?

So leave him. Block the daughter and her mother. Draw up an access arrangement for your children to see their father. If the daughter and her mother harass you, call the police.

You’re being taken for an absolute mug here. Walk away and leave them all to it, he’s just as bad as them and it sounds like they all deserve each other.

No not really I’ve just had enough of 16 years of pure vile abuse constant bonbardment

He isn't a good dad.

He never went to court to get contact mandated with his daughter.

He cheated on you.

And he lets you pay for everything! He's a terrible dad.

What are his good features?.

So dump him? What's the issue here?

What in the Jerry Springer wannabe knock off; Jeremy Kyle is going on here.

This relationship and all that comes with it is not good for you. It never has been. Run.

I cannot get past

1. He cheated

2. I pay for everything

Fucking Hell leave this waste of space...

You may think your the nicest person you could meet but you are absolutely dysfunctional as fuck.

You got with a teenager who didnt have anything to do with his first child. Then thought it would be great idea to choose him as the father of your kids.

Here you are in your 30s. Pointing the finger everywhere but where it needs to be.

A father who is a good father to some of his kids but not others is by definition not a good father.

A father who allows said child to be raised in complete dysfunction and then risks his other kids security by cheating with his teen ex is not a good father and is a piss poor partner.

You really lack emotional maturity and understanding all of your posts are evil them, poor him and poor me.

You all have had a seat and choices in this shit show.

Why would you think any of what you have written is the hallmark of a healthy, non toxic relationship and family environment for your own children?

You need to stop looking outwards and sort your own shit out.

😂😂😂 my thoughts exactly @toomuchfaff 😅

No I mean calling up friends and family and saying nasty things about me, posting me and my children on Facebook and calling us names. I work hard and give my children a good life with trips etc. if you had what I had for years you would say the same.

It sounds very, very stressful @Itsmebee
I'm sorry you're going through this.

Can you think about leaving him, or kicking him out? Out of interest, were you also a teenage mother with him?

OMG it gets worse. So he lied to you over a long period of time. It's absolutely certain he was lying to her too and a lot of what you see as bad behaviour would have made sense if you knew what she was being told about your relationship.

It's still all down to him. Even if you can convince yourself it isn't, he's the one who could stop it and he hasn't.

Yes, but what was she being told about you......?

You're probably right, but I feel that your anger is directed at the wrong people. Your husband is very much to blame here, too.

So you have had abuse for 16 years and he makes it worse by sleeping with the ex.
Get rid of him.
You're a young lady don't waste any more time on these wasted people.
That is unforgivable, he made a big mess much worse. Scumbag.

So to clarify
Your partner had a child when he was 15 and she is 20 now
He cheated on you with his ex
You pay for everything for this 20 year old

He sounds like a shit of the first order

You all sound stuck back in the days when none of you had a fully developed pre-frontal cortex.

Wow! Quite the insult there.

Yes he was 15 and mum was 16 the daughter is 20 now. I pay for trips out with said grandchild birthdays and Christmas and also for step daughter. Even after everything they have done to me.