Partners daughter and her mother a nightmare

[Itsmebee]

It’s a long one…

partner had a child when he was 15. He had nothing to do with the child or mother but through the years when he got with me they always tried to cause trouble. He tried to have a relationship but her side of the family hated it so he left it. Been in contact on and off since she was 15 and it’s been nothing but a nightmare( she’s 20 ) They don’t want anything to do with our children at all. They constantly cause trouble and think money grows on trees. I’ve supported oh all the way through but I’m always to blame if it doesn’t go right. Fast forward and she’s had a child. After years of abuse and threats we are starting to have a relationship. Again they hate our other children dont want to know them. Keep pushing ideas on expensive days out with grandchild. Phone calls consist of mother and daughter bringing up the past and trying to cause problems, or try to make out I’m the best person ever. They record everything use stuff against us and I’m so done with it all. I pay for everything and I’m fed up. I go and get involved but I don’t feel like they really want me there. They would be happy for other half to go alone. This happened in the past but he ended up cheating with her mother. Should I shrug it all off and just be happy with the situation or not. We have been together for a very long time and this has always been a problem.

Getting with a man who abandoned his child for 15 years was bound to come with problems. I wouldn't want to be in the relationship at all but if that isn't an option for you just completely step back. Block his DDs and ex's number and leave it to your partner to sort out. Why are you paying for it? It should be your partner who is paying.

Op he cheated on you? Did I read that right?

I’m a bit confused.

Your partner abandoned his daughter for most of her life?

Your partner went on a day out with his DD, grandchild and his ex-partner and then cheated with his ex?

And you pay for everything?

Why on Earth are you with him?

Did I understand correctly that your partner has cheated on you with his daughters mother? Fuck that. That's enough to tell them all to fuck off on it's own never mind that you're expected to pay for this....

I'd be out that door faster than you could blink

That's what I was going to ask, and also add that no one 'ends up' cheating on someone. They choose to. It's not something that passively happens. It doesn't sound like he takes much responsibility for anything in his life and doesn't sound like OP expects him to.

It’s not the ex-partner and the poor daughter who are a nightmare.

It’s the man

They would be happy for other half to go alone. This happened in the past but he ended up cheating with her mother - and you decided to stay with him after he cheated on you? Block the child and mother and stop paying for them. That's your DP responsibility.

Do not produce any more offspring with this so called “man”

They don't have to have a relationship with your children , leave your partner to it

So if I'm assuming right and you're about the same age as your partner, you're about 35 now? And you have kids with this man? Why are you paying for anything for his 20 year old daughter?

I read it as he cheated with 15 year olds dm.
How old was he when this happened?

He sounds like a right prince 🙄

but he ended up cheating with her mother.

But yet the child and the mother are the problem? Open your fucking eyes... ditch this prince of a man and claim some self respect back.

You should not be happy with this situation, of course not! Your husband had no contact with his child for most of her life, and then cheated on you with her mother?!

No. You should not be happy with the situation. Why are you with him? He sounds awful

Say what now? Not only did he abandon his child, but he’s cheated on you with the child’s mother? And you apparently pay for everything? Sorry, but are you off your rocker? Get rid of this unpleasant, lying, cheating POS, and develop standards and feel your self esteem soar.

I could only read as far as rhe fiest sentence. I'm sorry what??? You got together with a massively inmature and irresponsible man, knowing he had impregnated a girl and then not done his duty as a father, and you're mad at them? Is this a joke? You are MASSIVELY unreasonable.

Had to read 3 times to fully get the casually noted cheating.

Does he have any redeeming features

What a train wreck for all of the children involved.
I just cannot fathom people that live like this and think it is in any way reasonable.
You should leave your 'partner' and he should grow up and parent his children.

why get together with a dead beat dad, if his DD asks for money why can't you refuse.

I can understand him not being involved with the child as he was only 15 when she was born.

Seeing his daughter and grandchild is reasonable, but if he cheated with his ex you should be clear that you don't want him to have any contact with her - that's as you've obviously decided to forgive the cheating.

You shouldn't have to pay anything towards the daughter or grandchild, if he wants to treat them, that's up to him, but if money is tight they'll have to make do with visits to the park etc. It's very sad that his daughter and grandaughter don't see the rest of your family. I think your DH should encourage it. Obviously not something her mother should be involved in at all.

He cheated on you with his daughter's mother and all of this is somehow the daughter and mother's fault?

Was with him from when she was 4 and the family where nasty pieces of work and he did try so hard but her mother wouldn’t let him

Tried that and got abuse and bonbardment for years

Your DH cheated on you with someone you call ‘a nasty piece of work’ but it’s his daughter who is the problem here?

He tried to be a dad to her but her mother wouldn’t let him at all