Cost of living or prioritising the wrong things 🤔

[Sbrown32]

Firstly, this is not to offend anyone, I just find it a interesting debate that I recently came across and wanted to know others opinions on this.

Is it the cost of living or are we prioritising the wrong things?

When I came across this, the woman who was discussing this topic had some really good points (in my opinion), back in the day, we prioritised differently, we didn't have a takeaway each week (guilty of this myself tbh), food deliveries on our phone, we didn't grab a coffee on the way to work every morning, family trips out to the cinema or nights out used to be a treat not a given etc

I am pregnant with my first, and looking at ways we can cut down on spending whilst I am on MAT leave, when I really looked into my spending habits I have realised that I do a lot of these myself, I get a coffee each morning usually with a breakfast meal deal of some sort, we have a takeaway each week and we spend a lot on going out, date nights, cinema trips and going to nice places to eat etc.

I haven't decided myself if I fully agree with this or not yet so please be respectful.

I don't really do those things. Can't remember the last time I bought a takeaway coffee. But even if we did, we live in a developed country in 2025.... Buying a hot drink shouldn't be beyond reach.

I think it's a bit of both tbh.

Some people do whinge about the cost of living while dropping money on takeaways, coffees etc. However lots of people are genuinely struggling to afford to eat.

Both I would say!

Cost of living has driven up food prices and also many people don't know how to cook a cheap meal from scratch so it becomes a bit of a cycle.

There is also a "why shouldn't I have x" mentality by some people (my brother definitely falls into this) so everything is on credit meaning less money for the basics.

Then you have the keeping up with the Jones/habits which easily creep in.

Some people however are and have always been on the breadline regardless.

I don't think many people realise the cost of convince when it's only a few pounds but that very quickly adds up.

I think both are true. I'm also on mat leave (congratulations by the way!) and we have had to cut down. We did start getting a weekly takeaway towards the end of my pregnancy but DH was doing a huge amount and I was exhausted!

I think it totally depends on your family's income. Takeaways weren't an option when I was growing up. But also I was one of three kids and comparing it to when DH and I were DINKs, very different!

If you have a reasonably comfortable income we probably do prioritise things like holidays which weren't an option for many families decades ago. But then how easy is it to run a household on a single income? And so many families are living in real deprivation.

Most people who are genuinely struggling don't do any of the things in your list, no matter what the Fail would have you believe, because they can't afford it.

If you're referring to the ability to buy a home then, no, quitting your morning Starbucks won't allow you to save a deposit. You'd save a little over £1000 a year, meaning it would take you around 60 years to save a deposit based on average house prices in the UK.

Yes both. A weekly takeaway, meals out, daily coffee and expensive nights out are luxuries and yes, nice to have but easy to cut back on if needed. It is annoying when people complain about the cost of living and that they have no money, can’t buy a house etc. but have weekly takeaways, expensive holidays, coffees and so on.

Things have changed. In the past the essentials were more affordable and the luxuries were expensive.

Nowadays it's the essentials which are feeling beyond reach.

I mean look at the cost of TVs for example. In the past we had to rent them they were so expensive.

Now, my grocery bill for a week is double the cost of a new TV. It's all gone topsy turvy

I think it’s a change in what is considered a reasonable expectation, eg “I work hard and have a good job and therefore I should be able to afford X”. The “X” has probably changed quite a bit.
You see it on here sometimes. Someone will post asking for help making savings on their food bill, and will get sensible responses but there’ll be some posters who’ll say “god how depressing! No takeaways and eating leftovers?? No way to live!”

I don’t do most of the things on your list.

However I do take several overseas holidays a year.

Different people have different priorities, but the low pay crisis means people are not able to cover the absolute basics of keeping themselves and their families housed safely and warmly and feeding them adequately.

I think when people are referring to coffees n relation to buying houses no one expects to save a whole house deposit just buy stopping coffees. But if you have a few years of saving on coffees, weekly takeaways and expensive nights holidays and add that to an amount you would be able to save, it might make the difference of being able to save up a deposit in 5 years instead of 10z in many places in the UK a £30k deposit would still enable you to buy a starter flat or house. Start saving on your early 20s and you could have one before you start a family.

Both.

Lifestyles are different now and in the past people spent more on food but less on housing, more on tobacco and clothing and less on things like gadgets.

Different things are hard.

People have different priorities. I don't smoke or drink and have a nice income. People with lower incomes are more likely to prioritise those things so things will feel even tighter for them.

I eat very little packaged food and so £50 on fruit and veg and whole foods goes a long way compared to someone who doest feel they are able to cook from scratch.

Basically not having time or money or giving up work to stay home on one average wage whilst trying to look after a baby and a home and live on a tight budget will mean a lower standard of living and different frustrations.

Because it is depressing. Someone working full-time should expect to be able to afford more than basic necessities.

A full-time wage should comfortably cover housing, utilities, and food with a small amount left for luxuries, but it doesn't, and that is because of the cost of housing, not a weekly pizza.

Possibly.
But day to day we don’t really do any of the above.
We live rural so coffee shops are rare, we tend to take in thermos cup now even if near one as it’s habit. We rarely eat out, maybe dinner once a month or two, but no meal deals/ lunches out.
We don’t really go out in the evenings where it’s costs either

No, I agree but everyday and it does start to add up and its cheaper to make a coffee at home and take it with you ect.

Completely agree, I do think its a bit of both!

If people's wages go soley on the bare essentials, then other businesses really struggle as people can no longer afford to use them... beauty salons, hairdressers, cafes, restaurants, bars, clubs etc

Yes it is about priorities unless you are minted.

what has helped me is is budgeting in order of priorities at the beginning of the month.

my priorities (afterDDs and saving for big items) goes

food
medicines
fuel/travel
repairs
eseential clothing
cleaning stuff /personal care/random stuff eg stationery
gifts and occasions
kids social
meals out/takeaway
clothingnfor me
then extras like going out, buying event tickets, plants, crochet yarn etc.

it really focuses my spending.

The thing is that getting a coffee in the morning used to be easily affordable to me. Now it is isn't because the price of coffee along with everything else has gone up way faster than my earnings. So obviously that means that I have to prioritise differently, but it is annoying to see our standard of living drop. It's only going to get worse so have to accept it and make the best. However life is quite fast paced now with 2 parents working etc. so I would say we were sometimes paying for convenience in order to cope with that pace. Also while I don't care about what car I have or clothes labels or anything like that I do feel I still have to keep pace in terms of what the done thing with socialising, kids parties etc. When I was a child my mum could have taken time to make me a Halloween costume or cook from scratch whereas I am at work. So it's all the mismatch of time, cost, earnings, skills and way of life that makes it a problem - but that's for lucky people like me obviously as there are people worrying about being able to eat at all.

I don't know what others are doing. For myself, I fit the description in your original post with regards to what I spend, and I'm on ok financially, but really feel the pinch on the food shop and we're vegetarian. I anticipate heating bills with a sense of dread but are fortunate that we'll be able to pay it.

True to extent, but the idea that a basic wage should cover ‘luxuries’ is a very recent thing. Throughout most of history, people have worked just to survive, and unfortunately we are heading back that way.

We do spend too much on takeaways and ready meals out of exhaustion - DS has had me up with him until between 2am-4am every night last week while I'm also trying to get up early to prepare for starting a new job. I'm struggling to function at this point and we got Chinese food last night.

I'm supposed to be cooking a pasta bake this evening. I don't know if I can manage it.

Everything else - we rarely go out, don't have holidays, don't get takeaway coffees etc. I'm not sure I count online food shopping, I find it's easier to control how much you're spending than going round a shop filling a trolley, plus supermarket shopping in person is horrendous.

It’s a bit of both

its amazing what you can save over ten years if you cut things right back and aim for a 1970 lifestyle -
cutting the movies, meals out, takeaways , coffee out, holidays , hair dye, ( although perms were popular ) , face products, make is cheap lipstick and powder . Having only one pair of shoes and one coat and one bag. Only the BBC , no subscriptions , walking at least twice a week to do the shopping, library for books , no Amazon decorations for Halloween just one turnip

but that doesn’t make it the right thing to do - it’s about working out what you want and what really gives you joy

many people who struggle do an awful lot of things that just didn’t happen in the past and then wonder why

what is happening is that for the last 10 years living standards have probably been declining - wages have not kept up with inflation . And that’s what hurts - what you could have you now can’t afford . In the 70s people didn’t miss what they never had.

I think you are talking about how people operate on different levels of income. The standard of living has increased over the previous decades, though they are now on a decline. Plenty of people see things as needs that would have been seen as luxuries in the not too distant past.

If you honestly wonder if it's just prioritising the wrong things, look at this info comparing average costs in the UK from 2015 to 2025:

Wages up 35%
House prices up 57%
Rent up 90%
Weekly shopping up 116%
Household bills up 47%

People who can't afford to pay their rent or feed their children probably aren't buying takeaways or coffees every week.

I said to my partner the other day, I am actually looking forward to getting back into cooking from scratch! We are lazy when it comes to food but we have been able too do so, with both us working full time and no responsibilities as such!

I think proper budgeting and cooking should be taught in schools (not sure if it is?) But it is shocking how many people have no idea how to cook a meal.

Yes, my partner is a bit like that with some things too, he is doing better but I have always been a you can't afford it don't buy it type of person (unless its something that you really need) credit cards used to be for emergencies not just wants ect.

You're missing the point.

People used to be able to afford a home and decent life with one salary.

Now two full time salaries isn't really enough.

Pretending it's just about buying coffees is a bit offensive. Too many people are genuinely struggling to pay for the basics despite working hard - that's a cost of living issue.