Cost of living or prioritising the wrong things 🤔

[Sbrown32]

Firstly, this is not to offend anyone, I just find it a interesting debate that I recently came across and wanted to know others opinions on this.

Is it the cost of living or are we prioritising the wrong things?

When I came across this, the woman who was discussing this topic had some really good points (in my opinion), back in the day, we prioritised differently, we didn't have a takeaway each week (guilty of this myself tbh), food deliveries on our phone, we didn't grab a coffee on the way to work every morning, family trips out to the cinema or nights out used to be a treat not a given etc

I am pregnant with my first, and looking at ways we can cut down on spending whilst I am on MAT leave, when I really looked into my spending habits I have realised that I do a lot of these myself, I get a coffee each morning usually with a breakfast meal deal of some sort, we have a takeaway each week and we spend a lot on going out, date nights, cinema trips and going to nice places to eat etc.

I haven't decided myself if I fully agree with this or not yet so please be respectful.

Don't do any of that because I can't afford
Don't go on holiday aboard,don't buy new or expensive cars
Have the cheapest phone and a cheap tablet
Never pay full price for anything
Have bought furniture or carpet or any home improvement in 30 years , because I can't afford.

Thank you 😊 hope you are okay and managing to get some rest!

Takeaways and easy food are our biggest weakness, I have to admit but I think with working full time and having two wages ect we have been able to and it just becomes the normal.

Yes, we had maybe a short get away (in England) once a year growing up but again if we couldn't afford it we didn't go.

Completely agree with you

You are missing the point @verycloakanddaggers
when people afforded life on a single salary it wasn’t a decent life as you describe or know it

it was ice on the windows , no holiday ever , … we’ll see my list earlier

you are harping after a time that never existed and idolising what you never knew ( or you weee just a bloody rich family and you didn’t see how most peope
were living)

I 'd agree with the mixture.

Growing up in the 80s round us:
Very few people had 2 cars. A fair number didn't have a car at all
A new car was almost certainly a work car. Most people drove old 5yo+ cars
Take away coffee was taking your own thermos flask
Eating out (for us was never) but for anyone was a big treat
Takeaways were a treat
Meals were normally cooked from scratch, cakes were home made.
Left over food was put in the fridge and "left overs" dinner or "cream of left over veg" were regular meals to use up other meals
Birthday parties were done in own home with home made food
I only knew one family that took holidays abroad regularly. That was every other year and they were by far and away the richest people I've known. More people I knew didn't holiday than ever went abroad
Clothes were handed down, especially school uniform (and you only had one set of uniform except shirts), through several children
Clothes were mended rather than thrown away. I had patches on elbows, knees, taken in to mend a seam, a extra band sewn on the bottom of a skirt to extend the life...
Bikes/big toys were normally second hand or made at home
Something broke and if it couldn't be mended at home you'd wait until birthday/Christmas for a replacement even if it was something you really needed
A day out would be going to a park or the beach or something - only money spent was getting there and maybe an ice cream
You only used the phone before 6pm (when it got cheaper) if you absolutely had to.
Fruit and Veg depended on seasons. Grapes and strawberries were occasional treats only when at the cheapest (and if we had grapes it was normally about 5 each)
Walking rather than pay for parking/public transport when possible
Most people had a TV, but the first people I knew to have a home video player was in 1986 - and that was because they'd really got it for their business but they let the children use it when they had friends over

I could continue.

And I look at that list and think what a different childhood mine had, even though we have been careful and at times money was an issue. But at times I've been told "you can't give them a second hand bike as a present" or "just throw it away, it's not worth mending".
The expectation is so much more. We have so much more stuff, and expect to throw it away rather than mending when it goes wrong - although often you can't get replacement parts in the same way.
Things are much quicker - remember 28 days for delivery. You only started worrying at about 35 days, and complaining at 42 days! My dc think that waiting a week is ridiculously long!

Yes, we shouldn't expect people to be going without any luxuries or treats, but on the whole people seemed happier.
I don't think there's any going back though.

Costa is about £7/8 for a hot drink and toast. If you are doing that every day it’s going to add up.

People always have money for fireworks and crap (not everyone of course), but lots of people do.

I think there are at least 3 different things here.

• it's natural when you go on mat leave to cut back a bit. Having your first baby is a massive lifestyle shift and it's normal for your weekly spending profile to change.
• Also, yes there are more consumer goods now, most people have phones, we can get a lot more delivered than ever before. Capitalism drives us to consume more. There are more things to buy or feel we "need" now.
• But also, yes of course cost of living is a thing. Food prices and rent have risen dramatically. Inflation's been much higher than we are used to and wages haven't kept pace for a lot of people. There are probably millions of people who were managing fine a few years ago, but are really struggling now, and it is rather dismissive of that to ponder whether they are perhaps just making poor choices and buying too much posh coffee and Just Eat.

I don't agree with this at all. In the late 1990s my husband worked a min wage job, we owned our own house, and I was a SAHM to two children. We had at least one holiday every year, had central heating, ran a car, and our house was lovely. Food was plentiful, we were warm, and I never felt we did without. We did budget carefully.

It probably depends what part of the country you lived in. We were in the midlands but our life was pretty nice, in fact it was much nicer than it is now.

Also think it’s a bit of both. We are a high income household (£300k this year) and live in a lower tax country. We have a high rate of savings (around 30% including pensions). When I look at our costs though, £2500 is mortgage and taxes, we spend around £1800 on food (eating out plus groceries) and £1000 on childcare. Our total monthly expenditure is around £8000/month including holiday savings against a net income after pensions of around £13k (about £35k of income is a bonus). We spend what feels like a huge amount on food and we have a nanny rather than after school club but even if we virtually cut out takeaways (I bring my lunch to work and only rarely buy a coffee out and DH is WFH) and shopped at a cheaper grocery (equivalent of Waitrose currently) and moved to after school care from a nanny, we would save around 15% of our monthly expenditure. If I scaled that down to a much lower income, I feel like the loss in convenience and quality of life just wouldn’t be worth it.

People’s perception of what a minimum for a decent standard of life is seems to have shifted massively.

It’s seen as being:
a smart phone
take away hot drinks
driving a car
film subscriptions
heating to a level where don’t need jumpers and slippers
eating out or takeaways several times a month (rather than a year)
out of season food products

I think it is both. People are genuinely struggling but there are lots of others on average salaries who live beyond their means due to consumerism driven by social media and relentless advertising.

Growing up takeaways were something we had a couple of times a year, same with days out but now with social media people feel the need to be doing something constantly. We went to a forest light show at the weekend where the ticket cost for an average family is over £100 before the extras marshmallows, food, hot drinks etc

Things we didnt do when I was young (im 64)
We didnt have a car
We didnt go to university. Only those with top grades got in (but it was free)
We didnt have central heating
We didnt have takeaways, eat out every week( it was a once or twice a year treat)
We didnt have fake nails done
We didnt have eyebrows, lashes, lips done
We didnt go on foreign holidays., We took a packed lunch and a flask to work
A cinema trip was a treat
We didnt spend our 20s travelling the world then have a big shock when realising we can't afford a deposit for a house 😕

I'm not a leftie type at all...my politics are centre right...but this is capitalism. Keep making more and more profit until people have just enough to get by.

The 90s was very mixed but really it wasn’t until the 2010s that living standards have gone backwards

and even today many families have sahm - it’s not uncommon and that means one salary keeping the home afloat in lots of homes. Indeeed the more common complaint today is that women are forced to be sahp due to nursery costs

to Judge we need to look across averages not single instances

This is so insulting to younger people who are struggling. It's like the old chestnut often smugly taken out by older generations -"we cut our cloth to match our purse". If you see my previous post on how expenses have changed, we no longer have the same goal posts. People who are struggling don't do the things you have listed. However, entire generations of children were told that without a university degree, they had no hope of getting a good job. That turned out to be a lie and now they are left with massive levels of debt.

When you look at inflation, cost of housing has far outpaced salaries, food I think became cheaper and has gone up again recently, but probably not a significant change in relative inflation long term, cost of fuel has gone up considerably, both petrol and gas and electricity. I think the stuff we don’t need, like coffee or take away has gotten cheaper, but the stuff we do need, housing and energy have become much more expensive.

And can we please stop saying that smartphones and the internet are luxuries. It's not then1980s where only the rich city boys could afford a car phone. You literally can't conduct your life without the internet and a mobile device. I can't even pay for a school trip without doing it online.

People live this way (unable to afford heating etc.) now on two salaries.

Since having a mortgage I don't really do any of the things on your list! DH and I have a takeaway for a special occasion, birthday, promotion, anniversary etc. The only time we go to cafe/restaurant is to socialise with friends (not even every month). Don't buy ready meals, make all hot drinks at home. Shop at Lidl, no deliveries etc. We do try to spoil our nephew though by going to bowling, cinema, mini golf etc but we budget for that as it is so expensive! DH and I don't buy eachother gifts, we enjoy free activities, although having a puppy and kitten is our luxury/frivolous spending. I really think it's more the cost of living nowadays then people's spending habits. We are wanting to TTC but need to save more for maternity leave, surely it wasn't always this hard to afford a family

My DH doesn't possess any phone. A lot of my elderly neighbours don't have smart phones or internet. My late parents born in the 1930s both worked in order to buy a house. We had a few days away this year in this country (pilgrimage to DHS GP graves as his mother died) first holiday in 16 years. Had one new car in our 36 years together. Coffee and cake out is an occasional luxury.

Absolutely.

Averages - how many people on average are living without heating ? if that more or less than in past times?

more than in very recent times but less than in most proceeding decades would be my best guess

They drink coffee out in Europe too, but I just got charged €1.5 for it. My local coffee shop charges £3.95 for a basic americano.

In my opinion, we work to live. The commute, the hours, do not allow us to sit down with a decent cup of coffee in the morning, so then grabbing a coffee on your way to the office is a necessity, not a luxury. After a long day, nobody goes to the local market for fresh produce to cook on the day. We have no food markets left outside big cities, because it’s expensive, no one is out and about in the day, or having a half day a week, or finishing work at a decent time. So then yes, we’ll have a take away, it’s warm food and you can just eat it, no prep involved.
I’m abroad now. Yesterday there was a farmer ‘s market in the square, today all shops are shut, it’s Sunday.

I think you are both right.

I think the other poster was referring to 70s or possibly 80s.

I think the 90s were probably the peak for standard of living. A comfortable modest life achievable on one salary.

House price increases, the financial crash and then just life post 2020 means we are unlikely ever to go back to that.

Why doesn't your dh have a phone though? My smartphone cost a grand total of £70...my food bill is £250 a week. It would be utterly pointless for me to forgo having a mobile phone in order to save £70.

I do treat myself but I also save first. I put 100 into my ISA every single month on payday. sometimes I go short at the end of the month but I'm always building savings for my children's future.