Friend dumps junk on me

[MyameVyce]

My friend keeps dumping her unwanted stuff on me. Stuff is in bad condition and it would be unfair to send it to charity shop and no one would take it for free even. That leaves the option of taking it to the tip which is really hard for me to do because I’m on my own with a 1 year old. getting to the tip that’s 10miles away at the weekend, and getting the stuff into the right bins without DC having a meltdown because I’ve left her in the car is not fun .

Recent examples of these gifts are a broken bread maker that I don’t have a clue how to fix, a mouldy bouncy chair (black mould), newborn clothes when my DC is 1, and a set of rusty pans. This time it’s a grotty old mini fridge and the door doesn’t shut well.

She brings this rubbish every time I invite her round. I tell her: no. Please take it away, I don’t need it/want it. And she says oh that’s fine, take it to charity or pass it on if it’s not for you. I’ve told her that it’s not easy for me to get stuff loaded up in car to take to charity/the dump and then she just ends up leaving it behind anyway. I think she does it so she can feel eco because it’s not her sending stuff to landfill.

I live in a small space with no storage. I’m super peeved that I’m having to spend the weekend sorting out disposing of a fridge instead of doing something I want to do with my kid!

AIBU to load up the car and take the fridge and the rest back to her tomorrow AM?

Don't invite her around anymore then!

Nice work OP! I assume you'll be going to the jumble sale and support it by buying back the broken coffee machine 😂

Love your update @MyameVyce
It seems that your "friend" realises that she has been rumbled. At least she isn't being horrible about it.

The next time she asks to meet for a coffee, I would be tempted to reply "Sounds great, will we just meet at the local tip and save ourselves the faffing around?".

She sounds bonkers. Is she really a friend??

Yes, load your car up tomorrow with all the crap she's given you and take it back to her. Tell her that you told her you didn't want it, and it's not your responsibility to dispose of her rubbish. Instead of taking the things to the tip herself, she's dumping them on you, because it's easier than the tip! She's not really much of a friend, because she's using you. I'd be stepping back from the friendship.

very selfish of her. Put a stop to it - stop inviting her over - instead go over to hers then you can control what you take. Or meet her somewhere out eg a coffee shop. If she asks why say its because you dont want all the stuff she gives you. When you say no and she gives it you anyway that is her disrespecting your boundaries.

😂

Sorry, shou have read through the entire thread first.

Well done on taking the junk back!
..................................
Don't let the stuff in the door, and if she won't take no for an answer then she doesn't get to come in either!

”She knows it’s so much harder for me to “just”
pop to the dump or the charity shop. Also … poor charity shop. Hopefully they’ll see what’s she’s bringing and refuse it at the door.”

You should tell her that

‘I absolutely do not want this item in my home, please take it away with you’

I wouldn’t put up with this and she’s not your friend.

OP has updated.

This would drive me insane. I’m all for passing stuff on if it’s wanted but this is not helpful at all. Take it back to her and say I don’t need any of this and I can’t get to the tip so you’ll have to take it. When she comes next time, don’t let her leave without taking her crap with her, she will stop if you do this. There’s no way I’d let someone leave all their junk with me. I often gift my ds clothes for her kids but I always say if they are no good I’ll take them to the clothes bank on way home, anything big I’d ask someone first

Sorry I saw you updated. Well done OP good for you

Congratulations, OP.

Your friend is weird, but at least she's not weird enough to try to start a fight about this.

Hopefully she won't try dumping stuff on you again (she sounds selfish, but if the stuff is going to boomerang back to her doorstep then she ought to figure out that it's not worth it).

I voted you were being unreasonable because you keep on asking her around.

Stop it!

And tell her why.

It sounds like she’s trying to style it out. You’ve called her out on her unreasonableness so she’s invented a reason it suits her to have it back rather than admit she was ever in the wrong. If you want to keep the friendship going for other reasons I’d just smile and nod and change the subject.

Oh this is WONDERFUL, please send it to her! 🙏

Well done OP! Don't sweat about the way she's spinning it, it's just a last dig. You're shot of the stuff and she has "accepted" it back - that's the long and short of it.

I sincerely hope you will now rethink this friendship OP.

👏💐,👏💐👏💐👏💐👏

She's a cheeky bitch.

Next time she's coming round tell her to not bring anything and make it clear that if she does she will be leaving with it again.

Tell her you're sick of having to do tip runs to get rid of stuff she should be getting rid of herself.

If she tries to brush it off, follow her out of the house as she leaves and put it in her car.

She's really taking the piss.

I bet she’s seen this thread!

Do we have the same friend? 🤣this is so familiar

The fridge has gone too far.
Return and say you weren’t able to dispose of it.

Don’t invite her again she’s not respecting your boundaries and pushed to the limit with a fridge.

If you still want a friendship meet on neutral ground eg coffee shop.