Friend dumps junk on me

[MyameVyce]

My friend keeps dumping her unwanted stuff on me. Stuff is in bad condition and it would be unfair to send it to charity shop and no one would take it for free even. That leaves the option of taking it to the tip which is really hard for me to do because I’m on my own with a 1 year old. getting to the tip that’s 10miles away at the weekend, and getting the stuff into the right bins without DC having a meltdown because I’ve left her in the car is not fun .

Recent examples of these gifts are a broken bread maker that I don’t have a clue how to fix, a mouldy bouncy chair (black mould), newborn clothes when my DC is 1, and a set of rusty pans. This time it’s a grotty old mini fridge and the door doesn’t shut well.

She brings this rubbish every time I invite her round. I tell her: no. Please take it away, I don’t need it/want it. And she says oh that’s fine, take it to charity or pass it on if it’s not for you. I’ve told her that it’s not easy for me to get stuff loaded up in car to take to charity/the dump and then she just ends up leaving it behind anyway. I think she does it so she can feel eco because it’s not her sending stuff to landfill.

I live in a small space with no storage. I’m super peeved that I’m having to spend the weekend sorting out disposing of a fridge instead of doing something I want to do with my kid!

AIBU to load up the car and take the fridge and the rest back to her tomorrow AM?

If you want to keep the friendship I'd just take the fridge back, explain that it would cost you money to get rid of and you don't think that's fair for you to pay to get rid of her rubbish. This is the absolute least you should do in my opinion. If you don't care that much about keeping her as a friend absolutely load the car up with everything else as well and dump it all back.

I would do this. Rope in a sympathetic person to help you if necessary. Dump it all on her doorstep so she's confronted by it when she opens her front door. Don't feel guilty in the slightest, she doesn't feel guilty about dumping it on you!

Once you've done it, if she complains you can say "Now you know how I feel! Stop bringing me your rubbish!" Ditch her if she doesn't stop, friends don't treat each other this way.

(In our borough you can take fridges to the tip for free but you must take it to the correct one, otherwise the tip guys will just tell you they don't take them, Xx is the correct site. And thankful I am, or fly tipping would be worse!)

When I was with my XH his family would do a whole loft clearance and dump it on us in bin bags telling him to take out anything he wants and then the rest to a charity shop or the dump if he “wanted to”. The whole of his family would dump their junk and his friends. If anyone was getting rid of a sofa, he was their first port of call. We even had mouldy bamboo shelves at one point. He wouldn’t say no, but he didn’t want it either. It became a huge problem. Oh, even broken down cars were often left on our front drive too, waiting to be fixed or taken to the scrap heap.

Dear Friend,
Please could you come to my house and remove items X,Y and Z that you left me. I have no space for them and I have no use for them. It’s very hard with my baby for me to dispose of them so I need you to come and take them back and dispose of your things yourself.
thanks, OP

this person isn’t your friend btw

I’ve done it. Dc was up early, so I packed up car and drove round there just after 7am.I left fridge, pans and a miscellaneous bag next to her door. I messaged to say I was coming over that way but it was way too early to knock at 7am. No reply!

Good for you!
Do you think she was trying to be well meaning when she gave you all this stuff, or do you think she was just too lazy to take it to the tip herself?

Well done!

I admit to being invested in hearing her reaction 🫣

Deleted mt comment cos i hadnt rtft. Well done!

Well done.

@21ZIGGY she has done. She updated just before you posted.

Don’t invite her round anymore, if she wants to see u, she can invite you round hers. And when u go over, have a clear out first and dump
a bag in her hallway on leaving! She doesn’t sound like a nice friend with your best intentions at heart

Stealth move, I love it!! Good for you OP! She’s disrespectful of you and your friendship.

Brilliant, good for you. I was feeling quite cross on your behalf. How dare she dump her crap on you!

Definitely don’t ever let her through your door again with anything in her hands other than cake.

Well done @MyameVyce! Please let us know what she aays!

But she IS dumping all her crap on her, despite being told not to?

Dump it all back on her doorstep, every time, OP - and don’t send a wheedling message, just tell her it stops right now.

I’m highly invested in this now! Good for you OP hopefully this will put a stop to future ‘I thought you might like this’

please let us know her reply and if she tried this again do not let her in the house with any more rubbish. Immediately make her return it to her car!

Great job. Let us know what she says @MyameVyce

YABU to not put it back in her hands and push her back through the front door.

Use words: no take it away

That is all

ETA: just saw your most recent post. Well done. Now don't let her through the door with anything in her hands. Warn her before she comes that if she has anything in her hands, she won't be allowed in.

Well done @MyameVyce very nicely done 👏👏

Well done, don't invite her over again.

Glad you've taken it back, but seriously-you need to man up and stop this happening again.

If someone turned up with a fridge at my door, it wouldn't be coming through it! Or any other crap. If thy pulled a stunt like this-I wouldn't have them round again. I wouldn't want to meet up with someone like this again anyway.

Well done OP.
That is not a friend.
Don't invite her again.

Bloody brilliant op. Well done 👏

Don't let her bring it in your house.

When organizing say 'do not bring anything', then when you open the door, if you see her with a fridge or chair etc... say 'nope' and shut the door. If she leaves it on you door step/garden etc... report her for fly tipping.

Its really not that hard.

Well done! And if she says why have you left it all, just say thanks for thinking of me but not things I need at the moment and I can’t find anyone else who’d make use of them. I know you wouldn’t want them going to waste so left them so you can make sure they go to a good home.

Well done for taking it all back - especially the fridge! Cheeky mare.

I wouldn’t invite her round again and would tell her why if she asks. Meet only on neutral territory !

The fridge is especially heinous because, as others have said, you have to pay to dispose of them.