To date a man with four kids by two women?

[Carlott4]

I’ve met someone I really like, but he has four kids by two women. Both were long term relationships. Would you go there?

Hell no. Four kids. Shudders.

No

Maybe read this post!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5436908-i-cant-do-this-anymore-step-kids-are-ruining-my-life

No

That wouldn't work for me, no. Do you children yourself OP?

Not even a little bit, no.

Read the thread on AIBU by the woman who has married a man with 4 children to see what your life could end up looking like.

Because after reading that thread I would not.

I was just thinking that!

Only if you're sterilised or happy to be a lone parent and you have no intention of living with him, but even then probably not

Glad someone has added a link to that thread.

You would be insane to even think about it.

You need to give a lot more context. Do you have kids? Do you want them? How old are all the children? Are you hoping to have a live in partner soon? Where do his children live and how often do they stay with him? All of that will hugely impact things.
if, for example, he’s 60 and has two grown up kids from first wife, and then two teens from second LTR and they have parted amicable or she cheated or something then I think he deserves another chance at love and could be a decent guy.

if you are 30 and want your own kids then I would steer clear tho

Date yes - if he were fun and had money and a bit of swagger and took me to nice places.

Date exclusively and on a long term basis, no.

Don't be so stupid. I won't date anyone with kids.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My cousin is living with a man with 5 kids- most access he ever has with them is EOW but they don’t tend to want to have any contact… 2 mums. He seems to be a bit of a twat tbh, the red flags were correct.

I wouldn’t it’s just too much chance of complications. Plus all that maintenance he will just not have spare money. In theory his time will also be stretched with a lot of running about to see kids if he is a decent Dad.

If I wanted my own kids in the future, definitely not as I wouldn't want my future kids to have several half families. I would also want my kids to have amazing holidays abroad and lots of activities which would be very difficult as there would be 4 half siblings wanting to tag along. And, if you split up, maintenance won't go far split 5 or 6 ways.

I'm past having kids now and couldn't be bothered with 4 step kids and all the family politics that come with that.

Absolutely not.

No. As someone who doesn't have children- no. I have dated someone with children. I would prefer someone without children.

Where would I go from here..........? To the hills >>>>>>> 🏃

I would never EVER date a man with children under 25.

Forget the 2 women... 4 kids?
Absolutely not!
I didn't even want more than 1 of my own.

Depends what you want, are you looking for a relationship that leads to cohabiting, marriage, children of your own? In which case a big fat no. If you're older, already have kids and are looking for something where you see each other but live separately, at least until the kids are older, then... maybe, but I'd think carefully.

You wouldn’t be unreasonable to do it but I wouldn’t do it. Certainly not as a serious relationship. Think about the physical logistics required for him to be a parent to the four children and contribute financially. I think there would be a lot of resentment headed your way even if you don’t want kids.

God no! I wouldn’t like the idea of one kid, never mind four, with two ex’s in the mix.

If DH and I split, I just wouldn’t date until kids were no longer an issue.

Depends entirely.

Do you really like him in a "fun for a few months way" or a "looking for someone to settle down with" way? If the latter, run a mile.