To date a man with four kids by two women?

[Carlott4]

I’ve met someone I really like, but he has four kids by two women. Both were long term relationships. Would you go there?

Why? He’s clearly not someone who can settle down and do right by his family to have done it twice and fucked up twice. Run for the hills.

Probably not but at the same time there's nothing wrong with seeing how it goes and going into it with your eyes open.

It's really difficult to say without knowing why the relationships ended or looking into the future and seeing how these families get on, as you can see most women wouldn't.

I suspect a lot of decent men would run a mile at the thought of dating a woman with a tribe of kids by different men in tow.

Personal preference really.

I didn't understand your vote but this is me saying

No. No chance in hell.

4 kids. That's a lot of time and money he should be spending parenting.

He might be wanting a bangmaidnanny.

Do You have a house?

I have 3 children to 2 ex partners. Both long term relationships and unfortunately i was treated badly by both my exs. I al
not a whore, bad partner, slut…. I work hard and provide for all my children however 2 are older and left home for uni now so just 1 young child living with me. I get no child maintenance and £55 a month UC and child benefit so fairly self sufficient and own my own home (with mortgage).

I am currently dating a man who has 3 children 2 older at uni but live at home and he has a younger child too. All to same woman just his wife died young.

We haven’t involved children yet prefer to try and build a try first before introducing. So 6 children to factor in neither of us having maintenance coming in. But we are happy and good people. If situation not for you ok but not all single parents are bad people just life can treat you cruelly at times.

I personally wouldn't, no.

Definitely not. Even one kid by one woman to be honest. Step-parenting is not for me.

This is surely a wind up…. Especially after the other thread with the useless dad and 4 stepchildren

How old are the children? Any under 10 and run away fast.

I don't think the reluctance is any judgement on his character, more that he doesn't (shouldn't) have the time/money/headspace and that there's the potential for too much drama for him to be an attractive partner

No. Are you young ? Do you want children of your own ? I wouldn’t date a man with children if I wanted my own family . There are childless men out there with less baggage. Hold out for one of them if you want someone

No. Unless they are all over 18, and even then, probably not!

How old are you both and are you wanting kids, how old are the kids etc?

I know most women my age have on average 2 kids and so I don’t see anything wrong with it.

It entirely depends on your circumstances and what you want for the future though.

You need to add a little more context if all 4 children are below the age of 10 and he shares 50/50 custody then I wouldn’t be looking for a serious long term relationship and moving in together….
If he has 4 children with a wide range of ages then possibly. It also depends on if you have children yourself, want children and the ages of you both.
A 45 year old bloke with an 17 year old, 15 year old and then a 8 year old and 6 year old is a very different prospect to say a 32 year old with 9 year old, 7 year old and then a 3 year and 2 year old!

Absolutely not.
Only for someone who has zero sense of self value and preservation.

See those hills? They’re beckoning…

I would never date a man with children, especially now I have children of my own. I have several opinions on blended families and not a single one of them is positive.

Can he afford to leave the house for a date very often with four children?

Even men with adult children come with quite a lot of baggage. Maybe it's the follow on from being a Disney Dad but IME middle aged men find it impossible to say no to adult DC, and are at their beck and call 24/7, even (or maybe especially?) when they weren't that involved in their childhoods.

Why would I want to date a man that already chose to have 4 children…. He needs to focus on raising them.

Find a man without children!

No.

Same here. ‘Blended’ families don’t work in my experience. Parents need to focus their attention on their own children first!

God no

Not for me am afraid but am not you. 100% you choice.