To date a man with four kids by two women?

[Carlott4]

I’ve met someone I really like, but he has four kids by two women. Both were long term relationships. Would you go there?

This

Is he sexy op? If hes hot, enjoy him, get yourself on the implant so you dont get pregnant, and then set him free when youre done 😉

If he isnt super sexy but has a 'nice personality' - RUN

If he's 25, no way in hell

If he's 60, possibly

need more details!

4 kids would be too many for me and 2 mothers is an added complication, so I wouldn’t.

Do you have/want kids? How old are they? Assuming he sees them regularly?

Walk away

For an occasional no strings shag if you know you won’t fall for him and ok with him being unreliable - maybe If he was hot 🔥

As a future long term partner, no. If I wanted kids of my own still, absolutely not.

No ! Don’t do it !

Nope!

No.

Breakups take two people. If the women were genuinely awful and it is all their fault (unlikely both times) then it shows at the very least he has poor judgement as he had two dc with each.

Or perhaps he gets bored and doesn't work at keeping a relationship once there are a couple of children. There are two households left fatherless in his wake, the impact on children cannot be overstated and I wouldn't touch a man who didn't seem to understand that with a barge pole.

There are so many men. Toss this one back.

No no no no no no no NOOOOOOOOO!

No.

Very few men would be able to be an equal co parent to 4 children across two households, while also working a job well paid enough to meet his share of the the finances of those two households. Yet your man is able to do all of that AND have the time and resources to be a good partner is a new relationship? If you've found this unicorn of a man, good luck to you. But I strongly suspect you haven't, and someone is already getting less than they deserve due to this man's decision to double his family and then move on again. Do you want to be another person he's short changing?

Huh no. Based on my experience there’s a reason the mothers and the fathers split. Especially with this happening twice, it’s usually due to man’s behaviour in those relationships…if I did date I’d defo be taking it slow and keeping my eyes wide open

How old are the kids?

Does he want more kids?

Do you have kids?

Id only go there if the kids were all 10yrs +, he DIDNT want more kids and neither did I.

Dont become wife number 3 and Dont have kids with him.

Absolutely not relationship material. With 4 kids and 2 co-parents, if he's doing even an adequate job of parenting it won't leave enough time for anything other than a bit of fun, tops. If he's not doing that, and thus has more time, he's not relationship material because he's a deadbeat.

If it were going to be something very casual and you had extremely firm boundaries then maybe. Like if you only have one free night a fortnight and so does he, it could work.

nothing wrong with going on a date with him

just don’t take off your knickers

Is it my ex? WELCOME to the financial and logistical and emotional MAYHEM - we can’t wait to add to the merry gang

Context is everything. How long term is long term, and what were the reasons for splitting up?

Also, how old are the children, and what’s he like as a father? What’s his relationships like with his exes?

However, my first thought would also be no.

God no. I’m not becoming a stepmother ever, especially not to four kids and with two exes in tow. Sounds genuinely awful.

Four adult kids and his life is sorted - yes

Four kids of any age and his life is sorted and you don’t want to live with him in the near future - yes

Four kids and he wants to live together soon and the kids are under 15 - hell no!

I say that as a parent of four

As others said depends how long ago /how old kids are

having 2/3 in their 20/30’s by one and one younger child by another isn’t too bad.

but I’d have 4 kids as in under 18 then it’s a concern

and even more so if you want kids

Why would any woman want to become a stepmother to someone else’s children??

The difference here is both partners have equal numbers if children, most of whom will soon live out.

OP hasn't returned, so we dont have the ages if his kids. Maybe there were twins? Maybe X wives ran off with other men.
Either way, its a lot of someone else's kids potentially slotting into her new relationship …

Well often they don’t.

They just are desperate for the man so they tolerate the fact he has kids l, then they post on here x months later about how the stepkids are such a mood killer and inconvenience.

I would hate to be a stepmum so I don’t date men with kids as it wouldn’t be fair on them or me.

The issue is some people lack self awareness or consideration for the children involved.

If we were both older folks and his kids were proper grown ups living their own lives (and he hadn’t been a deadbeat dad!)…sure.

Otherwise, not a chance in hell.