To think women have double standards

[Scottishlass10]

DH & I were travelling by train and there was a group of women sitting across from us. If men discussed women the way they talked about men the men would be accused of misogyny. Later on DH said and I agree, that some women think it’s unacceptable to be objectified and spoken about in a sexual way but it’s ok for men to be treated like that and there certainly is double standards.

I’d genuinely step away now.

You refuse to say a woman would feel far more vulnerable. It does not negate what’s said to a man. It’s the reaction. Your sons tell you about this stuff. I never told my mum because she’d say give him a clout round the ear next time! That’s the difference.

Tell us how your husband felt after he heard the comments on the train. Was he scared?

@shuggles

Can I ask, what is the motivation for a man to join Mumsnet and tell women what women like, don’t like and what they do?

Why do you choose to spend your weekends doing this?

No he wasn’t scared. I do understand how women may feel scared or intimidated though. Your mum saying give him a clout next time is understandable but would it be acceptable for a man to give a woman a clout in similar circumstance of course it wouldn’t be no more than it’s acceptable for a woman to clout a man.

I did try to change it but couldn’t

It's just debate and discussion, the same as any other board.

Those women might have been guilty of that. But I think crassness and objectification is objectionable no matter whom it comes from, and nobody I bother to hang out with speaks about others like that.

But what is your motivation for being on here at all?

As part of the oppressive group, what motivates you to insert yourself in the conversations of the oppressed group?

@Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim As part of the oppressive group, what motivates you to insert yourself in the conversations of the oppressed group?

I am not part of an oppressive group, which would be especially true judging some of the financial information I've seen on here.

Although I think this is getting off topic, so I won't respond further. I have no issues with continuing discussions in PM though.

Men are an oppressive group, world wide, and have been for a millennia.

And I’ve never, ever been invited to take a public conversation to private messages before.

He wasn’t scared so there is no comparison. End of discussion.

No my mum saying giving a clout around the ear wasn’t acceptable. She should have had my back. At any age I’m not going to clobber a man. He could hurt me far more. I hope you are not a parent.

You and your husband are clueless. I’m glad you’ve answered. I just thought you were a little/lot naive. Now I see.

If you’ve read my previous posts you’d know I have sons who have been on the receiving end of sexual comments from women whilst playing their sport.

Ah yes. Sorry. Well that’s awful. Hopefully your sons have a better understanding despite you and your dh.

You’re ignoring it, my lovely, because you’re a misogynist who thinks women are there to be dismissed and ignored when talking of their experiences with men. Because they don’t matter. End of.

I’m so tired of the false equivalencies on mumsnet. Don’t the people who trot it out see how trite they sound, unable to comprehend the larger context in which these same situations play out— with such different implications?

Are women who act as handmaidens for men with these claims of hypocrisy and supposedly double standards really not get it? Or do they pretend not to get it because being a cool girl pays in the patriarchy?

What a stupid post.

I’m doing this next time!

Exactly. That’s both ny OH & I’s view too.,

If men discussed women the way they talked about men the men would be accused of misogyny

Well thank fuck men would never, ever do that 🙄

I’ve read all the posts. Just because I haven’t engaged with some of the comments doesn’t mean both DH & I cant see that women can feel vulnerable when confronted by such sexual comments any normal person would. This does not make us misogynistic.
The fact that my OP has been twisted to suit the anti men agenda I can only conclude that the majority on here think it’s acceptable for women to make these remarks as it’s all talk thereby confirming opinion that double standards does exist exist. Believe you me some women can be very vocal and make men feel comfortable. I’ve witnessed it.
No one should be subjected to objectification or have sexual remarks made towards them.

I don’t hate men, I live with one who is a brilliant partner and father.

I’m always surprised though when people go on about an ‘anti men’ agenda as if it’s a surprise some women are beyond frustrated with / angry about the fact that 85% of violent crime and 90% of sexual violence is committed by men, around a third of women have been sexually assaulted or raped by men and 85% of women and girls have been sexually harassed (almost exclusively by men statically).

Getting angry at women for being “anti men,” when the stats on male violence look the way they do, is a strange hill to die on. The call is very much coming from inside the house.

Refusing to agree with the nonsensical and misogynist agenda that tries to frame women as the problem for men is not man hating.
I'm a mother of adult sons and have a male partner, and male friends. And because I care about them have actually bothered to do my research and apply my intelligence so I understand the real threats to their health and wellbeing. None of which involve the occasional instance of women acting in the way you describe.
If you discount those men with an axe to grind then you'd struggle to find one who'd put 'being objectified by women' in their list of concerns.
I'm not denying some women do this. It largely stems from a if you can beat em join em, sauce for the goose mentality that gained some popularity as a twisted misunderstanding of feminism in the 90s. It's poor behaviour and I don't defend it.
However you have embroidered and inflated this supposed incident with each subsequent post, and I'd question the motivation of anyone who feels the need to do this to prove a point about how bad women are.
You can care about men without deliberately maligning women. And others of us can challenging you on that without hating men.

Oh poor men

Totally - I wake up every morning worrying about the men, what will they do? The whole world seems to be against them.

I’m sure it happens but personally I’ve never heard anything as crude as that being said.

Perhaps you don't use public transport often. Almost half of women transport workers have been sexually harassed by male customers and colleagues. With instances including touching, being followed, coercion, sexually explicit language and assault. So, yes. You can be sure it happens. And that when it does its every bit as crude as the comments made about the male transport worker in your story, if not more so and with physical assault and intimidation thrown in.