Colleagues missed my birthday

[englishrosi3]

Every year in my small workplace we have a collection and buy a birthday present for whoever’s birthday it is. I run the birthday collections and buying of the gift. There are 8 of us and we usually contribute £10 each. Nobody complains about the out and they can out as much or as little as they want but £10 is average. I’ve topped it up a couple of times if it’s something that costs a little more.
it was my birthday last week and I didnt even get a card. I’m a bit upset about this and never want to get any of them anything ever again. Only 2 out of them wished me a happy birthday. I had been off work for two days as I went away with a friend and they knew this was happening and why I was off. I posted on Facebook photos of my birthday night away and caption it “birthday” they “liked” the pictures.
I do a lot to help everyone in their jobs as I’m the most senior and experienced there, I really appreciate all my colleagues and that they work well together.. I’m not in massively higher pay than them. I do things for them outside of work like help with lifts and picking up items they need if I pop out to the shops.
im often told I’m a kind and considerate person.

I know I’m a big girl and it’s just a birthday but I love to make a fuss of others and make them feel special and appreciated.

even things like if someone’s work anniversary eg they’ve been here a year I get them Starbucks or cinema voucher.

Also another update.

i only earn more because my kids are older so I work more days than the others and my prices are slightly higher given my years of experience.

They are definitely my colleagues and not my employees. we all rent a space in the beauty salon of which the owner of the salon retired but kept the business going making an income from rent.

How do you know they're happy to give the money? Just because they haven't said they're not happy? Honestly I think they would prefer not to, but don't like to tell you that because they don't want to upset you.

They clearly weren’t happy to give money for your gift. Knock it on the head, this is a clear message that you are the one keeping it going.

Based on your latest update it makes sense that you’d feel hurt, as over the years (months?) you've put a lot of time and thought into maintaining a sense of camaraderie. I get how important this is especially when you're self-employed, but maybe this is proof that the birthday collections have run their course. They depend solely on you to hold the organisation and emotional tone, even if everyone says they’re 'fine with it'. At this point I'd stop doing this completely. It doesn’t need to be framed as a reaction to being forgotten, just a practical decision that it’s not sustainable or fair. If people want to mark birthdays, they can do it informally without a system that places all the responsibility on you.

You've mentioned that they work less hours because they have younger children and that's probably another reason why a £10 collection several times a year might feel too taxing. It's a lot in the current climate.

Out of curiosity, is this the first time that your birthday has come around since setting up the system? And if it isn't, what happened in previous birthdays?

Oh dear. This is embarrassing for you considering the OP's update to say she and others rent a chair in a beauty salon!

How is it embarrassing for her? She’s quoting the op directly from another thread where she’s said something different about her career. Kind of embarrassing for you though 🥴.

I think I be upset too. Maybe now is time to stop doing it and its same ones left to organise it

Eh? -why on earth would I be embarrassed?- noone has ignored my birthday!

OP has clarified that she earns more than everyone else, they dont even work for the same business and doesnt seem to get that people under financial constraints might feel uncomfortable saying no.

Clearly, they dont want to continue doing this otherwise they would have in fact, bought her a gift wouldnt they?

It's blindingly obvious that, although this Birthday ritual is a big thing to you, this isn't in the slightest bit important to them. Just forget the whole thing from now on.