AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

[Iloveleaveinconditioner]

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

I did this once! There was some lovely bath stuff in a guest bathroom where I was staying for the night. It hasn't been used before but it was there in the bathroom so I didn't hesitate to use some in my bath. I commented to my host how lovely it was and she looked a bit shocked, said her son had given it to her as a present. She recovered VERY quickly and told me it was absolutely fine when I apologised but I definitely caught her look of surprise. So I sympathise with your guest! I might have sampled the perfumes kindly left by my host!

While I dont think you're being entirely unreasonable you did leave them on display in a guest room. If you didn't want them to be used then you should have put them away for the duration of the visit. I can't see the point in saving perfume as the fragrance does go off.

So if she had some bone china "on display in the guest room," (which I dispute; it was a closed storage cabinet) or perhaps jewelry, or valuable coins, or old bottles of costly wine, it would have been OK for the guest to reach in and help herself? Just because the items were in relative proximity to the bed the guest was allocated for a couple of nights?

I find that bizarre. £xx/ounce perfume is not the same as toothpaste or shampoo. To me it's akin to jewelry, expensive handbags, silk scarves and other accessories I wouldn't dream of helping myself to. Or high-priced collectibles such as coins or wine.

That wouldn't be the same thing at all. Perfumes are consumables clothes are not.

Perfumes are not "consumable" in the way toothpaste and shower gel are. At all. They are often-expensive luxuries one should know better than to help oneself to.

Chateau Lafite is consumable, too, but if I happened to store my multi-thousand-pound wine in the guest room cabinet, the guest would be wrong to drink it.

I don't know where people are getting the notion that it's ever OK to open doors, drawers and cabinets in someone else's house. It's not a hotel.

Well, they are though. Just a lot more expensive!

Mind you, I'm sure I can find some expensive high-end shower gel too if I look hard enough!

I think what this thread has shown the OP is that there is a massive mix of opinions, so it's harsh to be too cross with the guest when loads of us on here don't see it as an issue.

Absolutely! I do actually leave some nice Molten Brown shower gels etc out in the guest bathroom, and expect guests to help themselves. I've never actually told them to, but assume they'd feel comfortable enough to do so if they wanted to. Might need to be more explicit after having read this thread! 😅

As they are displayed in a cabinet, in the guest room, I would take that as a signal that they were there for use of the guest.

except that because it's not a hotel, it's rare to have a mini bar or to expect to make yourself tea/ coffee or have a bottle of wine in your room 😂

However, it's so usual and normal for most people to leave all kind of toiletries for their guests, or at worst to share, that it's not unreasonable or surprising that someone would think the perfume was for the guests.

If you display 15 perfumes in a guest room, most people will think they are unwanted, you don't use them yourself.

Exactly. Having loads open at a time and in the light just means they go off. I threw out hundreds of pounds worth of expensive perfumes after MIL died because of this, they had all gone to smell like cheap aftershave. ☹️

I wouldn’t. They were in a glass cabinet, so behind glass, rather than just being on an open shelf. You’d have to go in the cabinet, to get them out.

Curious to know what is a CF?

everything I put in our guest room is for guests to use - shower gel, shampoo, body moisturiser - whether it's in the shower or in the bathroom cabinet. I think you can't get too fussed - if she'd thought she wasn't supposed to use it she wouldn't have merrily mentioned it!

Cheeky fucker

Yes, most surely true 💚