AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

[Iloveleaveinconditioner]

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

I wouldn't dream of using someone else's perfume without asking, even if it was on display in the room I'm staying in. The same way that I wouldn't go rifling through the wardrobe and pick out some clothes for the day.

Fair enough, but they are in a cabinet behind a glass door so she’d have had to open it up and peruse. Not like I left them on her bed or anything!

I think the fact they were in her room was the confusion..

she probably thought they were there for using.

You left them on display in the guest room. They are items to be used, not usually ornamental. How is she to know they're not for guest use?

Either move them or lock them up.

This.

It seems a bit weird that she did that, but you did leave the perfumes in the room and you’re obviously not that attached to them otherwise you would immediately recognise them as your perfumes rather than something you smelled one time. It comes across like you like having them more than you like using them which is fine but lots ofother people don’t see perfume that way. If you just have them for the bottles then it doesn’t really matter if there’s liquid in them or not and bear in mind that the oils in perfumes degrade and denature over time and make the perfume start to have a rancid smell over the years as well, so it really is there to be used.

Well I wouldn’t have used them without asking, but I can easily see why she thought she could since you had them very openly on display in the guest bedroom. That’s a rather odd decision on your part IMO. I also like perfumes, though can’t afford a collection like yours, and I keep them all in my bedroom, with the only properly expensive one out of sight in a drawer.

I think perfume is personal, just because it was in the room doesn't mean she can use it. I would say she was cheeky.

I wouldn’t help myself to someone else’s perfume either but I can see why someone might think it was okay if they were in the guest bedroom anyway.

Things left in a guest room are often there for the guest to use. If it’s not clear that it is storage or purely display, or if the room is not obviously someone else’s room that has been temporarily vacated for the guest, then you should expect your guest to use the contents of the room.

”Getting my money’s worth “, though, is rude.

I think it’s slightly cheeky, but I also think anything you leave in a guest room, guests might help themselves to. It’s awkward if you’re using the room as partial storage/partial guest room. It’s not entirely clear what is supposed to be off limits.

That’s the last time I’d have them stay.

Does she ever invite you?

Depends on how close you are I think. I'd use my good friends perfume without asking. Wouldn't mind if they used mine either.

Both. She may have not realised the importance given they are on a guest bedroom so Yabu. But she’s a bit cheeky.

I would have assumed they were for guests to use too if they were in the guest room. If you have that many different ones I would probably have also assumed they were a variety on ones you had tried and not liked hence banishing them to the guest room.

Oh come on, the comment was surely a joke.----

She’s described as the wife of an ex colleague of her husband who she’s met 5 or 6 times over a period of years, so safe to assume not a ‘good friend’.

OP I think she was rude.

I think she was cheeky to say that she wanted to get her money's worth. However, the perfumes were in the guest room so she assumed that she could use them. When you showed her the guest room at the beginning, you should have told her whether she was allowed to use the perfumes or not.

For this reason, the guest is not at fault here.

Do you run it like an Airbnb? Is that what she meant by getting her money's worth?

Btw, glass can be "perused" through - she only needed to open the door it to handle it.

It was a bit rude but also why do you leave your perfumes on display exposed to light? Mine are in a box in a dark drawer.

I also didn't understand the comment about her getting her moneys worth. Did she pay you to stay?

We all know how expensive perfume is… she’s not your friend , she’s the wife of your dh friend. So definitely cheeky, and she knows it and doesn’t care. If you have her back, remove them and put some b&m sprays in there.. she will get the message (I admit to being petty though 😂)

I think she was very cheeky.
Most people don't have a room that is solely set up for the use of guests, usually it's a spare room and used for storage/ hobbies/ wfh etc.
I wouldn't assume I had free use of anything in the room, unless toiletries were place on the bed or something.
Does anyone have a collection of perfumes for their guests to use, really?

The fact they were in the guest room makes it fairly reasonable she thought you wanted her to try them on. Or at least didn't mind.

It's only a couple sprays of each, you wouldn't have noticed any missing if you hadn't have smelt it. And she wasn't trying to do it on the sly.

Having said that, I'd have probably done it once and gone up to you saying that I did so, and guage your reaction. Like asking if it's OK. Then obviously not do it again if you didn't look comfortable.

If you leave things out in a guest room, guests will use them