AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

[Iloveleaveinconditioner]

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

I'm bemused that you think this is an obvious invitation to try

OP your guest was cheeky and the "money's worth" comment would not have got a laugh from me.

Yeah, while I wouldn't have done it, she used them because they were in the room she was allocated. That's on you, I think.

It wouldn't even occur to me NOT to use 5p worth of perfume, already in the room, in someone else's house.It's such a minor thing I wouldn't think people got upset over.

If you all get on well, I wouldn't over-think it and ruin the friendship.

Personally, I wouldn't care at all if a friend borrowed a perfume. So maybe she has a similar attitude to me and just never considered it was a faux pas? Seems on here opinions are quite divided, so quite possible that she would have had no idea.

All of this. Do people people really make use of everything they find in a guest room?! A friend of mine uses her guest room as an over spill room for her wardrobe. I wouldn't dream of helping myself to her stuff. She was rude, OP, if you really want a spritz of perfume, you should ask. And that 'getting her money's worth ' comment, would have pissed me off. She's not a friend of yours. But, lesson learned, if you don't want people to touch it, don't leave it in the guest room.

It is incredibly rude, and I am very surprised at the responses on this thread. I think some people just like to say that an OP is unreasonable regardless of the subject matter.

If I stayed at someone's house, I would never use their perfume. If you had a dressing table full of your cosmetics, would she have used your lipstick and mascara too?

This - I would have assumed they were a quirky collection of things for guests to use. If there's hand lotion or sunscreen (or a robe and slippers) in the guest room, or shampoo and conditioner in the guest bath, I would assume it was for me to use - why not perfume? I often put nice brands of things that didn't happen to work for me in the guest room. However, this thread may be dividing down the 'perfume-wearers' and 'non-perfume-wearers' line-perhaps people who wear it regularly feel it's more personal /an obvious overstep than people who don't (like me).

Bit unusual but you did leave them in the guest room.

I voted yanbu, but then saw they were on display in your guest room where she was staying. I think that's why she thought they were for her use

The comment was weird.

I wouldn't be bothered by someone using my perfume/toiletries if they were staying with me.

What's the point of having perfume for display and not use?

This.

It’s common to leave toiletries etc in guest rooms for guests to use.

Genuinely, she would never step foot in my house again! It’s so incredibly rude to do this! Was she rifling through your bathroom cabinets too? Christ on a bike, she should be shamed to be caught out - not making jokes! No class whatsoever!

I might have tried one or two but it was a bit cheeky of her to use them every day. But you just need to put it down to a misunderstanding.

What a bollocks post. I was brought up with manners. And taught how to be a good host. And a basic premise of hosting is that when you set up a spare room, you equip it with things to make your guest's stay more comfortable and enjoyable. I cant say I have ever left perfume out but if its there, on display for guests, yes, they can use it. And certainly, my mum would often leave basic things like cotton wool pads, carafe for water, a small biscuits tin etc.

Just like if I had space for a guest bathroom, I would absolutely put out extra soap/bubble bath etc to make it nice for guests or, now they have to share the family bathroom, make it clear they are welcome to use anything thats out.

That's good hosting. Vs shoving them in a room you use as a storeroom.and expecting them to know what is for use and what isnt.

Cheeky to have used I'd have asked but most likely wouldn't have touched. Tbh all that's sticking in my head is they'll start to smell off.I left expensive perfume in the bathroom with sunlight hitting the bottle and it smelled vile after.

The comments about "getting my moneys worth" would have pissed me off!

Is this room set up hotel style and it's only use is as a 'guest room'? I've seen on Instagram untouched, immaculate spare rooms ready for overnight guests and kitted out with all you'd expect, and more, from a luxury hotel room. Perfumes included in this room might be seen as a nice extra, but unnecessary, touch.
Is the room a random dumping ground, spare room with no actual day to day use that has a bed in for anyone to sleep in? Again, perfumes in here might be old, forgotten ones that no-one bothers with and fine for spraying a tiny bit to test
If the room was someone's bedroom, filled with their stuff and they've slept elsewhere to let visitors sleep in their bed, obviously that stuff is out of bounds.

It's probably not the best thing to use someone's perfume but if it was only a small squirt and not half the bottle and it wasn't 100% clear if it was there to be used by visitors, then not the end of the world.

Presumably she thought they were guest toiletries for them to use as they were in the guest room.

Does a couple of squirts really matter? You're being selfish and stingy.

Is it really a big deal? She used a handful of sprays of perfume. She's your friend. It's not like she raided your knicker drawer or shagged your husband.

Don't be so ridiculous 😂😂

I would assume they were put there because they were perfumes you didn’t like and wanted the bottles to be used by guests, rather than go to waste.

You had guests to stay and one of them spent time stealing your perfume?

i would go nuclear that is such liberty

I've always thought the etiquette was that in a designated guest room (as oppose to a multi purpose spare room you give guests to sleep when required) everything placed there is for the use of guests.