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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking DD’s to Disneyland separately

351 replies

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 17:59

My in-laws are convinced this is a totally awful plan and we’ve lost our mind so I’m looking for some opinions. We have 2 DDs. DD1 is 4 and DD2 is 2.
We are thinking for DDs 5th birthday we want to take her to Disneyland Paris for a couple of days. The way it works out is DDs school close for summer on the Friday, we will do a party on the Sunday, her birthday is the Tuesday and then Thursday-Sunday (I know busy days) Disneyland Paris. I don’t think we should take DD2 with us as I want it to be a special birthday treat for DD1. Then in a couple of years when it’s DD2s 5th birthday we can do the same.
I feel especially since DD1 started school that we just don’t get very much time with her alone now, especially not with DH too and I’d love to spoil her a little for her birthday. It wouldn’t replace our main summer holiday it would be an add on so DD2 wouldn’t actually be missing out.
My in-laws think it might be fine this time but I’m asking for hell when it’s DD2’s turn and DD1 is 7.

AIBU to want to talk DDs to Disneyland on separate trips?

OP posts:
NotmyfirstRodeomyfriend · 30/10/2025 18:13

I think it’s fine to want to do things 1-1 with your kids, I do it with my older ones, however I do agree with your PIL’s that going to Disney with the younger one when the older one is 7 won’t go down well. Your 2 year old now won’t really know what’s going on….

Helpwithdivorce · 30/10/2025 18:15

I agree with your inlaws. Your 7 year old will be distraught if you go without her when your youngest turns 5

Tilly91 · 30/10/2025 18:16

Could you not take them both and take it in turns to go round disneyland with dd1 so she gets lots of 1-1 time?

Original poster
Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:17

Helpwithdivorce · 30/10/2025 18:15

I agree with your inlaws. Your 7 year old will be distraught if you go without her when your youngest turns 5

I do understand she will be a bit envious but part of me thinks it’s a good teaching opportunity. We can look back at pictures/videos of when she went and DD2 didn’t and make sure she gets up to all sorts of fun with my parents that weekend?

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 30/10/2025 18:17

I agree with your in laws. You can decide that it’s worth it because they’ll both get their special birthday treat, but I do think it’s unavoidable that you’ll have a very very upset 7 yr old.

Original poster
Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:19

Tilly91 · 30/10/2025 18:16

Could you not take them both and take it in turns to go round disneyland with dd1 so she gets lots of 1-1 time?

We could but what I’m really craving is time just DD1, DH and I. We get plenty of time DD2, DH and I as DH and I both don’t work on Wednesday afternoons, but now DD is in school we don’t get any time where we both get to spoil her with attention. I also feel a little robbed of time with DD1 as when she was DD2s age we had a newborn so couldn’t really enjoy a lot of time with her alone.

OP posts:
Helpwithdivorce · 30/10/2025 18:19

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:17

I do understand she will be a bit envious but part of me thinks it’s a good teaching opportunity. We can look back at pictures/videos of when she went and DD2 didn’t and make sure she gets up to all sorts of fun with my parents that weekend?

Show quote history

Yeah you could do that. But it’ll probably just make her more upset reminding her about all the things she’s missing out on.
If you’ve got the money for 2 Disney trips take them both twice.
Alternatively take them both to Paris now. Then both to Florida when they are both older and more able to enjoy it

Griseleda · 30/10/2025 18:19

No it’s unkind. It’s like saying to a can have Christmas this year and your sibling has it next year.

BlackCatGoesHome · 30/10/2025 18:20

Waste of time taking a two year old. Speaking from experience.

Thatstheheatingon · 30/10/2025 18:21

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:17

I do understand she will be a bit envious but part of me thinks it’s a good teaching opportunity. We can look back at pictures/videos of when she went and DD2 didn’t and make sure she gets up to all sorts of fun with my parents that weekend?

Show quote history

Teaching opportunity! Ffs
A two year old missing out on a trip won't care, a 7 year old will. It's not the same at all.
Plus, the big expense is paying for the adults. You may as well give the family two trips to Disneyland with all of you there.

Original poster
Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:21

Griseleda · 30/10/2025 18:19

No it’s unkind. It’s like saying to a can have Christmas this year and your sibling has it next year.

Is it though? Or is it the same as one getting a phone 11 and the other having to wait 2 more years? Or one getting a car at 17 and the other waiting 2 more years.
I don’t really think DD2 will have much appreciation or endurance for Disneyland in July.
I think my in-laws are more worried about 2 years down the line when it’s DD2s then and DD1 doesn’t get to go.

OP posts:
Helpwithdivorce · 30/10/2025 18:22

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:19

We could but what I’m really craving is time just DD1, DH and I. We get plenty of time DD2, DH and I as DH and I both don’t work on Wednesday afternoons, but now DD is in school we don’t get any time where we both get to spoil her with attention. I also feel a little robbed of time with DD1 as when she was DD2s age we had a newborn so couldn’t really enjoy a lot of time with her alone.

Show quote history

Then take her somewhere else. Just not Disneyland. I’ve got 2 girls who are also 2 years apart and I couldn’t take one to Disney and not the other. I couldn’t do it to them

Rtmhwales · 30/10/2025 18:22

I really wouldn’t do this. You might be creating core memories for their 5th birthdays for sure, but you could also be creating a negative core memory for a 7 year old who felt left behind. Especially with it being Disneyland. I have a 7 year old who’s very mature. He 100% would not understand or empathize if I did this with his younger sibling right now.

Original poster
Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:22

Thatstheheatingon · 30/10/2025 18:21

Teaching opportunity! Ffs
A two year old missing out on a trip won't care, a 7 year old will. It's not the same at all.
Plus, the big expense is paying for the adults. You may as well give the family two trips to Disneyland with all of you there.

Show quote history

The expense isn’t what we are considering, it’s quality time and a special treat for both girls for their 5th birthdays where they don’t have to share us with their sister.

OP posts:
Thatstheheatingon · 30/10/2025 18:22

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:19

We could but what I’m really craving is time just DD1, DH and I. We get plenty of time DD2, DH and I as DH and I both don’t work on Wednesday afternoons, but now DD is in school we don’t get any time where we both get to spoil her with attention. I also feel a little robbed of time with DD1 as when she was DD2s age we had a newborn so couldn’t really enjoy a lot of time with her alone.

Show quote history

So, take her and leave the smaller one at home if you think she won't care. Then all 4 of you go the next time.

LivingOnTheVeg · 30/10/2025 18:22

I don’t think you can expect a 7-year-old to not be upset that she doesn’t get to go, even if she’s been before. If I were you I’d take them both and arrange something special with just the older one. Like take her to the princess makeover or for a special dinner or something.

purpleme12 · 30/10/2025 18:23

No. It's just no.

Do other things one to one.

Do Disney as a family

Helpwithdivorce · 30/10/2025 18:23

The 2 year old isn’t the problem. The problem is your future 7 year old. Who will know and will absolutely care. Honestly she will probably resent you for the rest of her life

IHateWasps · 30/10/2025 18:24

No that’s just mean and she can still have a special birthday treat with her sister present surely? It’d be more fun for her with another child there. And yes you are indeed asking for trouble when your eldest is 7.

BadgerFace · 30/10/2025 18:24

I took DD1 to DL Paris when she was 4 the June before she started school with my best mate and her 4 year old. DD2 was 2 and I left her at home with DH. It was definitely the right idea, we had a great time without a toddler to deal with.

We'd planned to go as a family of 4 when DD2 was a similar age although Covid ruined that for us as it was booked a year in advance for May 2020… By that time they were 4 and 7 and I think DD2 would have been disappointed if her big sister wasn’t there! DD1 would have been upset to have been left behind as she LOVED the rollercoasters when we went and I think it’s fine I had that adventure with DD1 and haven’t done the same for DD2 when the family dynamics are different when they are older.

But that’s our family dynamics for that particular trip. I think it’s fine to do things separately. DH has taken DD1 to Paris and DD2 to Lille. I am thinking of a trip to New York with DD1 when she is an early teen but that might not suit DD2 at the same age.

At some point in the future DD1 will have left home and DD2 will probably have family holidays without her, when I am paying for 3 rather than 4 the luxury value might increase!

I’d take your older DD now and enjoy it and not overthink it. You can reassess how everyone feels when DD2 is 5…

ShesTheAlbatross · 30/10/2025 18:25

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:21

Is it though? Or is it the same as one getting a phone 11 and the other having to wait 2 more years? Or one getting a car at 17 and the other waiting 2 more years.
I don’t really think DD2 will have much appreciation or endurance for Disneyland in July.
I think my in-laws are more worried about 2 years down the line when it’s DD2s then and DD1 doesn’t get to go.

Show quote history

I don’t think people are saying it’s unfair on the younger child having to wait though

Flakey99 · 30/10/2025 18:25

Don’t take the 2nd old this year as they won’t remember any of it, but you absolutely must include the 7yr old when you take the younger sibling in 3 yrs time.

To be honest, I’d leave going until the youngest is 5 and then take them both for their first visit. Your 5yr old DD won’t remember much of it until they’re a bit older anyway.

We moved house when DS was 5 and he’s a teenager now and has zero recollection of living somewhere else for the first five years.

TheCosyViewer · 30/10/2025 18:26

I don't think it's a good idea at all. You can be sure when your youngest is 5 you won't bring her on holiday by herself as your oldest will then be 9 yo and she will be very upset that you aren't taking her, so will then bring her along or you'll tell yourself that that your youngest will enjoy it more with her big sister.

SALaw · 30/10/2025 18:26

Weird

Tilly91 · 30/10/2025 18:26

Hilowmaybeno · 30/10/2025 18:19

We could but what I’m really craving is time just DD1, DH and I. We get plenty of time DD2, DH and I as DH and I both don’t work on Wednesday afternoons, but now DD is in school we don’t get any time where we both get to spoil her with attention. I also feel a little robbed of time with DD1 as when she was DD2s age we had a newborn so couldn’t really enjoy a lot of time with her alone.

Show quote history

I can understand that. 💐 I think the trip with dd1 now will work fine as your 2 year old is too little to understand, but it will be very difficult when dd1 is left behind, she'll be old enough to feel very upset at missing out but not old enough to understand that it's fair because she had her turn already. The only way I could see it working is if her grandparents take her somewhere she'd be just as excited about as disneyland when you're away. X