To think that I can go to this baby class?

[Gerbera55]

Background info:
A friend and I are both teachers so have an understanding of how language development works and how important it is. I am a mum to a 12 week old.
My council have released information about a language development focus baby class they are going to run at a local children’s centre. They haven’t announced cost yet, but based on other classes I have seen, it will likely be free or very low cost.
I saw my friend today and she asked about any classes I have been doing with baby. I told her about the baby massage and sensory classes I have been doing. I mentioned the language development class to her and she told me she thinks I shouldn’t go because I know how to support my baby’s language development, so I should leave the spaces for mums from low income families who can’t afford classes or for those parents who need support with language development.
In one sense I can see where she’s coming from, but equally my maternity pay won’t stretch to the more expensive classes for much longer and also I want to do as much as possible to support my child’s language development, especially with them being August born.

AIBU?

That’s the kind of rubbish my mum would come out with too! (Apparently I shouldn’t shop in charity shops as I should leave it for the less fortunate 🙄)

It’s exactly made for mums like you! Go and enjoy yourself and meet likeminded parents! have a lovely time.

If it’s council run then it might be eligibility is dependant upon being in receipt of certain benefits or being known to social services.

I agree with your friend. Pay for classes and leave these free ones for the people they are meant to target. This is part of the reason we don't have SureStart any more. The "sharp elbowed" middle classes living in gentrified areas and taking away the resources from those most deprived. I do find it really selfish, I have to say.

No they typically arent but don't always have a way of ensuring those most in need benefit before those most in the know.

I think you should go! It’s not like there’s some big long waiting list and you’re actively taking someone else’s place. I’m sure there’s room for both!

At 12 weeks, any form of baby class is completely pointless for the baby, and is purely for the accompanying parent who wants to get out if the house. Your baby doesn’t need his language development supported any more than he needs a massage.

I’m about as far from middle class living in a gentrified area as you can get! 😂

Yes this is a valid point although other classes they’ve run haven’t had any criteria such as this.

Youre a professional on maternity leave, a teacher right? What does your husband/partner do? Do you own your house or privately rent it?

You are perfectly entitled to go. Providers also have ways to target classes to those in need. If this one's open access, you are as entitled as anyone else to go! There are benefits for you and your baby, beyond just the language development. Go without feeling self conscious and just leave your friend to it.

I love a charity shop - I also donate plenty so hopefully your mum will be happy with that! 😂

Of course you can go if you want to. I can’t see an issue. Teachers are not millionaires 😆

’Gentrified area’ - didn’t realise you could see where I lived through Mumsnet.

It doesnt matter. In fact, if you don't live in a gentrified area, it is likely that the most disadvantaged children this is aimed at are even worse off than they are in an urban gentrified area. So in my view, it would be even more selfish.

What does ‘being August born’ have to do with language development?

I completely agree baby massage was so I could get out of the house and find a few mum friends, baby actually just napped in every session and woke up for the last 5 minutes without fail!

Baby would actually be older than 12 weeks as it isn’t starting until the new year but that may not change your opinion.

It's actually important these classes are see as desirable and attended by the middle classes as well as target groups because that stops them becoming stigmatised and is better for social mixing.

These courses are often “use it or lose it” type things. If enough people go then they will keep on offering them for.

Unless there is a big waiting list or set criteria then go and enjoy it!

It doesn’t but I have seen lots of August born children who have struggled at school due to being a whole year younger than their counterparts. Equally I’ve seen some August born children thrive - doesn’t mean I don’t worry that my child might fall into the former camp. Therefore I want to do everything I can to support my child.

I think you’re fine to go.

If your friend is right that you know a lot about it already it might be quite dull though.

this is also true.

We have a school uniform exchange locally, but at the moment they have an excess of uniform because people who need it often won’t because they worry about the stigma around it. If these things are normalised it helps them become accessible to all so everyone can benefit.

Community support should be open to all as much as possible

Eta - wrong quote.

Nobody mixes at these classes. What typically happens is that the less advantaged mothers feel intimidated and alienated by the middle classed women and stop attending. Then it is left to those women while their husbands save up for new DJ equipment and other expensive hobbies as well as family holidays and a loft conversion.

And that’s why the councils often stop being able to get the funds to run the classes.

OP do you want to improve your child’s language skills or do you just want to get out to socialise? If it’s the latter, then often there are free (or £1) classes run at libraries, churches or local NCT groups where you can meet up with others.

'also I want to do as much as possible to support my child’s language development'
The class won't about the child learning a skill though. It'll be directed at the parents, and in this scenario is usually aimed at parents who don't know what they have to do to support their child.
I run a baby group and we have a health visitor come and deliver similar sessions and it's all about talking to your baby, not staring at your phone all the time, not putting the baby in front of the TV all day.
The babies that go won't have any advantage over yours. However, of course you can go if you want to!

You should go. These classes are often under utilized and end up not running in the future. Bums on seats is good.