To think that I can go to this baby class?

[Gerbera55]

Background info:
A friend and I are both teachers so have an understanding of how language development works and how important it is. I am a mum to a 12 week old.
My council have released information about a language development focus baby class they are going to run at a local children’s centre. They haven’t announced cost yet, but based on other classes I have seen, it will likely be free or very low cost.
I saw my friend today and she asked about any classes I have been doing with baby. I told her about the baby massage and sensory classes I have been doing. I mentioned the language development class to her and she told me she thinks I shouldn’t go because I know how to support my baby’s language development, so I should leave the spaces for mums from low income families who can’t afford classes or for those parents who need support with language development.
In one sense I can see where she’s coming from, but equally my maternity pay won’t stretch to the more expensive classes for much longer and also I want to do as much as possible to support my child’s language development, especially with them being August born.

AIBU?

Babies all over the world, since time immemorial, have learned to speak perfectly well without going to a class. The class is for parents who don’t realise they need to talk to, read to and generally pay attention to, their babies. You probably don’t come into that category. But it’s fine to attend for other reasons ie you want to socialise out of the house.

Rubbish! We don’t have sure start because all the funding was pulled.

To be a teacher, you’ve got a degree you’d understand basic stuff about language development you don’t need the class you’re taking it from someone who needs that for a bit of funThat’s what happens.

How would she be taking the opportunity away from someone else if the class isn't full?

This thread is bonkers. Councils run some targeted groups and classes, they will specify criteria or social workers etc will invite people who really need to attend. They also run classes that have no criteria, that anyone is free to attend. If people don't use these groups, councils will stop running them and those that truly need them in the future will miss out

Tough shit. OP and her baby are as deserving as any other mother and child. It is not her responsibility to put herself second to anyone else. If someone less well off wants their baby to benefit then they'll just have to get their names down first won't they? Like everyone else.

Lost me at ‘babies’ and ‘classes’. It’s only quite recently babies seem to need classes to do anything babies or small children have always done as part of natural development. Someone was telling me of their DD that takes a baby to one where they do music and shake rattles in their face or something. Seemingly, without this the child will never be musical. I guess Mozart and anyone else with talent before these classes missed the memo on that one🤣.

My kids never went to language classes. To be 100% honest, we just got them to watch Sesame Street every weekday as it had the letter and number of the day. That, together with a preschool a few days a week for school readiness purposes once they turned 3yo, did the trick. They all got into their desired uni courses (some of which were extremely competitive). They didn’t need classes as babies to achieve this, although I can’t speak to what may have been the case without Sesame Street🤣🤣🤣. I think a lot of the worry these days are from the parents own making.

Exactly. It's also positive for everyone to mix with people from different backgrounds. In the past, certain places were only for white middle class men, and some say you can still tell a person who has only ever mixed with someone like themselves. Encouraging everyone to feel welcome, regardless of class, race, religion or gender is important.
To an extent, I agree that baby classes are more for the mums/dads than for picking up specific skills (though one friend swears the massage class helped with colic), but that's not always a bad thing. Depression can strike a rich person just as much, and my HV said that professional women are less likely, on average, to have support systems, so the centres are especially important. She was very encouraging of all people using the classes-as she said, if they feel some groups should only be used by certain target groups, they'll say.
And some people make friends for life, and their children too, at these groups.

I mean, you might learn something new and should be allowed to do that for your baby. Also the class might not be full. If someone with less knowledge’ is interested they’ll go on the next one. Weird.

This. if you dont go they might stop running them.

These classes are for everyone and I think you should go, if they aren't used they stop running them. Unless you have to put your name down for a space your taking nothing from someone who is disadvantaged.

You’re getting very angry over a stranger.

A professor of linguistics would not find out any new information - they teach child language development in depth!

Of course you should go to the class. Maybe the content won't be completely new but that doesn't mean it won't have some useful insights.

We can't second guess whether we should or shouldn't use a particular service. If a service needs to be restricted, that usually means it's because it's very expensive to run or demand outstrips supply. If they needed to restrict the class for any reason, they would introduce a way of 'gatekeeping', like ensuring that it was only open to parents referred by a health or social care professional.

I saw a couple of comments on this thread about Sure Start. I just wanted to highlight that was an extremely successful programme that had huge benefits, especially for disadvantaged children. The decision to reduce the service was entirely political and not because so called entitled parents started to use it.

ifs.org.uk/publications/short-and-medium-term-effects-sure-start-childrens-outcomes

These type of courses and groups rely on people showing up so they can secure funding to continue running. So I’d say go

You absolutely can go to the class if it is advertised as open to all. If the council running it only wanted to target a specific demographic they would have an inclusion criteria such as being in receipt of certain benefits, or make it referral only so you could only go if referred by your health visitor or social worker for example.

Personally, if you talk to your baby, avoid
screens, sing/read to them a bit that will be enough to develop their language. But classes are really helpful for all parents of all backgrounds. They connect you with your community, reduce isolation and obviously they are good for your baby too.

Often many of the language development classes are referral only anyway for children who have been identified as having speech delay but who are waiting to see a speech therapist so you may not be eligible.

Check out local libraries as often they do singing and story time which are good for babies language development.

God I'm so glad we can now afford that 80k loft conversion because I sucked up to the pta and didn't have to spend £10 on a jumper!

OP I'm a teacher and my child did end up with a speech delay so I went to some of these classes. I taught 7 year olds so wasn't an expert on early language. If you think it will be useful then just go. Don't overthink it. Your friend isn't in charge of the classes.

Came here to say what @SomethingInnocuousForNow and @Sirzy have said, it’s actively good if a range of people use these sorts of things - the whole point of sure-start was that it was this amazing universal leveller - if ‘middle class’ typed people also use these services it means getting early years help becomes less stigmatised, which is exactly what everyone wants - the whole point is for these things to be generally accessed and ‘the standard’ for parents - plus more social mixing is a great thing for everyone - also ad @Sirzy says if people don’t go these places lose funding for stuff like this - if there’s a huge waiting list of disadvantaged people wanting these classes that you’re elbowing out of the way that’s one thing but I bet that’s not the case!

Loved Sure Start. My kids made lifelong friends at those classes. I did too. I learnt loads. It's one of the reasons our circle in our local area is so broad. And supportive. I'm so glad not one of those families was branded either selfish or deprived.

Years ago I did a PEEP course at the Children's Centre. Places were first offered to targeted families, and spare places opened up to others who expressed an interest.

It wasn't groundbreaking information, but it was fun, interesting and reassuring. I went "for" DS2 but DS1 tagged along. DS1 was begining to slip into a speech delay which went on to require intervention and eventually resulted in an autism diagnosis years later. Knowing that I'd been doing things "right" was helpful. There were also little things that flagged up like DS1's prolonged attention span that came in handy down the line; I didn't think it was unusual for a 2yo to concentrate on his craft for 15-20 mins because it was his normal, but the senior member of staff was very surprised by it.

If the course is avaliable to you, go for it!

This is such a good point.

What a load of prejudices and nonsense has been spouted

anxiety over a baby class is a waste of energy , go or don’t , I expect much of it could be found online easier

I feel very passionately about open access to these centres - just because you earn a middle class wage or more, or are educated, or come from a middle class background, it does not mean that these classes aren't useful for both parents and kids. When I had my twins the local children's centres were an absolute lifeline for me - I was living in a place where I knew no one, let alone other mums, off the back of a traumatic pregnancy, doing long days alone with two screaming premature babies, not a clue what I was doing, useless HV, and probably pretty severe PND.

The children's centres gave a lot of tips and knowledge that I wouldn't have known without them. They also did a great job at cutting through the dross that was bombarding me on social media and actually gave me some confidence in what I was doing. I built a community there - with a really varied mix of backgrounds and incomes. Sometimes I think the real issue is with accessibility - a paid for class just felt so far away from achievable for me and my boys in those early days, whereas a local, walkable open access baby group was just about feasible.

I am an oxbridge educated professional and generally pretty privileged. It doesn't mean I didn't desperately need the help and I really do think that these areas should be open to all no matter your background.

I would go. When I was on mat leave I attended all different classes. Not sure what people mean about councils then stopping the courses if only certain people attend? Surely the more people that attend the better!

The children’s centres in our area are also called Family Hubs - they’re all in deprived areas, but attended by people from all across the city, regardless of income.

If the course is open access, please attend - it’s highly unlikely it will be full or oversubscribed, and actually if it is and you end up on a waiting list, that’s actually good in terms of funding for further cycles of the course.

I attend a stay and play session with my LO at the Family Hub nearest me - it ostensibly has a ‘focus’ each week (language, listening, movement etc.) in terms of discussion, but actually in reality it is just a group of babies and their mums talking, playing, and helping each other where possible. I’d hazard a guess not one person there could tell you the income or social class of another person there, although logic dictates it must span a fairly wide gap. All that being said, there has never been more than 8 mums/babies at a session, and it’s usually 4 or 5 pairs instead - they’ve asked for us to mention the sessions at any other groups we attend, as it really is a ‘use it or lose it’ situation.

And just to add, SureStart closed because of austerity and the Tories, who had no actual insight into what the centres did and how invaluable they were - it was nothing to do with the social demographic who did or didn’t access them.