To think that I can go to this baby class?

[Gerbera55]

Background info:
A friend and I are both teachers so have an understanding of how language development works and how important it is. I am a mum to a 12 week old.
My council have released information about a language development focus baby class they are going to run at a local children’s centre. They haven’t announced cost yet, but based on other classes I have seen, it will likely be free or very low cost.
I saw my friend today and she asked about any classes I have been doing with baby. I told her about the baby massage and sensory classes I have been doing. I mentioned the language development class to her and she told me she thinks I shouldn’t go because I know how to support my baby’s language development, so I should leave the spaces for mums from low income families who can’t afford classes or for those parents who need support with language development.
In one sense I can see where she’s coming from, but equally my maternity pay won’t stretch to the more expensive classes for much longer and also I want to do as much as possible to support my child’s language development, especially with them being August born.

AIBU?

Your posts really do come across as very unpleasant. You seem to have a very black and white view on who is most deserving of these classes, uniform etc. It is never that black and white in real life though. Maybe try removing the large chip on your shoulder and try seeing something from a perspective other than your limited experience.

Worth trying but I wouldn't be surprised if you find it's not giving you any information you didn't already have so maybe plan to try it to see if it's actually useful.

What do they do in a sensory class?

It's for whoever needs it or wants it. It's probably beneficial to lots of mums, whether they are PhD educated professors of linguistics or cleaners who's first language isn't English.

Just ignore your friend. Presumably if you go and it's all stuff you know already then you just won't go back?

I think you should go if you want to. I honestly think it would be a waste of time though! You know how to support language and I think nothing benefits a child's language more than. Being surrounded by close adults/friends/ peers having coffee or a play date all chatting to each other- that is language and communication. You don't a class to show you how to do that!
As for 'these classes should be for the
disadvantaged! Oh get in the bin with that! So, some mothers should pay over the odds for more expensive classes because they have the audacity to have good jobs, with good incomes and their own homes? Yeah okay.

This is what my HV told me

I think we should increase uptake from people who need it most.

How?

I lived in a more 'deprived' area when I had my first child and loved the free 'baby rhymes' and 'language and play' type courses I could access. I don't think I was necessarily the 'target' (have a degree, average income) but they were undersubscribed usually, so I wasn't taking anyone's place and I don't think they'd have run if people like me hadn't gone, and people who needed them more would have missed out. I did laugh once when they group leader was talking about the programme being designed by speech and language therapists and one of the mums was a speech therapist, so probably didn't 'need' it, but she enjoyed the course like everyone else.

When I had my second I'd moved to a more 'middle class' area, where nothing was free, and I really missed those sessions. Now I was one of the least well off on classes I was paying for, which were less good quality than the free ones because they were a business, rather than working to an educational goal.

The organisers can put criteria on they if they want, so if you are eligible, of course you can go!

Um, am a bit confused by the mentions of sure start... how does middle class mums also attending cause them to close???

I loved our local one. I went there with my eldest and then my twins. With my eldest it was totally invaluable to me. I dont tend to think much in terms of class, but others on this thread have classified teachers as middle class so let's go with that. I was devastated that it closed. I never "took a space" from anyone - it was busy but not ever full. It had a real mix of different people as it was recommended by HV and midwives during the health checks. Different cultures, different backgrounds. Really few that earned more than me (part time teacher - not a banker or anything!), all friendly and supportive. I dont see how the presence of a couple of "middle class mum" if that's what i was would cause it to close????

I work developing these kinds of services with family hubs and children centres. They are for everyone in the area. Every parent needs to build their village. Ignore nonsense from @YourLuckyBrickOtter, if numbers are too low the services won’t be commissioned again and the money will go elsewhere!
Language and communication can be supported from before birth so the people saying that 12 weeks is too early suggests more general education on this is definitely needed!

If you see above, I mentioned 2 ways that I noticed as a user myself. One was not having classes early in the day and the other was provision for older children. This may vary according to where you live and the particular needs of that population.

Because it didn't improve outcomes in targeted groups. This isnt only true of Sure Start but also similar programs.

I don’t think you’d be wrong to go, but I’m not sure how useful it would actually be to you. Obviously I don’t know the specific class you’re referring to, but the ‘language development’ group ran by our council really isn’t aimed at parents wanting to do ‘as much as they can’, but rather those who have no
idea what to do.

I volunteered at a breastfeeding group, and we followed on from the language development group. I was often there getting easy when the language group was running.
It was a BRILLIANT resource for the community, but the focus was more prevention/early correction of poor and/or ill informed parenting. There was heavy focus on encouraging reading to your child, the children were given a copy of Dear Zoo one week, and several parents queried why they needed to read to a child who didn’t yet understand. Crayons were handed out one week, to encourage mark making. Lots of the parents said they didn’t gave them at home, because they thought their child was too young. There was also a great emphasis on talking to your child, even through they can’t talk back. Every week they tried desperately to get the parents to sign up for the local library, and encourage those who’d they’d managed to previously sign up to use it, attend the rhyme time groups etc.
There was amazing resources for parents whose children were struggling with speech, partly because English was their parents’ second language. They also were brilliant at trying to build the confidence of parents with low literacy skills themselves, so that they would feel more comfortable reading with their children.

As I say, it was an amazing offering, and those that needed could get so much out of it. I’m not sure there would be any real benefit to everyone through. I believe although, I could be wrong, they eventually changed it to referral only, and you had to contact them with concerns, or get your health visitor to sign you up.

That’s a bit like saying that because i` have multiple degrees in English/Lit my children didn’t need to go to school to learn to read and write, isn’t it?

Book your place and go. You’ll learn lots to support your child and to embed practical applications of knowledge in a way that may inform your teaching practice.

None of this is relevant if the classes are offered to all new mothers free of charge.

Your child is hard wired to learn language and you don't need a special class for it. All you need to do to support your baby's language development is talk to him/her. A lot. And read him/her books from the get go. You think Shakespeare's mother went to special language classes?

Sometimes they need to prove the class is used by a minimum number of people to keep the funding for it so if it isn't over-subscribed they might welcome you regardless of need. Your baby will still benefit even if it's not quite making the difference it would for the target audience. But also I know teachers who give their own kids excess screen time so being a teacher doesn't seem to automatically mean you wouldn't need this class (I'm sure you don't give your baby smartphone time).

My area is very affluent (I'm not actually from here, I'm from a poor city next door but due to homelessness and DV ended up here). Our schools PTA(?) does uniform sales very often & everyone buys uniform from there! It's great because I don't feel judged for it. In my actual area where I'm from, it would be frowned upon for sure.

Unless the class is bursting at the seams, I really wouldn't worry about taking a spot from someone more deserving. 🙄If you want to go, do it! If it's funded by the council, your taxes are helping pay for it, after all.

My reservation would be that it would be pitched at quite a low level, saying lots of common sense things like, speak to your baby, look at them while you talk, narrate what you do, read them stories, don't stick them in front of a screen, don't walk around with your headphones on. More like what you might consider basic parenting if you had a decent childhood yourself. There's a reason you're not the target demographic for the classes.

Just talk to your baby, sing to her/him, show picture books and talk about the pictures. Classes may well be very good, certainly for meeting other parents, but hardly necessary if you’re able to do the above.

I’m a teacher and I went to the free classes at the local family hub. I couldn’t afford to go to loads of posh, paid-for ones. The ones I went to were never full, so I didn’t worry about stealing a place from someone else.

I also want my child to mix with different people locally and not just grow up in a gentrified bubble where he only meets people who are the same social class as him. OP, as a teacher you probably know it can be damaging when people don’t mix properly. In my area it’s leading to a lot of school closures (mine might be next!). Don’t listen to your friend.

Also, how would you know how to support your baby’s language development any more than anybody else? When they’re 4, yeah maybe, but I didn’t have a clue about anything really when I had a baby because I don’t teach newborn babies.

For goodness sake, of course you are perfectly welcome to go. Your baby needs social contact with other people who are experiencing the same issue, as do you.

Enjoy x

I would absolutely go.

If the class was advertised as being primarily for any particular group of people (criteria you didn't meet) then that would be different. But just because it's run by the council doesn't mean it's targeted at any group in particular! Would people say it's not fair to go to a spinning class in a council run leisure centre if you have a bike at home?

The Council would almost definitely prefer sufficient people attend to warrant running the class than people not attend because they think they might be taking a place away from others. If it was oversubscribed and they wanted to prioritise any particular group of people they could have done so, but they haven't.