Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Car seating - who should sit where?

106 replies

LuncheonInThePark · 28/10/2025 14:25

I already know I probably am being petty here, but interested in thoughts so it'll maybe stop irritating me (and yes, I know there are more important things to be bothered over!)

Saw a Facebook post saying 'If the husband is driving, who should sit in the front - the wife or the mother'.

Now, I ALWAYS offer my MIL in the front seat, but she always declines and sits with our 11 year old DD.

FIL just automatically goes in the front. If it was him by himself without MIL, I would of course offer (if I was given the chance), but he's straight in there.

I think the reason it bothers me is it comes across as though men in the front, while me, MIL and DD - the women - should be in the back.

How are the car seating dynamics in your family?

OP posts:

notatinydancer · 28/10/2025 14:29

If my partner is driving I sit in the front and vice versa.

BarnacleBeasley · 28/10/2025 14:33

I would let whoever is the guest (one of my in-laws) sit in the passenger seat, but mainly because the back has two child seats in and I wouldn't make anyone else squish into the middle between them. If the car were not full of child seats, I would expect the person who most needed the legroom to go in the front, which statistically I guess would be more likely to be an adult male passenger. If we had three people in the back and no child seats, it's logical for it to be the three smallest, whoever they happen to be.

Hiver · 28/10/2025 14:34

It’s about size here

so son and dh upfront

why…. Both have much longer legs!

Hiver · 28/10/2025 14:34

I’m going to guess you don’t think very much of FIL generally?

LaserPumpkin · 28/10/2025 14:35

It’s whoever needs the space most in my family.

OllysArmyRidesAgain · 28/10/2025 14:36

In the past if we were out with the in-laws I may have chosen to sit in the back with MIL to chat and if we were in their car, it would always be DH upfront with FIL

Now MIL has dementia they both sit in the back and DH and I are upfront, usually with DH driving.

I also go out with my adult DC, and from when they were older teenagers, it hasn't always been mum and dad upfront and kids in the back. On longer journeys, we rotate including DH sitting in the back if I am driving

SquigglePigs · 28/10/2025 14:36

Vast majority of the time I'm driving but if not then I have the other front seat.

I get horribly car sick and both my parents and in-laws kindly sit in the back so I don't have to. Even in their own cars!

Plus DD is far more excited having a grandparent sit with her than a parent and they are all happy to accommodate that!

Soontobe60 · 28/10/2025 14:37

If me and DH are in the car together, I’m usually the one driving!

Arlanymor · 28/10/2025 14:38

It depends on physicality I think. If I have passengers it's usually my mum and dad. Mum had her hip replaced last year and in the six months in the lead up to the operation and during her recovery period she would sit in the front because it was much easier for her to get in/out. Now she's all recovered my dad sits in the front because he's 6' 4'' and has long legs!

Hadalifeonce · 28/10/2025 14:40

FiL is 97 so I always sit in the back if he is in the car, otherwise I sit in the front.
Previous MiL used to get pissed off about it (not elderly), even more so when she asked if we minded if she smoked, and I consistently said I did mind.

DaisyChain505 · 28/10/2025 14:40

I wouldn’t expect other adults to sit in the back with my children.

Bitzee · 28/10/2025 14:42

The passenger seat should be offered to anyone elderly, with mobility issues or that is very tall.

TriggeredNameChanger · 28/10/2025 14:42

I think the reason it bothers me is it comes across as though men in the front, while me, MIL and DD - the women - should be in the back.

Well if the sexism bothers you, why is your DH the default driver? Why don’t you drive and sit up front with FIL and put your DH in the back with his mum?

In my family, it’s decided by height (tallest sits up front due to leg room), car sickness, or if people want to have a natter.

Hillarious · 28/10/2025 14:45

Smallest sits in the middle seat in the back. Used to be DC3, but now it’s me. Certainly wouldn’t be FIL.

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 28/10/2025 14:51

Wow. I can't believe your FIL does that. Any older man I know would never.

You are right to offer your MIL a seat in the front, she's older so it's respectful. She, however, is right to decline. Your place is next to your partner.

My BIL often tries to offer me the front seat next to my sister while he jumps in the back with the kids. I appreciate the offer but I always decline as his place is next to my sister.

I might be the wrong person to ask though as I gave very old fashioned values in general. I also have strong views about who sits at the head of the table, which are apparently weird 😂

TheWytch · 28/10/2025 14:51

Those who need the most space go in the front, currently DF.

If the dogs are with us then the dog lovers go in the back. The least doggy person gets the front

thisishowloween · 28/10/2025 14:52

I sit in the front as otherwise I get motion sick and will vomit within about 20 minutes.

DisforDarkChocolate · 28/10/2025 14:54

I'm the default front seat passenger but it's likely neither of my in-laws could actually get in the back seat due to mobility issues.

DonewhatIcando · 28/10/2025 15:02

My in-laws sit in the front, usually fil as he has a bad back.
Mil and I in the back.
What annoys me is dp wants to drive because he wouldn't dream of sitting in the back, it's my bloody car but I'm relegated to the back seat.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for in-laws to have the front seat, I've got a Mini, it's dp that annoys me

PonkyPonky · 28/10/2025 15:06

People who get travel sick in the back are first priority for front seats.
Beyond that it’s a size thing. Wouldn’t even occur to me to think FIL should offer to get in the back, of course he shouldn’t when I’m 5ft5 and he’s 6ft2. He’s also wider than me so if there’s 3 on the back seat, it would be ridiculous to put the biggest people back there. You’re overthinking this, just use common sense.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 28/10/2025 15:09

This depends on a lot of things. I’m disabled and suffer with joint pain a lot. I often end up in the front seat in all sorts of situations if there’s not much space in the back. Historically my MIL would go in the back, but she’s getting to be quite elderly now so if I feel like I can manage in the back I let her have the front seat, we’re both very considerate of each other so there’s lots of both trying to give the other the front seat. My dad is very deaf but can hear deeper male voices better so if DH is driving then my dad goes in the front so that he can at least have a conversation. My mum is a nervous passenger so actually prefers to be in the back where she can’t see the road.

InfoSecInTheCity · 28/10/2025 15:13

I’m the driver in our house but I would expect my husband to sit in the back if we’re taking MIL somewhere. I would always offer a grown up guest the front seat, kids go in the back unless there are too many of them to fit back there.

Hiver · 28/10/2025 15:16

DonewhatIcando · 28/10/2025 15:02

Have you ever tried to… assert yourself? @DonewhatIcando

Radiatorvalves · 28/10/2025 15:19

MIL disabled, 91, short, sits in front
FIL 5’9”, 85 usually sits in back
me 5’5” DH 6’ vary. Driver driving!
kids both over 6’, in the back!

ReignOfError · 28/10/2025 15:22

I’m violently travel sick if I sit in the rear seats, so everyone encourages me into the front.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5