Car seating - who should sit where?

[LuncheonInThePark]

I already know I probably am being petty here, but interested in thoughts so it'll maybe stop irritating me (and yes, I know there are more important things to be bothered over!)

Saw a Facebook post saying 'If the husband is driving, who should sit in the front - the wife or the mother'.

Now, I ALWAYS offer my MIL in the front seat, but she always declines and sits with our 11 year old DD.

FIL just automatically goes in the front. If it was him by himself without MIL, I would of course offer (if I was given the chance), but he's straight in there.

I think the reason it bothers me is it comes across as though men in the front, while me, MIL and DD - the women - should be in the back.

How are the car seating dynamics in your family?

Yes, this. Make sure you’re just as likely to be driving them as DH is. We’d always offer PIL or my parents the front seat, usually whichever is least mobile is offered the front. It’s up to PIL to choose which of them is in the front. So to save it being all men up front, you need to be driving, it that’s how your PIL arrange themselves.

I take precedence over my sons who are teens but far taller than me. Because I’m their parent and they can go in the front when it’s their car! We did get a car plenty big enough for tall people in the back as we knew this would happen.

It’s a race to the front because me and the children are really car sick.
I did have the pleasure of my husband insisting his Mum sit in the back because of my travel sickness on a very long journey once. Her face was a picture.

I sit in the front and anyone else can deal with the back seats. I have really long legs and find it hard to even get in the back of some cars.

If DH is driving and we're taking mil somewhere I always offer her the front seat but she's never taken it, always sits in the back with DCs.
Fil would have taken the front seat but I don't think of it as "men in the front, women in the back" but more that he was a bigger man and the front seat has more space.

I think I'd be like my mil and go in the back, unless the backseat was particularly small or awkward (provided the gf offered me the front, I wouldn't assume).

When DH was still driving and we had a full car I always had to drive because he always needed the driver's seat pushed back as far as it would go to accommodate his long legs, and there was very little room in the back seat behind him.

I always sit in the front as I have a back issue and front seat is adjustable and I get car sick. But If this wasn’t the case I’d say elders in the front. (60 plus) And if all a similar age or youngish I’d go on height/weight. Bigger people in the front.

This. And my mum used to get the front seat because she got car sick.

Firstly anyone who gets car sick, secondly whoever has the longest legs 😊

MIL gets the front seat because she has limited mobility. I share the back seat with her walker as it's too big for the boot of our little car.

My parents go in the back because they have dementia but no mobility issues, and they're safer where they can't distract the driver, though getting their seatbelts fastened can be something of a saga.

Tallest passenger in the front, unless someone needs it for mobility/health reasons.

Tallest people sit in the front. Its not a sex/ age thing.

OP has already said that her FIL is the same height as her

The head of the household/the host or even just an adult who lives there.

I would never, as a guest, seat myself at the head of someone else's table unless I had to. It feels very disrespectful.

I once went to the toilet as friends were serving dinner, came back and everyone was already seated, and the only place left was at the head. I sat down gingerly, feeling very awkward and apologised.

Everyone, including me, laughed at how silly I was being. They obviously hadn't given it the slightest thought and I do know it's very outdated but it's how I am. I'm an old fashioned and traditional person.

But who is 'head of the household '?

I know the answer to this! My four year old explained it to us this morning. I am the boss of our house, because I am a tiny bit taller than DP. So as with taking the front seat of the car, the tallest person is the boss.

We don’t have a head of the table - they are just seats and everyone can sit where they like.

I haven’t read all the replies but I was recently surprised and a bit horrified that my single friend makes her dad, in his 80s and has some back pain and mobility issues, sit in the back of their small car so her dog can have the front seat…because pup likes the view from the front.

Well most families in 2025 feel this way but as I said, it's just how I am and I do know it's silly and outdated.

Well that's just disgusting.

So do you mean you think the man is the “head of the household”? Really?

Same. I can barely last 2 minutes in the back without throwing up.

Why on Earth would you draw that conclusion from what I said?

In my family the people who get travel sick get priority, getting awkward as it used to be two so one could drive and the other be front seat passenger but now we have one in the new generation.

I almost always drive because I get car sick otherwise, even in the front. I'd usually say parents would go in the front and DH would go in the back.

When ds is driving both dh and ds suggest I sit in the front. However I opt for the back and sit behind ds. Dh is tall so the seat gets pushed all the way back and I would have no room. If he was in the back Dh would have no room.

This is on longer journeys so we all can be comfortable. If we are going local, who care who sits where!