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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Car seating - who should sit where?

106 replies

LuncheonInThePark · 28/10/2025 14:25

I already know I probably am being petty here, but interested in thoughts so it'll maybe stop irritating me (and yes, I know there are more important things to be bothered over!)

Saw a Facebook post saying 'If the husband is driving, who should sit in the front - the wife or the mother'.

Now, I ALWAYS offer my MIL in the front seat, but she always declines and sits with our 11 year old DD.

FIL just automatically goes in the front. If it was him by himself without MIL, I would of course offer (if I was given the chance), but he's straight in there.

I think the reason it bothers me is it comes across as though men in the front, while me, MIL and DD - the women - should be in the back.

How are the car seating dynamics in your family?

OP posts:

Dramatic · 31/10/2025 11:36

BarnacleBeasley · 31/10/2025 10:47

I know the answer to this! My four year old explained it to us this morning. I am the boss of our house, because I am a tiny bit taller than DP. So as with taking the front seat of the car, the tallest person is the boss.

Show quote history

Damn, I've been relegated to 5th now then, 3 of our 4 children are taller than me 😢

Alpacajigsaw · 31/10/2025 11:36

I’d always sit in the front of my own family car.

Gwenhwyfar · 31/10/2025 20:22

"I still make DS sit in the back though who is also 6ft 🤔"

Why?

Gwenhwyfar · 31/10/2025 20:24

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 30/10/2025 19:33

The head of the household/the host or even just an adult who lives there.

I would never, as a guest, seat myself at the head of someone else's table unless I had to. It feels very disrespectful.

I once went to the toilet as friends were serving dinner, came back and everyone was already seated, and the only place left was at the head. I sat down gingerly, feeling very awkward and apologised.

Everyone, including me, laughed at how silly I was being. They obviously hadn't given it the slightest thought and I do know it's very outdated but it's how I am. I'm an old fashioned and traditional person.

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It's not that it's outdated, but that it's very formal. It matters for important meetings, not so much for dinner with friends.

venusandmars · 31/10/2025 20:45

SquigglePigs · 28/10/2025 14:36

Vast majority of the time I'm driving but if not then I have the other front seat.

I get horribly car sick and both my parents and in-laws kindly sit in the back so I don't have to. Even in their own cars!

Plus DD is far more excited having a grandparent sit with her than a parent and they are all happy to accommodate that!

I pull the car-sick card every time.

solvendie · 31/10/2025 20:50

I would be driving and whoever found it difficult to get in or out of a car, or second choice have very long legs would be in the passenger seat

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