How would you feel about this if I was your DIL?

[MickeyThunder]

It’s my husband’s 40th next year, and we’ve been talking about booking a holiday to celebrate. The idea came up in front of my parents, and they said they’d love to come along. My husband was fine with that, so I went ahead today and booked flights for a 4-night break. It’ll be me, my husband, our two kids and my parents.

It’s only just hit me that we/I haven’t mentioned it to my husband’s parents or invited them, and I’m wondering if they might be upset when they find out...

There’s no plan to invite them, Id rather not go if they did to be honest! (and my husband isn’t bothered at all about them being there), but I’m just not sure if we’ll get any backlash or if they will be really hurt.

For context, we get on much better with my parents. They’re very easy-going, and my husband would definitely agree. My FIL, on the other hand, can be quite difficult, and I’m not particularly close to him or my MIL.

This is F*** up and you know it. It would be different if you weren’t taking YOUR PARENTS. But you’re celebrating THEIR SON’S birthday with JUST YOUR PARENTS?
Say that out loud to yourself. You know it’s wrong. SMFH

Yes it’s the DH’s responsibility but I also think we have double standards when it comes to relationships.

There are a lot of threads about coercive control, where a partner doesn’t stop a woman from seeing her friends and family but makes it uncomfortable and difficult and slowly makes it easier not to bother. Those women are told to ring Women’s Aid, not to pull themselves together and be responsible for their own relationships.

I’m not saying that’s the situation here but it could be.

This thread, and the responses, also highlights the double standards we have around men who are close to their mothers rather than women.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5440558-to-find-this-statement-from-dp-strange?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

If it was, my son, and his in-laws were going, but not me, I'd be pissed. Regardless of how difficult they are, it might be better to at the very least. Invite them. If you don't pay for their stay, but you let them know that they are welcome, they may opt to not pay their own way to go. But at least you're off the hook because you did invite them!