Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

[Teizzz]

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

So they just expected you to have enough food to feed them, bed made up for them to sleep in and you to have no plans? Could have said sorry I've got a friend staying the weekend so I can't put you up.you should have asked me if it was ok. (Then I'd have gone upstairs messaged someone and said get here quick and say your staying the weekend, your not by the way, but I need a get out)Next time don't answer the door or phone if they ring to say we are at the door. I think it's very very rude.

How'd you work that out? My parents live 10miles away and it takes 45-60mins depending on traffic...

It’s ridiculously rude, I don’t even like people turning up unannounced for an hour 😂. Is it too late to say you have plans?

You are definitely not being unreasonable, I'd be really pissed off if someone turned up unannounced, it's so rude.

Ita one of my biggest peeves! YANBU

You are NOT being unreasonable!! I’d be furious if this happened to me!!

Are you in the UK? I think it’s bad manners to turn up for a cup of tea unannounced let alone a weekend stay.

YANBU!
I would be fuming!

YANBU OP

Are they still there OP? Do come back and tell us how you managed.

What on earth?! What did they say when they turned up?! Hello, can we have a room for a couple of nights, and will you also provide meals?! What is their excuse/justification? I can hardly believe it! Sounds like the beginning of a farce, not real life.

Did it not occur to them that you might have other plans? Did it not occur to you to say 'what a lovely surprise - I wish I could spend longer with you but I have plans later today, do come back another time when we have agreed on the date ahead of time'. And 60 miles is nothing!

I would be HOPPING MAD. But then, I am a miserable antisocial so-and-so and value quiet time and especially like to make my own plans and not be bounced into things. Maybe some people would be pleased, but it does seem from the other posts that most people would, like me, think it an unspeakably rude imposition.

INCREDIBLY RUDE! Doesnt matter who, or why no notice is really trampling on your boundaries and privacy. Havent read whole thread (which i plan to) but knee jerk reaction is... i really wouldnt put up with this. YANBU

What is the point in threads like these?

Of course, you re not being unreasonable, and why have you started it only to disappear?

OP can't post - she's too busy hosting at no notice...

To stay, for sure it’s unreasonable.

For a cup of coffee enroute from somewhere else, perhaps is acceptable.

My colleague at work - who comes from a non-UK background - says the former is not unknown in her community, but she is an expert in pretending not to be in to forestall just such an eventuality.

On the off chance you read this, now is the time to set boundaries. It is necessary in this life to be very territorial. Recognise your patch and defend it at all fucking costs. It's your Manor, not theirs.

Well, I think you were unreasonable to accept the visit, as you clearly did.

My mum, sister and rest of the family live 36 miles away but it's a two hour journey.

My partners family live 150 miles away,a 3 hour journey.

One is a day trip, the other is not.

However, none of our family would just turn up. They know they'd get a cuppa and a goodbye!

Just tell them no?
They can't just decide to stay at your house.

Because I've worked 45 miles from my home (mixture of little roads and dual carriageway) and it took 50 mins to get there.

I worked 55 miles in the other direction, again same mix of roads. That took just under an hour.

We also live an hour from the coast. Which is 57 miles away.

So when they said "We thought we would stay over" why didnt you say "Oh sorry I am afraid thats not possible"?

This is SO bloody rude!
What relation are they? Do you live somewhere that people would want to just ‘pop in’ and stay for a few days and do tourist things?
It seems so incredibly rude… I think when they leave I would ask them to give you some notice next time as you’ve had to change plans to accommodate them!

I'm not that keen on people popping in unannounced for a coffee, nevermind overnight stays 😅
You need to be very firm and clear when they leave that a repeat surprise visit in the future won't be possible. I suspect they only did this knowing you would be unlikely to turn them away.
Boundaries.

This is your reminder to order a RING doorbell, so you can pretend to be a
out next time they make a surprise visit.

Id be annoyed too, that’s so disrespectful.

We need more info! Did they stay or did you send them packing? Are they close relatives and do they have form for being CFs?

I’d be furious is somebody did this to me but it’s hard to stick up for yourself when you’re caught off guard like that, so I hope you managed to get rid of them xx

Is the relative your child? It would still be rude but slightly alter my perspective on it.