Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

[Teizzz]

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

What good timing, OP.
They can help you sort your bed bug infestation can't they. 🤿

Tell them to clear off.

How rude of them! Did you have to let them in? You could have offered them a cuppa then told them you were going out in a bit.

I would never turn up to anyone's house (even our DCs) without calling first. There have been times when we've found ourselves within easy driving distance of a friend or relative, but would call first to say that we're here & would it be convenient to pop in for a cuppa, always saying that we realise that they probably have other plans wouldn't take it amiss if it wasn't convenient.

So rude to just wash up on someone's doorstep without warning. I feel for you OP.

My PIL did this once many years ago, only from 200 miles away. They thought it would be a lovely surprise. They never did it again.

Flip me...turning up for a cup of tea fine, turning up for an overnighter NO NO NO!

I sympathise OP, it’s just the thing my Mum used to do- I remember as a child rocking up one night at my grandparents- we lived about 100 miles away. My Mum and Dad just walked in and said ‘surprise, we’ve come for the weekend’. They then went out to a friends house- again turning up unannounced and left me with grandma.
when I grew up and had a home with my husband my Mum did it to us a couple of times- I just thought it was normal but my husband wasn‘t pleased and told her- she still thinks he’s very rude 20 odd years later!

Tell them you have norovirus

What happened OP that you can't just go out/say it's not convenient/you have plans for the weekend....?

Do they usually walk over you?

They sound awful.

Time to put your "Big girl pants on" as they say here.

Good luck.

Thank them for making you realise you will not be available without prior notice.

You deserve your own weekend time too,

What the actual?! Who does that, particularly when they only live an hour away? I’d be furious!

So use your voice and tell them to go?? They live an hour away. Why are they staying over?

Just tell them that you’ve planned stuff to do, and that it’s very inconvenient that they didn’t even check to see if it was ok to come. Then send them packing. They haven’t far to go. Use your voice! Don’t be such a wet lettuce

Once I moved out of the home I would have not done that to my parents and would not accept my stepchildren doing that to me unless it's an emergency

I can't fathom the mindset of anyone who just... does this. What if the people you've unilaterally decided to spend the weekend with aren't in?

Nor the mindset of someone who doesn't respond by (at the very best) offering a cup of tea but making up plans for later that day, so sorry, but we can only have you for an hour at the most, why don't you arrange your visit ahead of time next time?

Why have you let them stay? Its really down to you to say no op

Turning up on the offchance you're in, to have a cup of tea and a natter is a bit cheeky, but potentially pleasant.

Turning up unannounced, expecting to stay, is CFery. You have plans. (Or at least, you might have plans). They can go and book into a hotel or something, surely?

your relatives or his relatives?
you may feel differently when they are dead and no longer able to turn up at all.

Can you get their keys and go to their house and hang for the weekend?

Ridiculous! You don’t just turn up unannounced and demand to stay. 60 miles is no distance. Tell them it’s not convenient and they need to go home!

Why did you answer the door? Do you have a Ring? Get one. Just because someone knocks on your door doesn't mean you have to answer.

I'm curious what they were going to do if you were not in? Can you ask them for me please?

DH’s sister once announced on Saturday, that she was arriving on Monday for a 4 night stay. DH and I had a furious row, he said we couldn’t decline because she’s family. Interestingly he was shattered by the end of the stay, four consecutive nights spent being “on” instead of being able to chill at home. I thought it was dreadfully rude.

It wasn’t the first time either, some years earlier, DH got a “ are you around next weekend, we could pop by” message which morphed into 3 people needing full board for 4 days.

Can you just lie and say you just found a shingles rash and you dont want to infect them, they will drive like the wind in the opposite direction!

Hideous. Send them home. I suppose it's too late to claim you're waiting on a call from the council to deal with a bedbug infestation.

IF they're your family, send them home.
If they're your partner's family, he sends them home OR he caters to them while you do something else.

There’s always one 🙄