Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

[Teizzz]

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

Bloody rude.
I'd tell them to feck off.
But then, I'm old, and totally unsurprised by the way people can behave.
It will work though.

It's only an hour away, they don't need to stay. They obviously didn't think it was too far to travel at the risk of you not even being home, so they can stay for some tea and then head back home can't they? They can't just elect to stay overnight at yours.

Is it your DC?

This is madness. How did they even know you'd be in?

If my kids did this it would be absolutely fine because this is always their home, but I can't imagine anyone turning up and just demanding to stay.

Why do we always have to have posters who jump on with "you're wet haha" or similar? OP may genuinely not know how to deal with it. I do- made my contribution to how I would handle it up-thread- doesn't mean OP needs to be slated.

I'd swop houses with them, ask them for their keys.

This is all about boundaries op.

I think so many women, myself included, grew up never really learning how to say no.

and yet there’s people around us who have no problem saying no, and here’s the rub, aren’t disliked for it, on the contrary.

take my mum. She would do this, and then complain that I was ‘moody’. She wouldn’t dream of dropping in on my brother for a weekend, so doesn’t see him as moody at all.

if it’s at all possible, say ‘no’ op. Each time you say it, the next time is easier.,

So rude. I’d be fuming!!! Tell them to go away!!!!

Why on earth didn't you send them packing?

Just no. Their own beds are a just an hour away.

Is this something that happens regularly in your family? If not, why do they think this is ok?

Why can't you just say sorry but this is my first child-free weekend in a while and I've made plans?

Cheeky fuckers.

Clearly you've opened the door now so the conversation will be more awkward but fuck it, send them packing!!

Your fault, you shouldn't have allowed it!

To stay?! I don’t mind an unannounced visit for a cuppa and a chat (as long as they’re okay with it if I tell them I’m busy so off they go!) but I can’t imagine how socially inept someone has to be to land on someone’s doorstep to stay the weekend with no notice 😬 just tell them you’re busy!

I love socialising but people turning up unannounced for a weekend would make me furious. I hope they leave asap OP!

I'd just tell them they can stay for a cup of tea but you're going out in an hour and won't be back until Sunday night. Shame really be if you don't bother giving us any warning you can't expect us to be free!

Then if necessary I'd start moving towards the car or saying I'm going to walk to the train station now if they don't leave! I wouldn't care if I had to drive round or walk for no reason just to get rid of them!

It’s VVVVVVVVVVVVVVU and rude to turn up uninvited with no warning.

I wouldn’t have opened the door

dont let them in

I don’t understand how or why anybody would not just say “oh I’m sorry no you can’t stay!”
It’s 60 miles, so an hour’s journey? Fuck ‘em off! Rude bastards!

60 miles is perfectly travel-able, overnight stay not required. Total cheeky sods imo. I’d be saying you have plans, and next time you’d love to see them, but let’s agree plans in advance.

Yanbu at all! I would absolutely hate this.

What did they say when they just turned up? I’d have had to say “you should have let us know you were planning to come as we can’t really have visitors this weekend”.

Oh no, make it clear they need to wait to be invited.

How rude? Who are these people? Your family or other half? They obviously feel very close to you if they can do this. Bizarre.

book yourself into a hotel and disappear if need be. That is beyond rude and thoughtless. I guess they think it's a nice surprise

Well say so then!