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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fed up with DP going on about his mates new partner

200 replies

Cheysdiary · 24/10/2025 13:05

As above - we met her for the first time at the weekend. When she went to the loo, my DP dramatically said to his friend HOW ON EARTH HAVE YOU MANAGED THAT and kept saying he is punching.

On the way home, he kept shaking his head and saying he doesn’t know how he has done it, and multiple references since this week including about her job being really good and how they’ll afford load of holidays etc. We are a bit stretched financially currently with young DC etc.

Last night I asked him if he was going to stop going on about her at any point and he got a bit defensive. Saying he’s happy for his mate, that he’s complimented them as a match and ‘it’s not like I’ve turned around and said I want to bury my tounge in her arse’.

AIBU to find repeated comments excessive?

OP posts:
Toydrum · 25/10/2025 20:18

DrowningInSyrup · 25/10/2025 20:10

You can't swing a cat these days without hitting a rimmilingus reference. I'm waiting for it to pop up on Emmerdale.

🤣 True.

JoBrandsCleaner · 25/10/2025 20:35

Omg, that’s absolutely disgusting. It’s nice when a man can come across a nice looking woman without making a show of himself and making disgusting comments.

AdultHumanFemaleOne · 25/10/2025 21:20

Perhaps you need to take the trash out....

Notmyreality · 25/10/2025 21:28

Cheysdiary · 24/10/2025 17:52

He didn’t say he wants to do that - re-read my post.

Show quote history

Yeah but it’s obviously on his mind. He fancies her, and worse, he comparing you to her and thinking his mate has come out the winner. When he says “he’s punching” what her really means is he feels immaculated because he no longer can claim one up on his mate by saying he’s married. He’s jealous.

Horses7 · 25/10/2025 21:30

Ewwww your husband sounds very disrespectful to you - I would be seriously talking to him about that but only you know if he’ll understand and take it all in! Tbh from what you’ve said so far I’m not sure he will as it seems pretty engrained.

My Dad worked on a building site all his life and he never treated anyone (male or female) disrespectfully or raised his voice to us or anyone else - where you work isn’t an excuse to behave like a Neanderthal.

Anyahyacinth · 25/10/2025 22:06

Cucy · 24/10/2025 13:41

I’m not sure.

My ex-BIL has just got with someone and it sounds harsh but she’s way out of his league.

We have been going on about it like your DP because we just can’t get our heads round it.
He’s a horrible bully, not attractive, barely works, doesn’t see his kids etc and she is gorgeous, has a good job, seems like she’s got her head screwed on etc.

Yes we should keep our noses out but I think it’s ok to talk about things like this. If you can’t talk to your partner then who can you.

I think you’re feeling a bit jealous and inferior. If he was saying it about a male partner then you probably wouldn’t be so upset.

Just tell him how it’s making you feel and if he’s decent he’ll stop,

She did tell him and then he shared a sex act he'd been thinking about 🤦‍♀️

littlemisspigg · 25/10/2025 22:31

toiletpaperthief · 24/10/2025 13:14

I would start beagging about some female friend of your boyfriend, what a good looking guy with a great job, how lucky she is and how she has hit the lotto, childish yeah.. but maybe the only way he will get it.

Genius, totally second that.
Do unto others what they do unto you...muaahhaaahaaaa

Middleagedspreadisreal · 25/10/2025 22:57

I've never heard that expression! It's vile.

AdultHumanFemaleOne · 26/10/2025 00:56

My husband of 22 years has never commented or literally looked at another woman walking past. He is the model of respectfulness. I had a boyfriend who literally swiveled on his heels and openly gawped at any attractive women. When I objected he came out with misogynistic sht along the lines of it was no different from me window shopping but not purchasing anything!! He didn't last long. What a twat.

Ilovecakey · 26/10/2025 01:23

5128gap · 24/10/2025 13:36

"I don't know why you're shocked DP. You obviously don't realise as a man just how attractive he is from a woman's perspective. There's just something about him....
Never mind. At least us less attractive people have found each other!"

Love this one!

researchers3 · 26/10/2025 01:01

AmyDudley · 24/10/2025 13:11

There's 'a bit defensive' and then there's 'utterly repulsive'. Your DP falls firmly into the second category.

I'd say both!!

researchers3 · 26/10/2025 01:03

DrowningInSyrup · 25/10/2025 20:10

You can't swing a cat these days without hitting a rimmilingus reference. I'm waiting for it to pop up on Emmerdale.

😆

Gilgogirl · 26/10/2025 01:10

What? He needs to go. I’m so disgusted for you. Kick this dumbass to the curb or maybe he could in with his friend and have a threesome. Your husband is either clueless or cruel. I don’t know but I’d pick cruel. What a dick. You need to get out this now. This doesn’t get better. I promise you that. Run away tonight if you can.

Gilgogirl · 26/10/2025 01:16

Cucy · 24/10/2025 14:09

First of all, how is that derogatory?

Have you never said you wanted to do something to a man before?

And second of all, he never said he wanted to do it - he said it to OP and said it’s not like he did say it.

If I was talking about a male colleague and my DP had implied I was going on about him too much then I would have said similar.

Show quote history

Stuff your tongue in his asshole. The thought of E. coli is just overwhelming me thinking about it.

Gilgogirl · 26/10/2025 01:17

Anna1mac · 25/10/2025 18:05

Disgusting language. A wise woman once said when people show you who they really are, believe them the first time.

More true than you’d think

Gilgogirl · 26/10/2025 01:26

Hons123 · 24/10/2025 16:03

I can't believe how many people are advising the OP to 'get her ducks in a row' implying she should leave him. Do you all think that if the OP had the resources to dump this crass person, she would not have? It is clear that the OP is not financially independent. Do you think it is easy to enforce a family court decision? Enforce child support from a tradesperson? Seriously? Where I live tradespeople only deal in cash, and they can show their earnings to be whatever they want - they can show they are barely breaking even, as self-employed, if they want to. Or even show a loss for a period. This is horrible, no denying it, humiliating and dehumanising, but 'get your ducks in a row', etc. etc. and stories how single people with no children bravely dumped their ill-spoken partners and boyfriends? How is it relevant and what is the point of this bragging?

You’re right, I think we’re just all disgusted on her behalf. Op, you have out how you can live this. It does sound like this maybe what you have deal with and I personally have no idea how to fix your situation at all. I do wish you the best .sorry,

Gilgogirl · 26/10/2025 01:33

Figure out are the missing words.

Gilgogirl · 26/10/2025 01:38

I wanted to say I’m sorry to the op. It’s easy being on the other side and sometimes it turns funny but sometimes it’s not and I hope you get to some how figure out how to make your life better. I’m praying for you and you just be strong and show him you don’t care what he says. Get strong for yourself. I’m still trying. I hope nothing but the best for your future and everything gets better.

Calendulaaria · 26/10/2025 05:34

Bloody hell, his comment is a bit much. He should start to appreciate what he has and stop saying gross stuff like that to you.

LBFseBrom · 26/10/2025 05:37

'it’s not like I’ve turned around and said I want to bury my tounge in her arse’, is an inappropriate and disgusting comment. However he probably felt you went on at him a bit, just as you were fed up with him going on about the girl.

Tell him you don't appreciate his vulgarity but just cool it now, both of you. It will settle down, at the moment she is a novelty and that never lasts.

notthisagain2025 · 26/10/2025 05:37

You're married to a creepy wanker. Sorry about that.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 26/10/2025 06:00

Hopefully he’s no longer going on about this and it was just on the night you met. There’s nothing like him considering your feelings, and this is nothing like it!

CoffeeCantata · 26/10/2025 06:32

I couldn’t be with someone who said things like that.

It speaks volumes about him as a person.

MrsDoubtfire1 · 26/10/2025 06:52

Are you sure you really want to be with this creature for the future? Can't you do any better. I once worked with a girl who had thee most handsome boyfriend but knuckle dragger was not the word. He caused her a lot of problems.

Namechangerage · 26/10/2025 07:58

Cheysdiary · 24/10/2025 17:52

He didn’t say he wants to do that - re-read my post.

Show quote history

Oh I read it. Do you think that phrase just popped into his head out of nowhere? I imagine he talks like that about other women pretty regularly if that’s the way he talks to you….

Not all men would talk like that. And it’s not ok.

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