Fed up with DP going on about his mates new partner

[Cheysdiary]

As above - we met her for the first time at the weekend. When she went to the loo, my DP dramatically said to his friend HOW ON EARTH HAVE YOU MANAGED THAT and kept saying he is punching.

On the way home, he kept shaking his head and saying he doesn’t know how he has done it, and multiple references since this week including about her job being really good and how they’ll afford load of holidays etc. We are a bit stretched financially currently with young DC etc.

Last night I asked him if he was going to stop going on about her at any point and he got a bit defensive. Saying he’s happy for his mate, that he’s complimented them as a match and ‘it’s not like I’ve turned around and said I want to bury my tounge in her arse’.

AIBU to find repeated comments excessive?

Absolutely disgusting. Was that final sentence really necessary? What a pig. What’s he got going for him??

I can't believe how many people are advising the OP to 'get her ducks in a row' implying she should leave him. Do you all think that if the OP had the resources to dump this crass person, she would not have? It is clear that the OP is not financially independent. Do you think it is easy to enforce a family court decision? Enforce child support from a tradesperson? Seriously? Where I live tradespeople only deal in cash, and they can show their earnings to be whatever they want - they can show they are barely breaking even, as self-employed, if they want to. Or even show a loss for a period. This is horrible, no denying it, humiliating and dehumanising, but 'get your ducks in a row', etc. etc. and stories how single people with no children bravely dumped their ill-spoken partners and boyfriends? How is it relevant and what is the point of this bragging?

Can you invoice that dickhead with your services rendered as a nanny, cook, personal assistant, cleaning lady, therapist and sex worker? This would be an invoice for all that time you've been a SAHM taking care of his kids and washing HIS socks. Once you get that check do yourself a favour: use it as a deposit for you and your kids new home and dump this tosser. He's treating you as a door rug and you're letting him.

What a delight you’ve bagged…

My husbands a tradie and would NEVER speak to me, or about another woman like that.

He's clearly thought about doing what he said in his last sentence then

Matter of fact? Is that what they are calling it?

No joke.

Nothing to do with his job, I have heard hoorah Henrys talk like that in the City of London. A coarse person is a coarse person, no matter how they earn a crust.

It's a revolting turn of phrase and if all your partner can say about her is that she earns well and is attractive - nothing about her personality? - then that's fairly shallow of him. I guess only you know if he has form for this?

You are well within your rights to ask him to change the record - his reaction is the thing that you need to pay attention to. He didn't say: "Oh have I gone on a bit? Sorry, it's just a shock!" He said... well, you know what he said. Gross.

Christ can you imagine what he says when you’re not there, if this is how he talks in front of you? He’s the hots for her and can’t hide it. What a low life creep. He will be like this about any attractive woman, What’s worse though is you calling his phrasing matter of fact. Like you think that’s how men speak in front of women, which is utterly tragic for you.

That’s not matter-of-fact, that’s crude, rude, misogynistic and disrespectful.

Yuck?!
Are you still with this man? 🤢

Was just about to say this myself. If he’s so brazen to mention wanting to lick her arse to you, I dread to think what he’s saying behind your back. He’s horrid.

He’s made it pretty clear that he thinks he can do better than you unfortunately

I don't know what trade you're talking about, but it's zero excuse for his behaviour. We're all personally responsible for our own values and standards of behaviour.

I've worked around tradesmen for years and have never heard any of them talk like this. It sounds like a poor excuse for appalling behaviour and a really poor attitude to women. OP you can surely do better than this.

He didn’t say he wants to do that - re-read my post.

Yes but he said it… meaning he HAD thought about it. Because why else would that thought even be in his head to say?

He said "it's not like I said I wanted to", he didn't say he didn't want to. It is a very weird, graphic image to come to mind "out of the blue" tbh. Which makes most of us thinks that he does want to do that, or there about.

And Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with 'that woman'. Come on OP, don't be naive, people are pointing out the fact that when you asked him to stop he referenced doing a sexual activity with her. He said that he DIDN'T say that gross statement. He didn't say he didn't want to do it. He could have said: "I didn't say I wanted to date her did I?" But no, he went for a sexual reference.

How disrespectful to talk about her ..showing he obviously fancies her..Infront of you.
He's a total twat

he talks about other women like they are products, acts very jealous of his pal having a nice looking girlfriend, and manages to put the blame on you. Not uncommon deplorable male behaviour. Ew.

Also why are you defending him?

Op the point being made is it is what was on his mind, so clearly thinking about it. I’m also unsure why you’re defending the sleazeball, he’s perving all over another woman in front of you, and you’re all defensive of him. Please. Raise your bar.

Can I just check that you do in fact know that this isn't normal and other women aren't sat at home putting up with men like your boyfriend?

Who presumably won't marry you because it doesn't benefit him 🤮

There are millions of better choices.