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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trigger warning -To have told my friend her racist Facebook posts could cost her her new job

170 replies

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:49

And I was told to mind my own business.

to be honest rethinking the friendship as our values are obviously completely different

she has just started a new job in a solicitors which I am guessing would cater to all different people from all different cultures, religions, believes etc. recently she has been posting some really well racist stuff such as “sink the boats” and “ban the burka” and “fuck off home” “Britain for the British” “Immigrants are pedos” “our children need to be protected not shot in their own school”
things like that.
tonight she has also posted a post saying “only nonces encourage children to believe they are in the wrong body”.

that last one I don’t believe the nonces part but I do have some options about children being transgender but I don’t post them all over Facebook.

if I were a boss of an organisation that deals with the public I would not be at all happy.

I even have another friend who is not as close to this person threatening to send her company the screen shots as she is so disgusted. I have said that is up to her and to leave me out of that one.

the thing is she has been done before in the her last job for writing horrible things about a colleague and was so close to the sack.

I just don’t think I can be in the same company as this friend now. It’s fair enough having different ideas and beliefs but it just goes too far

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Holluschickie · 22/10/2025 23:50

Why is she your friend exactly?

EmeraldRoulette · 22/10/2025 23:53

Bit of a sidebar, but if she nearly got the sack in her last job, I'm puzzled that she's doing this.

Original poster
greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:53

she has only started doing it the last month with the racist posts and it has built up and built up. We have always had different political beliefs she quite right wing and me I would say left of centre. But we never discuss this. But this I can’t ignore

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CarpetKnees · 22/10/2025 23:53

Like pp, I am wondering why she is your friend ?

YANBU to include telling her she is risking her job, but YABU to still have her on Facebook, indeed, still want to have her as any sort of friend.

zazazaaar · 22/10/2025 23:53

Why the hell would you stay friends with this sad, racist idiot? I would just block them and never see them again. I wouldn't spend a minute with a small minded bigot of my own choosing.
Get better friends.

Original poster
greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:54

Exactly Emeraldroulette. I know I can’t get my head around it.

she is one of those people you would say is intelligent but has very little common sense.

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zazazaaar · 22/10/2025 23:54

She will end up like my in laws, bitter angry and friendless

Holluschickie · 22/10/2025 23:54

I would just not speak to her again. Not waste my time telling her to not make racist posts.

OptiMumm · 22/10/2025 23:55

Lol

Do you think anyone's going to say YABU?

Apart from the obvious YABU to call her anything close to a friend and to have not blocked her from FB.

Shutuptrevor · 22/10/2025 23:56

I couldn’t be friends with her.

Whether she loses her job or not is secondary.

Original poster
greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:56

As I said it’s only the last month the racist posts have started and ramped up. I have now removed her though I just can’t stay friends with someone like that. We have been mates since primary school- over 35 years

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Original poster
greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:57

I have removed her and blocked. I am right in thinking she could be sacked for this arnt I.

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Original poster
greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:59

It’s her husband I am concerned for really with the wanting to know if she could be sacked. He is going through a lot of horrible stuff heath wise and he is on the verge of being let go from work on medical grounds. He is not on Facebook so won’t see the posts

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MotherJessAndKittens · 23/10/2025 00:04

Sounds like her job is in danger and probably not suited to be dealing with vulnerable and anxious people during problems requiring a solicitor. If her employer knew she would probably be sacked (deservedly). I think I would distance myself from this person completely.

utamea · 23/10/2025 00:04

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:59

It’s her husband I am concerned for really with the wanting to know if she could be sacked. He is going through a lot of horrible stuff heath wise and he is on the verge of being let go from work on medical grounds. He is not on Facebook so won’t see the posts

Not your problem

just delete, don’t contact and move on

Greenwitchart · 23/10/2025 00:05

End the friendship & alert her employer of what she is posting.

The firm's clients deserve better and her bosses won't want her views to tarnish their reputation.

SocksAndTheCity · 23/10/2025 00:11

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:54

Exactly Emeraldroulette. I know I can’t get my head around it.

she is one of those people you would say is intelligent but has very little common sense.

I don't think she's one of the people anyone would say is intelligent 🤔

EchoedSilence · 23/10/2025 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Velvet010 · 23/10/2025 00:22

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:57

I have removed her and blocked. I am right in thinking she could be sacked for this arnt I.

pritty much its the whole brining the company into disrepute and any role thats omg ,

Fairydustand · 23/10/2025 00:24

Yes, she's not friend material.Block her and let her make her own way in life .You sound like a nice person, who will find better friends.

Original poster
greenishredblue · 23/10/2025 00:26

Yep maybe it was perceived intelligence. Anyway the other friend has decided to send screenshots to her employer and she does not give a fuck if she is found out.

I don't blame her as her husband is a Muslim and he has been to ex friends house many times and they have been out with us all lots. He has even done them a huge favour in the past went they were having issues with an alleged overpaid tax credits. He ended up getting the overpayment wiped out for them so they did not need to pay it back.

It also turns out her husbands cousin (also Muslim) is actually working with said solicitor as well and she does not want to think of him working with someone like her.

I have been a bit blind as I offered to help ex friends husband with a pip application for his heath issues as they will be long term and was told no she does want him to join the list of scroungers!!!!! Incidentally I claim pip so that should have told me.

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Original poster
greenishredblue · 23/10/2025 00:29

She must have been saying things behind my back for ages re pip if that’s what she thinks.

might be suddenly getting a phone call if she loses her job and her DH is found jobless due to his health.

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SumUp · 23/10/2025 00:31

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:56

As I said it’s only the last month the racist posts have started and ramped up. I have now removed her though I just can’t stay friends with someone like that. We have been mates since primary school- over 35 years

You have done the right thing. It’s sad that her behaviour is so out of control, and perhaps stress about her partner’s situation is driving it somewhat, but fixing her is not your responsibility.

Original poster
greenishredblue · 23/10/2025 00:31

I have lots of other friends I have made through my son so it’s all good. Also have 2 very good mates from high school. And they are not connected with her at all. A group of us are going to Spain next summer and she had made noise about joining us. It was ignored as I knew she would not get on with the others. Shame for her husband and son

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Original poster
greenishredblue · 23/10/2025 00:34

My husband on the other hand has never been able to stand her but he could not put his finger on why and my husband is the type to get on with most people. I will listen next time. Luckily he likes all my other mates and is mates with quite a few of them now himself

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