Page 6 | Trigger warning -To have told my friend her racist Facebook posts could cost her her new job

greenishredblue · 2025-10-22T22:49:08+00:00

And I was told to mind my own business. to be honest rethinking the friendship as our values are obviously completely different she has just started a new job in a solicitors which I am guessing would cater to all different people from all different cultures, religions, believes etc. recently she has been posting some really well racist stuff such as “sink the boats” and “ban the burka” and “fuck off home” “Britain for the British” “Immigrants are pedos” “our children need to be protected not shot in their own school” things like that. tonight she has also posted a post saying “only nonces encourage children to believe they are in the wrong body”. that last one I don’t believe the nonces part but I do have some options about children being transgender but I don’t post them all over Facebook. if I were a boss of an organisation that deals with the public I would not be at all happy. I even have another friend who is not as close to this person threatening to send her company the screen shots as she is so disgusted. I have said that is up to her and to leave me out of that one. the thing is she has been done before in the her last job for writing horrible things about a colleague and was so close to the sack. I just don’t think I can be in the same company as this friend now. It’s fair enough having different ideas and beliefs but it just goes too far

NimbleDreamer · 23/10/2025 11:17

Why can't people understand that free speech doesn't apply to social media sites like Facebook as they are a private company. Also most employers now will have a clause in their contracts that you can't bring the company into disrepute and you should also be mindful of what you post on social media.

ClawedButler · 23/10/2025 11:19

YANBU for wanting to distance yourself from someone you disagree with so fundamentally.

YABU for using this as a way for you and your other friend to show off how virtuous and superior you are and try to get her sacked.

BoredZelda · 23/10/2025 11:22

Gruffporcupine · 23/10/2025 10:58

They are doing it because they enjoy it and want to luxuriate in feeling like a good person while being spiteful.

Her views may be unsavory or even racist. What does it achieve to get her fired? Nothing. She won't stop thinking what she does. This is about OP and her ego

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If the employer decides to fire them, then surely that’s an indication that what they have done is considered gross misconduct according to their contract? OP hasn’t “got them fired”.

The friend will always be racist, but being fired might let them understand there might be consequences for sharing that publicly if they work for an organisation that prefers its employees not to be racist. Friend then has a choice to either continue as she is, and keep getting fired for it, or, finding a job with an organisation who is fine with having racist employees.

I’m stunned that you think fighting racism is egotistical.

PixieandMe · 23/10/2025 11:26

I would distance myself.

She's entitled to her opinions of course but they may well have repercussions. There are 4 businesses in my home town that I no longer frequent because of the business-owners bigoted Facebook posts.

Gruffporcupine · 23/10/2025 11:34

BoredZelda · 23/10/2025 11:22

If the employer decides to fire them, then surely that’s an indication that what they have done is considered gross misconduct according to their contract? OP hasn’t “got them fired”.

The friend will always be racist, but being fired might let them understand there might be consequences for sharing that publicly if they work for an organisation that prefers its employees not to be racist. Friend then has a choice to either continue as she is, and keep getting fired for it, or, finding a job with an organisation who is fine with having racist employees.

I’m stunned that you think fighting racism is egotistical.

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Do you sincerely believe that tattling to someone's employer is an effective means in "fighting racism?"

The early 2020s were peak cancel culture. How has this helped prevent the swing to the right we are seeing in almost every western nation? Tattling on people doesn't change their views, it entreches them

Troublein · 23/10/2025 11:47

Are you going to take on overtime to pay for your ex friends benefits if you are making sure she has no job then?

You don't have to agree with her, you don't have to encourage her, but if you insist on all people who have different opinions to yourself being unemployed then you will have to pay the extra taxes to pay benefits for the people you are determined to make unemployable.

Truecaramel · 23/10/2025 11:51

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Truecaramel · 23/10/2025 11:53

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:53

she has only started doing it the last month with the racist posts and it has built up and built up. We have always had different political beliefs she quite right wing and me I would say left of centre. But we never discuss this. But this I can’t ignore

It's you who's right wing OP

Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 11:58

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Good to know that it's ok for people with 'life experience' to think the men in my family are pedophiles.

Biskieboo · 23/10/2025 11:58

Your views come from thinking the needs, wants and desires of men trump the needs and safety of women.

Bloody hell! With leaps like that you want to get yourself to LA in 2028 as you're a shoo-in for Olympic long jump gold!

UnintentionalArcher · 23/10/2025 12:00

BoredZelda · 23/10/2025 11:10

See, the issue you have here is you are confusing the legally protected “freedom of speech” with the culturally defined “freedom of speech”. What people mean when they bleat “freedom of speech” is “speech free of consequences”.

You are correct that people can say what they like within the bounds of the law, I would fight to the death to protect that right. Nobody should be prosecuted or targeted by the authorities for their words, unless they break the law. But to suggest that anyone should be allowed to say anything and not face societal consequences is absurd. If a teenager in school makes racist remarks towards a fellow pupil, you’d expect the school to step in and deal with it, no? If someone on a train is racially abusing another passenger, you’d expect at least one person on the train to step in and stop it or at the very least, challenge them on it, perhaps call a guard? If you see a van driver driving like a dickhead, you might call their company and tell them. Many vehicles have a sticker encouraging you to do just that.

If an employee is saying or doing things that could reflect badly on their business, maybe they are slagging off the boss or telling tales about the culture, the employer has the right to consider that as problematic and to deal with that, don’t they? Why is there a different standard when those things are racist in nature? Why are we supposed to let that slide on the basis people can have their own beliefs? If this friend had said these things directly to OP, in the privacy of their own home or in a DM/Text you’d be quite right, just stepping away would be the correct course of action. When this is on a public forum (which, no matter how “private” you think your own FB is, it is considered public) that can impact on the employer. If someone chooses to alert them, it’s up to the employer to decide if they are ok with it.

That post you are referring to (I think) was the one where an adult coach was swearing in front of a group chat of young teenagers. There were a plethora of reasons why that chat was inappropriate, and reporting to the head of the service was acceptable as a parent. Neither of these situations are covered by a person’s legal right to free speech, and nobody was suggesting those people stop saying those things. Just that in certain circumstances, saying those things may have consequences on your life. That person can decide whether sharing their beliefs publicly is worth those consequences. Many people decide they are and that’s absolutely fine.

I will not sit back and let someone say racist things unchallenged. That is my right. I will accept the consequences of doing so whether it be to fall out with my brother (which I did) or to have someone shout and swear at me an call me names (which has happened). I won’t be bullied in to silence by someone who believes their right to share their opinion is greater than mine. If I challenge someone on their views, I’m not telling them they aren’t allowed to say what they said, I am telling them my thoughts on what they have said.

I wouldn’t choose to raise something with someone’s employer in most situations. But if I were an employer and an employee was doing this, and they were a client facing member of staff, I’d prefer to know about it so I could keep an eye on them. The last thing you want is for a client to bring a case of harassment or prejudice against your company.

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Well said. I was going to say very similar - this poster seems not to have understood that the right to free speech co-exists with hate speech laws (etc) and that the latter takes precedence over the former if the threshold is reached for a crime like racist hate speech, which may be the case with the OP’s friend.

’Thought Police’ wasn’t a helpful analogy as Orwell imagined methods for reading the characters’ actual thoughts and intruding into their private spaces as opposed to simply policing what they said publicly. The OP’s friend is publicly posting what might be (emphasis on might, as we don’t know) classified as hate speech. As you’ve said, the right to free speech does not mean the right to freedom from consequence for hate speech.

Also, the OP started the thread as a discussion about trying to warn her friend about the dangers of her posts, not about reporting her to her employer for them. She was trying to help her friend and it was a third person who eventually screenshotted and reported the comments, not the OP. I’m unsure, therefore, where the poster you’ve responded to got the idea that she was acting from a negative place.

Blogswife · 23/10/2025 12:00

Encourage your friend to shop her - she’s shouldn’t be working in her role with so many prejudices

Truecaramel · 23/10/2025 12:00

Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 11:58

Good to know that it's ok for people with 'life experience' to think the men in my family are pedophiles.

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All the vicious people calling for thought police. Stuff like that will really come and bite you on the arse.Oh my.
There are religious things that should be never be done or said in public, but you arent starting on them. You are starting on someone who thinks that undocumented criminals passing through many safe countries to get maximum benefits are no more important that girls and women that live here.
The same common denominator shrieking for more lockdowns. Evil.

Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 12:02

It's baffling that some posters think " Immigrants are pedophiles' is standing up for women's rights.

Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 12:03

Truecaramel · 23/10/2025 12:00

All the vicious people calling for thought police. Stuff like that will really come and bite you on the arse.Oh my.
There are religious things that should be never be done or said in public, but you arent starting on them. You are starting on someone who thinks that undocumented criminals passing through many safe countries to get maximum benefits are no more important that girls and women that live here.
The same common denominator shrieking for more lockdowns. Evil.

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I haven"t called for OP to report her friend
I said to block her and move on.
Does that make me thought police?

Kimura · 23/10/2025 12:08

greenishredblue · 22/10/2025 23:59

It’s her husband I am concerned for really with the wanting to know if she could be sacked. He is going through a lot of horrible stuff heath wise and he is on the verge of being let go from work on medical grounds. He is not on Facebook so won’t see the posts

None of this is any of your business.

Truecaramel · 23/10/2025 12:11

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Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 12:11

Anyway those more worried about the 'thought police' than unfettered racism, do consider the implications of your equating all minorities to criminals.

There was a stabbing of a white women in my area recently. Immdiately anon posters in the neighbourhood group started accusing " dodgy brown men". My husband and son are brown men. The neighbourhood GPs are brown men. The Tesco staff are brown men. But nobody objected.

Evntually it was found to be a domestic dispute. The woman's boyfriend stabbed her. A white man. The damage had been done by then with everybody looking suspiciously at brown men or anyone who looked different.

JHound · 23/10/2025 12:12

pusspuss9 · 23/10/2025 10:51

I genuinely don't care about the colour of people's skin.

As a woman I very much care about having to walk around covered up, enforced marriages, female genital mutilation, ,being of less worth than a man, etc, etc, It's lazy to call everybody who thinks the same as I as 'racist ' when in fact it gives a get out of jail card to those who believe in the subjugation of women and girls.
We need to be more honest about what precisely we object to, then we can place our misgivings in the places they belong.

Why did you not read OP before commenting?

Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 12:13

Ooh maybe the first time I have been told on MN to " integrate".

JHound · 23/10/2025 12:15

See, the issue you have here is you are confusing the legally protected “freedom of speech” with the culturally defined “freedom of speech”. What people mean when they bleat “freedom of speech” is “speech free of consequences”.
You are correct that people can say what they like within the bounds of the law, I would fight to the death to protect that right. Nobody should be prosecuted or targeted by the authorities for their words, unless they break the law. But to suggest that anyone should be allowed to say anything and not face societal consequences is absurd.

A-Fucking-Amen.

I am tired of people who think “Free Speech” means “speech free of any and every social consequence.”

Truecaramel · 23/10/2025 12:15

Holluschickie · 23/10/2025 12:11

Anyway those more worried about the 'thought police' than unfettered racism, do consider the implications of your equating all minorities to criminals.

There was a stabbing of a white women in my area recently. Immdiately anon posters in the neighbourhood group started accusing " dodgy brown men". My husband and son are brown men. The neighbourhood GPs are brown men. The Tesco staff are brown men. But nobody objected.

Evntually it was found to be a domestic dispute. The woman's boyfriend stabbed her. A white man. The damage had been done by then with everybody looking suspiciously at brown men or anyone who looked different.

Very true. But do balance with the actual statistics and how overrepresented some crimes are in some demographics and decide what's more important to you, the safety and freedoms of women or the feelings of some men. And which does more harm what she's posting or what her friend is posting and to whom.

JHound · 23/10/2025 12:16

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What does that have to do with the claim that “immigrants are paedophiles”?

Do you believe all immigrants are paedophiles?

Brefugee · 23/10/2025 13:10

Owlbookend · 23/10/2025 10:42

For people who are questioning raising this issue with her employers, i think it is important to note that she works for a solicitors. She is involved with the administration of the legal system. I would hope that everybody would understand that holding and publicising views such as "immigrants are pedos" is entirely unacceptable for someone working in any capacity within the legal system.

These views aren't benign they are abhorrent. A non-prejudical legal system is essential for a free and fair society.

but OP doesn'T work there.
So OP needs to block and unfriend (she said she did, but then she snooped more so i really don't have any sympathy with poor OPs eyes being assailed by this tripe)

If you think something needs reporting to the police do so. You can report racism to Facebook (but they won't do anything)

The police will be happy to visit the ex-friend mob handed and arrest for awful words on the internet. It saves them having to solve real crimes like mobile phone theft in London.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 23/10/2025 13:12

I dumped a friend of 15 years’ standing for less than this.