How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago.

[brownalien]

I paid for a fair bit, everyone else has transferred the money back. Friend in question text to ask for bank details, I sent them, she still hasn’t transferred. Awkward.
We’re not hugely close (if we were I would just chalk it up and probably she’d get the next round in when we next went out). I’m finding it annoying more than anything else. Before anyone says - there are definitely zero financial issues.

You seem to have a split personality op
weirdly wet lettuce meets snippy and perfectly capable of being assertive

Made me 😂.

ps. To the other poster it wasn’t ‘snarky’ though, just witty and to the point.l 🙂

I was like you once.

Every time I paid for something and a friend didn’t transfer me back I’d HATE being assertive and asking for the money back. There’s something about asking for money back that is so hard for some people.

You need to re-wire your brain here, you are doing absolutely nothing wrong by asking for the money to be transferred. If anything the person who has forgotten or deliberately not sent the money should be the awkward one.

All you need to do is send a simple text “Hey X! Can you please send me that money over by tomorrow morning, here’s my bank details again - thank you!”

Those who take the piss can spot that you know OP.

Take the bull by the horns. Once you start standing up for yourself it gets easier.

If she still doesn't pay up then say next time that since everybody didn't reimburse you last time, you'll not be fronting this time.

Could you say Hi just checking what date you transferred the money. I’m doing my weekly statement checks and it’s not shown up yet.

Or something like that. Or a more direct, please transfer the money to the bank details I sent, thanks.

Op you sound very assertive here.
just ask. She’s either forgotten so will be thankful for the reminder or is not prioritising this and maybe avoiding it in which case she needs a reminder and a kick up the arse.

The thing is if she remembers in the future she’ll think you’re strange for not saying anything or reminding her. Just send an easy text like everyone is suggesting and do it now so you’re no longer thinking about it. No one can be offended if they are the ones who haven’t paid you! I’ve been stung by these kind of things before and now only do this for close friends who I would not hesitate to contact .

What was the point in this post if your going to wait two days? I don’t get it.

Just ask. Hi Jane, can you pay the xx you owe me for y.
You could add 'everyone else has paid'

I have a friend like this. Its annoying . I've got used to the chasing up as above. I try to avoid the situation, ie not getting into the situation of her owing me money.

I think she thinks that I'll forget, like I'm a scatterbrain who doesn't check on who owes what.

I had this once with a neighbour who borrowed money for the services when we broke down. I was a student and he a lecturer so I didnt appreciate it when I had asked multiple times and not got the money back. So I phoned his gf and asked her to remind him. The money was put through my letter box that evening. Sometimes you got to be really pushy.

High five

I know!!! I’m all over the place

You two had better do it on the count of three and report back!

Sometimes the bank transfer doesn't go through, or it doesn't go through immediately.
A reminder won't be a problem. If she has paid, she'll probably show you the proof.

I've had it happen with a colleague and instead of asking me, she told my boss.
Fortunately, I had a receipt (and a thick skin).

My attempt....

My 'to do' list is exploding! Everyone else has paid their £28.50 for our recent meal, so could you do this today please? Then at least there's one thing I can cross off the list.

Bank deets below again to make this as easy AND QUICK as possible for you 😃

Please message her! She may have genuinely forgotten - it has happened to me before, I was so mortified!

No, but you are wasting the time of all these nice people who are trying to help you find wording you're comfortable with, if you're just not going to bother in the first place. And that's really rude.

Put on your big girl pants, it's not difficult.

Here's a suggested message...

Hi x, I know you've probably forgotten the £ for the night out. I'm sure you've got lots on and it hasn't even hit your todo list but its sitting on mine a bit like a cloud because I hate chasing as I feel uncomfortable. So I can feel comfortable again would you mind getting it on your todo list and transferring over. Here are my bank acc details etc , in case you haven't got them. Much appreciate your help in sorting.

Or you could just say - cough up...

Are you going to do it or just keep talking about doing it because you might look like you want YOUR money back.

Hi, the money didn’t come through on my side so hoping it hasn’t gone to another account. Can you check please. Thanks

Send that now then it’s done and we can know 😁

You are fretting and fretting.

Send a message. Guaranteed you will feel much much better.

'Just a quick reminder to transfer my money'

Job done.

I hate the chasing, it always winds me up having to ask people again, but don't back down. I usually just say 'hi, please could you transfer across the money for XXX when you get the chance? I put the cost on my credit card and it's due for payment. It was XXX amount. Thanks'

I am trying to be better but really struggle keeping on top of little jobs like this and often will just forget - or remember, but at inappropriate times when I can't pay.

I always intend to pay and would really appreciate a reminder.

I'd just send something like

"Just giving you a nudge on the £ for the meal."

Chill. No one is posting with a gun to their head.

All of the replies are being read by me, and I helpful in deciding what I’m going to do.

I’ll update when I’ve don’t it so you can sleep.