How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago.

[brownalien]

I paid for a fair bit, everyone else has transferred the money back. Friend in question text to ask for bank details, I sent them, she still hasn’t transferred. Awkward.
We’re not hugely close (if we were I would just chalk it up and probably she’d get the next round in when we next went out). I’m finding it annoying more than anything else. Before anyone says - there are definitely zero financial issues.

Stop being a wet lettuce or people will click on and itll happen more!

”hi friend hows you? Just texting to make sure you got my bank details, cant remember if I sent them to you or not xx” easy peasy!

Feigning poverty is 100% not something I would ever do

Is it possible that she sent the money to another account in error?

I always panick that I'm going to make a stupid mistake with online banking. You could message

'Just realised that your transfer hasn't reach my account. Do you want to double check the payment details before I chase my bank? '

PS. I had a similar issue recently. I am the sort of person that would make the payment back that same day. It really irritated me that several days later, still no money. Actually, though, I didn’t have to remind her as she sent it about 10 days later. I think some people are just more relaxed about this sort of thing, or occasionally forgetful.However, it made me rethink offering to pay for things. In future, as I can’t be bothered with this kind of hassle.

I'm honestly not having a go OP - I am just laughing.

Grasp the nettle - you'll feel better.

This is perfect.

I used to iron for people and a few of them paid by bank transfer. If I didn't get the payment I would just text to ask them if they had paid it yet because it hadn't appeared in my account. It never offended anyone and it always did the trick.

I find it really irksome. I transfer everything straight away every time.

I used to find this awkward but no more, hate to owe anyone money too and would definitely want to be reminded if I forgot. Please don't say anything apologetic or grovelling just send a friendly "Hi CF, good to see you on the night out. Can you please send the £28.50 as just checked my banking app and it hasn't arrived" If your bank details are on the message above no need to send them again.

Text now. Why put it off. £28.50 this time, £50 next time and so on, you’re opening the flood gates for being taken a lend off here. Just send a friendly text saying hi, have you remembered you still owe me from the night out.

Saying for have a direct debit isn’t “feigning poverty” and I only came up with the idea because for some reason you don’t have the balls to just ask for the money outright. I was trying to help you as you’re obviously very meek and timid. I’d have rung the person 10x by now.

Just ask when are they planning on transferring the money.

I was just reading this thread and thinking the EXACT same thing and saw your post.

My advice: imagine you’re a man. Don’t write too much or make it too jokey. Imagine you have a list of things you need to get done and this is just one straightforward text that you need to get on with on your to-do list. Send it. Eat a biscuit. Relax.

Just send that now instead of posting here FFS.

Well then, what's the point of this thread? You're not prepared to chase for the money, you've said it yourself.

Get a grip. Send a text 'Susan, I haven't had the money you said you would transfer. Please can you send it over now. Bank details reattached'. On the group chat, so everyone can see that a) she's a cheeky bitch and b) you're not a pushover.

Do it now, not in two more days. If she hasn't paid so far then why do you think she is going to do it in two more days? Takes the piss out of the others who have paid up promptly too.

It makes me happier to give people the benefit of the doubt. So in this case I would assume she forgot. And if I were in her shoes, I would want to be reminded. That means you are doing her a FAVOUR by helping her get square with you.

Imagine if it was the other way round and you were the one who'd forgotten to pay somebody back and then you realised several months later. Think how rotten you would feel, wondering if the kind person who paid on the night has been resenting you, and now you'd be feeling guilty and extra awkward because so much time has passed!

I'm the same. Friend had a baby recently and owe me about 50 euro and I could do with it.

If you do then so will I 😄

‘Hi - I haven’t had your money yet for the night out. My bank details are …. Can you send me £28.50 today please’

that’s all you need to say. She should be mortified that she hasn’t sent it yet, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about.

If you find a fairly mild reminder too awkward then just accept you probably won't ever get it back.

I'm not sure what magic combination of non offensive words anyone on here can suggest

It's only awkward if you make it.

What @Saracen said. Honestly, she probably just forgot. Send a brief, non-accusatory reminder and she will probably just say 'oops sorry! I've sent it now' and you can both get on with your lives. No need to make a saga out of it.

You’re assertive enough with us OP, just us those skills to ask for YOUR money!

I find this hard to believe. Most normal people hate owing others money (unless it’s a partner or a parent)

Contact your 'friend' again, along with your bank details, and the message:

"Hi. I just wanted you to cross check my bank details, as your payment still has not landed into my account. Please let me know when I can expect your payment and I'll let you know when I have received it"

Op, I'm actually feeling stabby on your behalf some of which is aimed at you for allowing this woman to fleece you . I loathe confrontation so I really do understand how awkward this is, but in this situation even I would chase it, mainly because I don't like to feel that I've been taken advantage of.

There are loads of really good options for the wording on this thread...don't wait any more, just text her now. Please?!

So you can be snarky when you want to be? 🤣

Maybe use this attitude on your friend who, you know, you made the thread about!