How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago.

[brownalien]

I paid for a fair bit, everyone else has transferred the money back. Friend in question text to ask for bank details, I sent them, she still hasn’t transferred. Awkward.
We’re not hugely close (if we were I would just chalk it up and probably she’d get the next round in when we next went out). I’m finding it annoying more than anything else. Before anyone says - there are definitely zero financial issues.

That’s what I would do but realistically we know shes not going

I would message along the lines of someone the above just checking she had the right details as you hadn’t seen the payment arrive

Ah come on now. Don't be a mug! I say that as a former mug, or a mug in recovery if you like

You've had loads of useful suggestions on here - pick one and send it. Get the money that she owes you. Honestly, it's a very important skill in life to be able to ask for what is rightfully yours and make sure you get it. You need to hold yourself to account here

I am no longer the 'helpful' person who puts everybody's tickets or whatever on my credit card and then has to do all the chasing and begging and reminding. Sod that. Far too many people are intensely relaxed about other people's money

You say 'Hi, can you check that the £ has left your account as it has yet to land in mine, cheers @brownalien '.

I know I know. Honestly I’m so wet with some things. This being one of them.

It’s £28.50

Next time there's a " you get it and we'll pay you back" situation, just say "no, that doesn't work for me"
If you can't chase people up, you're going to be skint.

Why would you willingly be such a doormat rather than just send a chaser text?

@brownalien another alternative to @rookiemere's

"Hi Cheeky,

Unsure if it's slipped your mind but would greatly appreciate if you'd send your share of our night out asap"

I honestly don’t know. Self esteem issues I would guess

I would maybe just check that she has sent the money to the right account? Use that as an excuse to send your bank details again/remind her.

@brownalien copy and paste @rookiemere's message, close yer eyes and press send to ms cheeky😉

This is a lesson OP don’t ever pay again

If younare incapable of getting money back or in this case even attempting, I would recommend not paying for everyone in a future... Why would you put yourself in a position you can't deal with

Makes no difference if she forgot or is hard up, that's not your problem. Just message
Just checking you got my bank details as I've not received the £??? You owe from the other night. Cheers

Hiya. I've just noticed that you haven't transferred the money. Can you double check your end please?
Sorry to be a pest, but Christmas is fast approaching and I'm skint enough as it is!

Does this version work for you at all?

I’m always paying and I’m comfortable with chasing my closer friends. Why this person is any different I have no idea…. except my closer friends haven’t really ever left it this long.

I don’t need the money, but I am annoyed that she hasn’t bothered sending it. I think it’s cheeky.

If you're scared to ask her directly, you could ask another friend to remind her, if they see her more than you do? Or put a general reminder on the group chat.

Op, in situations like this, I always think, what would a man do? And then I do that.

My husband wouldn’t even remember that he paid for anything and would be genuinely not bothered

But I understand what you’re getting at

So fucking British.

Apologising and feeling bad when you're not even the one in the wrong.

Like, being in a supermarket and someone running over your foot with a trolley and it's you that ends up apologising.

Come on OP. Do it. And then you can put it behind you. I promise it will all be fine.

I once forgot, my friend sent me a friendly whatsapp, hey svrt, you forgot to Bizum my 18€! I answered shit! I forgot, here it is! sorted.

That’s even MORE awkward as she’ll know the OP has been talking about her to their friends! I’d only do this as a last resort after you’ve contacted her again.

yeah I’d never

Is this a male / female difference? I'm a man and I would be bothered, and I'd have a list / spreadsheet tracking who has paid me. Last time I was in a similar scenario, I sent a group chat message saying "Thanks, X, Y, Z - I can confirm, I've received your payments". That nicely flushed out the rest.