How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago.

[brownalien]

I paid for a fair bit, everyone else has transferred the money back. Friend in question text to ask for bank details, I sent them, she still hasn’t transferred. Awkward.
We’re not hugely close (if we were I would just chalk it up and probably she’d get the next round in when we next went out). I’m finding it annoying more than anything else. Before anyone says - there are definitely zero financial issues.

Then why ask a forum for advice if you “probably” are going to just do nothing and let her get away with it?
Just text her reminding her. Or don’t. But if you’re not going to, don’t complain about it.

I know you don’t desperately need the money OP but I’d make out you do in your next text to her.

Say something like “Hi I’ve still not received the money from you? I have a direct debit coming out soon so I’d need the money you owe me ASAP”. Just make it urgent so she doesn’t have an excuse to dither like this.

Because it’s good to talk.

I’m not complaining about anything.

Just message her and say "I notice you haven't transfered the money for the night out. Can you please do so as soon as you can".

It's not difficult. Maybe she forgot, maybe she is being a cheeky fucker but don't just sit there stewing over something like this, just do it.

Absolutely not I’d rather die. She’d know that’s a lie anyway

My favourite! Straightforward but soft.

I’m not sure I’m a fan of I’ve forgotten if I sent you details - it’s is softer but too much self-abasement ?!

Im going to do this in two more days

Exactly, we are going out on Saturday and daughter said the money has all to be paid upfront or I’m not booking for you we all paid and she went down and paid for everyone the full lot ( not just deposits) she worked as a travel agent and had many in saying they are not travelling now .

She might not appreciate it but so what? She owes you the money. The more you practice being assertive, the easier it will become. If you let people walk over you, they will. Stand up for yourself for goodness' sake!

Why give yourself 2 more days to dwell on it. Do it now!

Just do it now. What's the point in waiting?

The title of your OP is literally "How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago." if you don't plan on asking her this post is a total waste of everyone's time... what were you hoping for OP?

You'll feel no different in 2 days. Do it now, you'll feel better.

I sympathise with not dealing effectively with others’ poor behaviour. I’ve definitely been there myself when younger - worrying more about whether pointing something out will offend someone rather than focusing on getting what I need. I agree it can be low self esteem.

What I would suggest is thinking about the amount of time you’ve now spent thinking about this issue (including posting on this thread) vs how long it would take to send one of the texts suggested above and get it sorted. If this is a pattern in your life, you may be wasting time thinking about all sorts of unimportant things.

The way I sometimes deal with myself if I think I might slip into these patterns again is to imagine myself on my deathbed reflecting on how I’d spent my valuable and limited time and brain space. I suspect that this would not make the list of ‘worthwhile’ use of time on deathbed reflection 😂.

Okay, we’ll I hope you’ve found all this reeeeally helpful.

❤️❤️

I’m finding the thread helpful.

If you’re not, there are loads of others.

Hey just checking if you did that transfer, nothing has landed on my end?

❤️❤️❤️

I like this one

You literally asked how to ask for your money! 😂

You didn't start a chat musing about your inability to ask ask for money.

Why though?!! Why are you so meek and awkward around your own friends?

Dont start the message with "I'm sorry" or any apologies, you're not sorry.

I did not indeed prepare for the pile on…

Sorry my title was wrong according to you.

No, I won’t