Neighbours request

[isitmytime]

This might be long so I apologise
I’ve lived in my house, end terraced, for 3 years.
neighbour was a little over friendly to begin with but much better now and we are polite and friendly but she’s no longer messaging me daily etc.

i work shifts so I’m up at 5am or coming home in the early hours. She caught me yesterday morning and asked for a quick chat and complained about noise (she’s previously said she never heard me and I’m hardly in, which is true) I don’t watch the tv at these times, I either get showered and ready for work and leave or come in get ready for bed and read a book in bed.

she’s requested the following:
no toilet flushing, shower running the tap after 11pm or use the downstairs toilet.
if I’m up early that I don’t shower in the morning or use my hair dryer.

she also moaned about me closing the car and front door, using the extractor fan when cooking, the washing machine/tumble dryer being on after 8pm and some other minor things, this is just in general not time specific.

She was most put out that I said I’m as quiet as I can be but that I won’t adhere to her request and that it’s normal living noise when in attached properties.

this morning she allowed/encouraged her 5year old to stand at my path and scream for a good 10mins while they were getting ready to leave for school. She obviously thought I was still sleeping after getting in at 2.30am but I was up and was leaving the house. The child ran in saying mum she’s just left.
AIBU to continue as normal and ignore her ridiculous request?

A familiar story- a batshit neighbour and why people tend to keep their distance from over zealous neighbours who are giving off bad vibes!!

And I’d be very firmly telling her that last bit. What a stupid thing for her to do.

So you're supposed to do a 💩 and not flush the toilet? Don't be so ridiculous.

Your neighbour is being ridiculously unreasonable

I was going to suggest drying your hair in another room but you are already doing that so feck her. Uncle knob head next door to me used to dry his none existence hair for 3o mins at 6 every morning that was annoying. I never complained about it, how could I

my friend lived in middle terrance so when they flushed the loo the water travelled past half the street to get to her, she used to avoid it when she could but she was never told not to flush

all the other issues are bat shit

I'd be getting up half an hour earlier to do my hoovering!

I wonder to what extent the whole showering in the morning is a British thing?

The houses are clearly not well noise insulated. I never hear anything from my neighbour. If you can hear a hairdryer, that's really bad.

The problem with these types of people is that once you give them the time of day it affirms their ridiculous beliefs. Some people are just crazy but a lot of them IME won't try it if the other person has the 'don't even try it' demeanor.

Not saying that the solution is to be an arse, but once you've tried to be reasonable it's time to take the tough approach. I had a similar neighbour and ended up closing the door in her face after she became rude. She continued hammering on the door so the first time I told her I was done talking, the second time I reopened the door I told her in no uncertain terms I'd be removing her from my property using reasonable force if she didn't fuck off right now.

Not my finest moment but she disappeared like a flash and I never had another silly demand from her.

If you are an end terrace then she is presumably a terrace between two other houses. Could she be hearing noise from her neighbours on the other side of her and think it is you?

You should inbox her and tell her you heard it too and it was the child from number x!

I run a shower for longer than I run a bath. Is that weird? (not a full bathtub)

There is a two word answer. What a stupid and bonkers woman!

I'd be screwed if I lived in Switzerland! I'm only halfway through my gym session and always need a shower as I get really muddy at work. It's a task just cleaning myself up enough for the gym, yet alone going to bed without a shower!

Wow sorry but a spin cycle at 2am in an upstairs flat is a P* take! I think you’d be within your rights to say something on this one!

She is entitled to install sound proofing to her property if she can't cope with perfectly normal sounds.

@mirrorsandlightstheyre Howard leight ones pink and yellow and I get them from Amazon best I’ve used and really block out unwanted noise.

There are exceptional circumstances. How often do you do a no. 2 in the middle of the night… Having to get up early to catch a flight would be another exception. or a baby that needs feeding, or a child who is ill. But to routinely disturb neighbours unnecessarily…?

This would be a double fuck off from me.
She sounds a weirdo

She is being controlling - but if you are coming home at unsociable hours and doing things around your home at these times - your neighbour obviously is affected by it to have to pull you to the side. Are you slamming car doors early hours of the morning or putting your washing machine on late at night? Because that would annoy me if I’m getting woken up most days by this

Her problem, not yours.

I live in a terrace and I dont hear a thing from my neighbours or their kids? Why are people so sound sensitive?

This!

I‘d want to start collecting wind chimes.

Seriously though, do keep a diary of incidents in case there is any escalation.

You could pop a pair of ear plugs in a ziplock bag and nail it to her front door.
Honestly, I hope you have a ring camera because she sounds batshit crazy.