Neighbours request

[isitmytime]

This might be long so I apologise
I’ve lived in my house, end terraced, for 3 years.
neighbour was a little over friendly to begin with but much better now and we are polite and friendly but she’s no longer messaging me daily etc.

i work shifts so I’m up at 5am or coming home in the early hours. She caught me yesterday morning and asked for a quick chat and complained about noise (she’s previously said she never heard me and I’m hardly in, which is true) I don’t watch the tv at these times, I either get showered and ready for work and leave or come in get ready for bed and read a book in bed.

she’s requested the following:
no toilet flushing, shower running the tap after 11pm or use the downstairs toilet.
if I’m up early that I don’t shower in the morning or use my hair dryer.

she also moaned about me closing the car and front door, using the extractor fan when cooking, the washing machine/tumble dryer being on after 8pm and some other minor things, this is just in general not time specific.

She was most put out that I said I’m as quiet as I can be but that I won’t adhere to her request and that it’s normal living noise when in attached properties.

this morning she allowed/encouraged her 5year old to stand at my path and scream for a good 10mins while they were getting ready to leave for school. She obviously thought I was still sleeping after getting in at 2.30am but I was up and was leaving the house. The child ran in saying mum she’s just left.
AIBU to continue as normal and ignore her ridiculous request?

She can shower before going to bed. Presumably she isn't burning the candle at both ends.

Your body doesn’t stop sweating when you sleep. People need to shower in the morning or they smell. They may think they don’t but they do.

Can't say I've ever fancied Switzerland, and this is one reason why. Don't they have laws about hanging out the washing on a Sunday or something too?
It only seems to be affecting the neighbour's quality of life now, which is weird after three years. I think she's just suddenly decided she's got a problem with it.
There's 'consideration' – no loud music or telly at 3am, say – and then there's just using your own shower and flushing the loo.

Ffs she can’t tell you when to wash or flush your toilet! It’s hardly antisocial noise. Maybe you should recommend your ear plugs to her since she’s so oversensitive to minor sounds

Here comes my standard respose to all these bonkers neighbours, they should try having my lot who have:
Wrecked the communal entry gate
Damaged the gate I then paid for to replace the wrecked gate
Messed about with the drainage from their bathroom so that their dirty bath water was flooding into my back yard
Deal drugs
Broke into my yard and pinched my wheelie bin
Called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I asked them to keep the noise down and by noise I mean shouting, yelling and fighting!
Fly tip
Chuck rubbish out on the pavement
Blocked the communal entry with rubbish
Someone who moans about a hairdyer doesn't know they are born and must be leading an empty and deeply unfulfilling life to even notice such a thing let alone start moaning about it. Ignore her

You are legally permitted the enjoyment of your property and she is interfering with that. My first instinct would have been to tell her she’s batshit and to fuck off, but that’s not going to help you, given what happened this morning. I think she’s getting ready to make your life hell if you don’t comply with her requests so I think your best move is to make sure you’re acquainted with the law in respect of what’s reasonable and what’s not. As far as I know, the normal noise levels associated with everyday living apply from 7am to 11pm, after which time care should be taken with anything excessive.

If you know you’re not being excessively noisy I would keep a log of the times of day or night she is making excessive noise herself and when you have enough evidence report to the council. If you can, try to video anything designed to cause a nuisance, such as what happened this morning - security cameras might be a good idea, and upload and keep the footage. I have a horrible feeling you’re headed for all out war as she sounds unhinged.

Perhaps you should mention that your ear plugs mean you don't hear a thing even when the school run is going on, and would she like to bulk buy with you? It might make her realise that it's not going to work to try and be noisy when she thinks you're asleep.

She’s welcome to soundproof her side of the wall. That would help her. But no toilet flushing?! Hahaha

She's doing this because she wanted to be your friend and you've made it clear you don't want that.

Let her get on with it. I doubt you're make enough noise for her to take it to the council, from what you say you're just making normal household noises. Loads of people work shifts - what would she say if you asked her not to have a shower or slam her car door while you were sleeping?

Exactly.

No. She does not dictate how you live. She can pay for cavity wall insulation and sound proofing and or get noise canceling ear muffs should it bother her

I’d actually hold out and let her continue making the noise. She will be the only one that comes out of it looking bonkers! And plus, it’ll annoy her much more to get no reaction. You know she’s already prepared a response to whatever you would say to her, I’d never give her the satisfaction!

This reminds me of the time my batshit neighbour came running into my house and up my stairs, screaming at me for using my hairdryer at 5.55pm. apparently because it was dark outside it was still the “middle of the night”. She also tried demanding I don’t use my washing machine OR watch tv at any volume, after 6pm!!!! She even went as far as to get Environmental Health to put recording equipment in to try ‘catch me’ daring to use my hairdryer after dark……

Some people don’t see the gigantic difference between hearing your neighbours existing and actual noise nuisance.

Switzerland does not have a law that prohibits showering, but taking a shower after 10 p.m. is strongly discouraged due to noise concerns and is sometimes restricted by rental contracts. The reasoning is that the sound of running water is considered too loud and can disturb neighbors, and while some landlords may ban it, it is not a nationwide legal ban. Taking a shower is generally considered a short-duration noise, unlike running a bath, which is a longer and louder activity.

Noise concern:
Showering after 10 p.m. is discouraged because the sound of running water can be too loud and disturb neighbors.

Not a legal ban:
While there is no law prohibiting showering, some landlords include rules against it in rental agreements to prevent noise complaints

She sounds unhinged. Ignore

Live your life as you see fit. I would politely acknowledge but ignore.

I work beside people who do this and I can confirm they do indeed smell. I couldn’t leave the house without a shower so unfortunately that’s staying.

someone mentioned an extractor fan maybe being the issue. I don’t have one! The previous owners removed it when they upgraded the bathroom and I have a light up mirror with Bluetooth instead. Not that I use it other than the light I’m not in the shower long enough to bother with music.

@reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson good idea, I just have. 😂

Absolutely batshit

In addition to this I'd wear big obvious headphones when she's outside making noise and make sure she sees you. Pop out and put something in the bin for example. Then smile and wave and toddle off back inside.
If she thinks you haven't noticed her efforts she might give up, eventually.
If definitely keep a diary and get a doorbell cam though.

As people have said blank her from now on

A friend of mine has told me that, when dropping their children off for weekend visit, her ex-husband's next door neighbour came out of her house to complain about his snoring. They live in Victorian terraced property, she's moved her bed away from the party wall, put wardrobes against it But his snoring still disturbs her. She said that was one of the reasons why her ex husband is her ex. 😂

What earplugs do you use, please?

It’s reasonable noise, even if she can hear you. She needs to buy a nice house in a remote area.

Sounds like she’s just looking for trouble for some reason. Just ignore it if you can

Rise above OP.

Who knows what’s motivating her. Her requests are unreasonable unless there are serious soundproofing problems.

Of course, be considerate, as you clearly have been. But I wouldn’t get into any kind of spat. Among other reasons, it may encourage her. Best to ignore her unless the nuisance from her persists.